Random Creepiest Things Little Kids Have Ever Saidreport

Why Does That Man Have A Knife?

[ranking: 1]
When my son was about 4 or 5, we were in the toilet before his bedtime and he was brushing his teeth, and he dropped his tooth brush and I picked it up for him and when my eyes met him he just stared at me and said, "Dad, why does that man have a knife?" and pointed behind me. Quickest 180 I've ever ... done.
/u/benswargle



You'll See Grandma Tomorrow

[ranking: 2]
My Grandma [passed because] of cancer in February 2012. My whole family was up at my Grandparent's house to comfort each other. The night before her prayer service, my 4-year-old cousin told my heartbroken Grandpa, "Good night Grandpa. Don't be so sad. You'll see Grandma tomorrow." We all heard and assumed she meant at the prayer service, but he [passed] the next morning.
/u/twizzler95



Where The Passed Babies Go

[ranking: 3]
A good friend of mine and her husband bought what is considered an "old" house around here. (Western Canada...not many houses over 100 years old). They were renovating the basement one day while I was visiting. I was down there alone with their son, who was barely 2 at the time, and could not yet speak in full sentences. He took my hand and led me over to a brick chimney-like thing, with a rusty metal door on it. He looked up and said 'That's where the [passed] babies go."
I was horrified. Firstly, because, like I said, the kid could barely talk, let alone say something like that. I doubt he even knew what "[passed]" meant. I'm positive that no one would have told him that, and there were no older kids around that would have said that as a joke. Still creeps me out to this day.
/u/PersonMcNugget



Mommy, Who's That?

[ranking: 4]
My daughter and I woke up one morning and we usually lay there and talk for a while before we get up. I'm laying facing the wall with my back towards the door. My daughter is talking and facing me, pauses, and asks, "Mommy, who's that?" And points behind me. I didn't know whether to turn around or just let whoever was about to [slay] me do it while I wasn't looking. I turned around and no one was there. Scariest moment of my life.
/u/Hollicost



The Corpse In The Closet

[ranking: 5]
When my daughter was around 4 or 5, we lived in a house that had been converted into three separate apartments. We lived in the basement portion. Because of the way they converted the house, there was a small recessed area under one of the stairways that formed a small closet/storage space in her room. One night while she was getting ready for bed I overheard her talking to someone in her room. I poked my head in and asked if she was calling for me. Her words ?? "No. I was talking to the little boy who lives in my closet... He's [not alive]." Insta-chills.
/u/TaffetaDarling



He's Behind You Now

[ranking: 6]
 
"Go back to sleep, there isn't anything under your bed."
"He's behind you now."
Still haven't gotten over that one and shiver at the memory.
/u/ToastedCheese
 



Goodbye, Dad

[ranking: 7]
I was tucking in my two year old. He said "Good bye, dad." I said, "No, we say good night." He said "I know. But this time it's good bye."
/u/UnfortunateBirthMark



Satan In The Sandbox

[ranking: 8]
 
My son??s best friend, age 5: "I found Satan while I was digging in the sandbox. Now he lives inside me."  
/u/TuggbackWookie
 



How Did You Get Out Of Your Box?

[ranking: 9]
I passed out reading my 3 year old niece a book at bedtime. Then, woke up around 2am and sat up. It was dark and silent. There was a nightlight on that gave my niece's face a Rembrandt lighting effect. She had her eyes wide open looking at me and whispered... "How did you get out of your box?"
/u/Narfatron



Man With The Snake Neck

[ranking: 10]
While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door. She kept looking around me and laughing. I asked her what was so funny. She said, "the man." To which I replied, "What man?" She then pointed at the closet and said, "The man with the snake neck." I turn around and nothing was there. I'm afraid to look into the history of my house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn't scared.
/u/QuagmireDP



Where The Scary Girl Lives

[ranking: 11]
Babysitting my nephew, he was around 4 or so. Me: "Will you go get the cup from the living room?" Him: "No. I don't go in the living room." Me: "Why?" Him: "That's where the fireplace is." Me: "So?" Him: "That's were the scary girl lives." Me: "Well, I guess I don't [want to] go in there either."
/u/level1biscuit



I Am Your Mother

[ranking: 12]
My older sister was born the year my Dad's mom [passed]. According to my dad, as soon as my sister was old enough to say the words, she said "I am your mother."   /u/benedictishii



I Had A Sister, Right?

