When Booze and Curry Mix
[ranking: 17]
"I worked at a hostel for three months.
One morning, we went into one of the rooms, and there was this funky smell. We looked around a bit, couldn't see anything, so we just got to making the beds. We went to straighten out a bundled-up duvet and what do we find? A huge stinking pile of booze-and-curry vomit which some d*ckhead had hidden in the duvet, so he could run away before we found out. We had to wash the whole damn mattress and everything.
We left it outside to air, but the thing stunk for a week."
Guest Overstays Their Welcome
[ranking: 5]
"We noticed a smell on a Saturday, but we'd been having problems with our central air system and didn't think about it. Come Monday, one hall smelled horrible. A maid grabbed all the managers when she tried to open a room and smelled something crazy.
The guest had been dead in there for three days, but he had a chain on the door, and we can't cut it until the "Do Not Disturb"sign has been on the door for at least two days at our hotel.
I will NEVER forget that smell. We had to replace the carpet, replace the bed, paint the ceiling, everything. Ugh."
Man Builds Contraption in Room
[ranking: 13]
"My sister was a hotel maid while she was in university and told me this one. She was called to a room because there were complaints of someone making loud moaning noises, and the sound of someone drilling into something. What she walked into would be something she would not soon forget.
A man had suspended himself from both his feet, his body, and his throat, while he was in the air masturbating. The drilling sound was from him putting in supports to suspend the ropes from the ceiling. There were also rubber ducks everywhere.
She promptly left.
Here's a sketch of it."
The Case of the Sticky Yellow Trident
[ranking: 16]
"I used to work part time as [hotel cleaning staff] (I'm a man, so not exactly a maid). Once, I found a sticky, yellow dildo with a smell that will suffocate your soul and scar you for life. It was shaped like a deformed Neptune's trident, with two big poles and a smaller pole, not even half the size of the first two. (I hope they are called poles since I'm not a dildo-engineer.) I have heard of rabbit vibrators since my girlfriend has one, but not a three-headed one. It was stuck under the mattress, leaving in the middle of it a little sickly green.
So yeah, f*ck you, Neptune's wife."
Housekeeper Has Traumatizing Experience
[ranking: 8]
"I worked with a woman who was the head of housekeeping for a large hotel in the area who told me this story.
There was this woman and her daughter who were local, but checked in the hotel for a few days. One of the housekeepers came to service the room one morning, while the mom was outside by the pool. The housekeeper walked in and found the girl in bed with blood everywhere.
It turned out the girl came to town to have an abortion, and the mom needed to hide it from the dad. The girl started hemorrhaging in her sleep (while mom was already outside the room), and the housekeeper actually found her in time to save her life.
The housekeeper was too distraught after all was said and done to clean the room (I can't remember if she quit), so another housekeeper was brought in to finish."
Homeless Man Leaves His Mark Everywhere
[ranking: 10]
"This one time, I was at work with one other girl, and we had cleaned about 20 rooms that day. We go to our last room at check-out time, we knock on the door, and the door slowly opens. . . Oh my God.
There stands a guy no taller than five feet with ripped clothes, track pants, and dirt all over. His hair was a mess, and he had the grossest beard I've ever seen. He clearly lives on the streets and hasn't showered in a few weeks. He tells us he isn't ready to check-out yet, so we leave and go wait at the front desk. Our manager tells us he came in with a voucher for one night from the Salvation Army.
We finally see him leave, so we go to the room - remembering what he looked like should have prepared us for what we were about to see, but nope.
We open the door, and the smell hits us instantly. We walk over to the window to help air it out and notice sweatpants on top of the TV. He pissed himself and left his pants here. Not okay. I walk over to the bathroom as the other girl starts stripping the sheets, and I notice sh*t smeared all over the shower. As I'm standing there trying to figure out what I'm going to do, all I hear from my coworker is "Are you f*cking kidding me?!" I walk out, and she's pointing to the bed saying he pissed the bed. Great, now we need to bring a new mattress up from the basement, but oh wait... She goes to lift up the sheets and we see sh*t f*cking everywhere.
At this point, we're both pissed off to the max and disgusted. We call our manager, and he comes in, gets his wife to take care of the sh*t room, so all was well.
That job f*cking sucked. Got some good stories from there though."
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