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  • (#1) Diarrhea explosion plagues Walmart bathroom

    "When I was janitorial at Walmart, I had to clean one of the most unholy messes I have ever seen. It was a Saturday like any other, I was messing around in the back trying to look busy, and I get a page to the front bathrooms for a mess. I thought it was something minor, maybe a spill, full trash, etc. BUT NO. I get up there and the lady that I was working with was walking out of there gagging. So I mentally prepare myself for what I am about to see. I walk in with my cart, open the stall, and I see what I can only imagine is what hell looks like. It looks as if someone had exploded diarrhea F*CKING EVERYWHERE. Just climbed to the ceiling like some sort of white trash Spiderman, and let lose. It was horrifying, and of course I was the only one who could clean it, the other folks couldn't stand the smell without puking. So I manned up and got to it. It took almost an hour, and a whole jug of bleach, and I got it clean. That was about the point I realized $7.70 an hour isn't nearly enough to deal with that."

  • (#10) Mall janitor finds dead man lying in his own urine on bathroom floor

    "I was a janitor at a shopping mall for about a month when I was a teen in the late 90s. While cleaning the bathrooms one Saturday I walked in and saw an unconscious older man lying on his back on the floor. It looked like he had been using the urinal and just fell backwards. I left the bathroom and grabbed a security guard. He came in and took one look at the guy and froze. He was dumbfounded, didn't know what to do. I raised my voice for him to call 9-1-1. When the paramedics showed up, one of them asked if I wanted to help by holding his IV bag while they wheeled him out. I asked if the guy was going to make it because he was making groaning sounds. The paramedic said he's already dead but they couldn't pronounce him because they needed a doctor to do it when they got to the hospital. When I got home, later that night, I was pretty shaken up by the experience. My dad, who survived Vietnam, said I was lucky that my first experience with death was such a clean one. He wasn't there, of course, and he didn't hear the body's moans. That was the end of my janitorial career. I felt so bad about a man dying in his own piss, alone, in a strange bathroom that I tried to find out who he was and maybe contact his family. But I eventually gave up that idea when the hospital stonewalled me because I wasn't a family member."
  • (#16) Hunting cabin cleaner sweeps up beer, sex toys, and animal guts

    "As a teenager I worked as a house keeper cleaning cabins in a popular hunting town. I used to have to clean up animal entrails/parts, shell casings, and lots of beer cans. The strangest things I've found though was a prosthetic leg, a duffle bag that contained a buck knife and a double headed dildo, and a dried deer leg."
  • (#3) Rancid lunch box causes janitor to projectile vomit

    "One night we noticed an above average amount of flies congregating around a Dora the Explorer lunch bag hanging off a coat hanger in the hallway. It also kind of stinks, so I prod it with my broom, and a Ziploc bag full of brown sludge falls out and explodes on the floor. The putrid stench of whatever was in the bag hits me like a truck and I instantly projectile vomit on the floor. My friend who was also working with me as a janitor comes over and can't even come within 20 feet because it smells so bad. We shovel it into a snow shovel and dump it in the dumpster, but by then the smell has permeated the entire building. We had to open every window and basically mop the whole building with this powerful anti-odor stuff that we had. To this day, I have no idea what could have been in that bag, my hypothesis is that it was a porkchop sandwich that had liquefied and fermented over the course of several months."
  • (#7) Girls deface movie theatre bathroom with poop and blood graffiti during "Twilight" release

    "Movie theatre. Twilight releases. Separate occasions.

    'Team Jacob' written in sh*t in a woman's restroom stall.

    Next release? 'Team Edward' written in period blood in a woman's restroom stall."

  • (#9) Repeat offender leaves sausages in grocery store's urinals

    "When I was 15, I worked at a big grocery store as part of the maintenance team. Being the rookie, I had to clean both male and female bathrooms. Almost every time I went to clean the male bathroom, I would find raw sausages in the urinals. I was a kid, so I don't know why some idiot thought he was so funny leaving those for me to find."

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