[ranking: 13]
"Before I was born here, I had a sister, right? Her and my other Mom are so old now. They were ok when the car was on fire, but I sure wasn't!"
He was maybe 5 or 6 years old? It was totally out of the blue.
/u/surethingsugar
 



If You're Quiet, You'll Stay Alive

[ranking: 14]
My 2-year-old daughter: "If you're quiet you'll stay alive"
I still have no clue where that came from.
/u/bluebelt
 



Squirrel Squisher

[ranking: 15]
"One day I want to step on a squirrel and watch its eyes squish out"
We stared at each other for a moment (my husband and I) and told him that hurting animals is not ok.
/u/hissxywife



Chewing On Bones

[ranking: 16]
My 3-year-old son generally has a happy-go-lucky attitude, so this is pretty odd.
Sometimes when he's cuddling with his mommy, he'll say, very seriously, "Mom, I promise I won't ever chew on your bones. I promise."
Absolutely no idea where he got this.
/u/Lord_of_hosts



A Stranger With A Knife

[ranking: 17]
"What do you wanna be when you grow up?" "A stranger with a knife."
/u/halftank



Remember That Time We [Perished]?

[ranking: 18]
"Daddy, remember that time we [perished]?"
/u/CtrlShiftZ



I Want To Cut Your Head Off

[ranking: 19]
A friend of mine's child told him, "Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want."
/u/GatorMcGovern



I'd Eat Children

[ranking: 20]
When my 2.5-year-old and her friend were hanging out, the topic of T-Rex and other dinos came up. I asked her friend:  
"If you were a T-Rex, what would you do for fun? "  
He answered: "I'd chase herbivores!"  
I then asked my daughter this question:  
"If you were a T-Rex, what would you eat? "  
She got very serious and looked me right in the eyes and said:
 "Children. I'd eat children"
/u/bonkus



My Brother Had One Of Those

[ranking: 21]
My mother took my son to an antique car show; I think he was maybe 3 or 4 at the time. He looked at a Model T Ford and said "My brother had one of those!" He doesn't have a brother.
/u/Aldermere



Daddy, You [Perished] Yet?

[ranking: 22]
I'm minding my own business working in the garage and the door creaks open, and my 2-year-old son pops his head out and says: "Daddy, you [perished] yet?" "No...?" Then he squints and slowly closes the door. For some reason my wife thought it was hilarious.
/u/soundboy4



Daddy, It's A Monster, We Should Bury It

[ranking: 23]
My 3-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, "Daddy its a monster. We should bury it."
/u/Like_i_was_sayin



Today's The Day

[ranking: 24]
Yesterday my 3-year-old son told me, "Today's [sister's] birthday!"
I went into labor last night.
/u/Pinklette
 



I Want To Peel All Your Skin Off

[ranking: 25]
I was sound asleep, and at around 6am I was woken up by my 4-year-old daughter's face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, "I want to peel all your skin off."
The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week, and was starting to peel. In my sleep addled state however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn't know if I was dreaming, or what was going on.
/u/psalm_69
 



Chicken Decapitator

[ranking: 26]
I asked my three kids what they wanted to do when they grew up. Ten-year-old Jason said, "I want to be a teacher." Eight-year-old Mitzi said, "I want to be a writer." Six-year-old Nick said, "I want to run the machine that cuts the heads off the chickens." All-righty then.
/u/masterponomo



I Like Candy And Perishing

[ranking: 27]
Not my child, but a friend of mine came over to my apartment with her [son] last week. I asked him what his favorite holiday was. His answer: "I like Halloween because I like candy and [perishing]!" He's 3 years old.
/u/Mmwilson



Shhhhhhhhhh...

[ranking: 28]
Not me, but a friend of mine snores a bit loudly, and at the time, her daughter would occasionally sleep in the same bed with her. One night she wakes up to her daughter hovering over her with a pillow going "Shhhhhhhhhh..." and trying to put the pillow over her face. Apparently she was snoring quite loudly that evening.
/u/mateusrayje



Why Don't You Just Set Her On Fire?

[ranking: 29]
So my mother-in-law and I were talking about her cat and how it needed to be put down because of how sick she is. My son walks up an says, "Why don't you just set her on fire?" After a serious talk, it came out that's how he thought cremation worked. He didn't realize the person/animal needed to be [deceased] already and there was a special process.
/u/Jeninatx

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