A Most Bizarre Abduction
[ranking: 5]
"My old roommate's dad was a former Naval Officer and then FBI agent. 20 years in the Navy and 12-15 years or so in the FBI.
"One of his strangest stories was from his FBI days. I'll paraphrase it below:
"A kidnapping case, this girl disappeared from her grandparents' RV sometime between like 5pm and midnight. They were up front, next thing they know, she's gone. She was supposed to be sleeping in the back. One stop at a rest stop, then they were in stop-and-go traffic, so they figure she must have popped out the door at some point. This is near the California/Nevada border. So we meet them, talk to them, this is within about a day or so and the girl's still missing, no sign of her. She was 15.
"Local PD theory is she ran off because she's 15 and wants to get away from her lame grandparents for the summer. But there's a busted window (glass inside the vehicle) so we're treating it like a possible kidnapped person.
"After a few hours, there's a couple different theories on the case. One is that she ran off, another that she got snatched. Nobody's seen the girl in almost two days now, and disappearing in the desert for a young girl is tough.
"Next thing you know, we get a phone call - naked girl, lost and confused, picked up by some trucker on a two-lane road out there called Nipton. Runs into I-15 between Barstow and Vegas somewhere. Right near the border. Matches our description. Me and three other guys head out there to meet with the Sheriff who's got her. Turns out she's our girl. She's fine. No rape. No bruises. No exposure. Nothing. Completely healthy. Completely fine. Even cleaned like she took a shower. Won't tell us a damned thing. Doesn't remember a damned thing.
"According to her, one minute she's in the RV, the next she's naked walking down the side of the road in 100-degree heat. We talked to her for two hours while her grandparents headed out to pick her up. We had our social services lady talk to her - nothing. I've seen people hiding things - she wasn't hiding anything. She honestly didn't remember.
"Damndest thing. Anyway, girl was found, she was fine, so we turned it back over to Local PD to figure out what happened and determine if charges were pressed and all. I kept in touch with a guy I knew there because I was curious and we were in a fantasy football league. A few months later he tells me the parents sent the girl to a therapist to look for 'repressed memories' to make sure she wasn't raped or something. Therapist says she seems fine, but honestly has no recollection of her time at all, and doesn't think there's any point to delving much further since she has no symptoms and is largely more confused by the reaction than the event.
"So to this day, we've got a busted RV window with glass on the inside, likely from a moving RV on a jampacked freeway, likely in broad or lightly fading sunlight, with zero witnesses. A 15-year-old girl gets out, or is taken out, and is taken somewhere safe nearby for almost two days, and then is stripped naked without being touched sexually, cleaned up, and deposited on the side of a separate road a few miles away. She didn't have a drug in her system that we could detect. She remembers nothing at all. Nobody knows what happened to her clothes or anything.
"Been almost 20 years since this happened, and I can't figure out what the hell went on with that girl. Still bugs me at night that I have no way to explain it aside from 'She lied the whole time,' but I know liars, and I'd bet money she wasn't lying at all."
Mother of the Demon
[ranking: 4]
"This one time I went out on a call of a suspicious person at a house near where I was at. When I get there the guy tells me that someone knocked on his door and when he went to see who it was there was a woman standing in his driveway with some sort of child-sized doll with horns and it looked like all bloody and cut up. So he asked the woman, who was looking away from him, what she wanted. She turned around and told him 'It needs food' then started screaming at the top of her lungs and ran at him, so like a normal human being he slammed the door in her face and called the cops. I get there and there are well-defined claw marks on his door, there's also a good bit of blood, I supposed from her fingers. So I call it out and start the search on foot, I also had 2 or 3 units driving around the area to see if they can't find this chick.
"So I'm about a block away and we get another call that the woman is back at the guy's house, but in the back yard. So I run about a block back to the guy's house and bust into his backyard. The lights are out so I have my flashlight out and I'm looking around. I see the chick huddled in the corner next to a f*cking evil-looking doll thing and I ask her if she's ok. She doesn't say anything. About this time one of my mobile units came back to the house and parked his unit where the headlights were shining on her so we could see how scary this chick looked. She had long black hair, her clothes were rags, she had no shoes, clearly homeless, and she kept whispering things to the doll.
"So my buddy and I approached and tried talking to her and she just kept whispering to the doll, couldn't understand what the hell she was saying so we decided to drag her... out of there. The second we put hands on this chick she went berserk. Punching, kicking, slapping, all kinds of sh*t. So we're fighting with her trying to get her on the ground and she's not going down, this chick was strong as hell. Well, in the fight she somehow got away from us and was sitting in a crouched position with her head tilted to the side and making the creepiest growl/snarling sound I've ever heard. Then she screams at the top of her lungs and charged at us. So, my buddy straight-jabbed her in the face and knocked her clean out. We cuffed her and hauled her off to the hospital where she tested positive for PCP and various opiates. She was charged with battery of a peace officer, resisting arrest, and trespassing.
"Later she was institutionalized for some sort of mental disorder, not sure quite what it was, my department didn't have anything more to do with her after her booking into the jail."
Christmas Eve Nightmare
[ranking: 2]
"My grandpa was a big Irish cop who started his career in Minneapolis in the mid-1950s. He always has the best stories to tell, but the one unexplainable one he tells me is that he got a call during Christmas Eve to a house with six bodies in it. Being the first responder, he speeds his way there and gets to the house. He walks in, gun drawn, only to find a family that looked like everybody had just had a long night and dozed off until he gets no response trying to wake them. He searches the rest of the house only to find a young teen girl in the bathtub with a single tear run down her cheek.
Everybody seemed to have mysteriously died at once without any known cause and he never found out what it was."
Scarecrow
[ranking: 3]
"Dispatch gets a call from an older couple reporting there's a man standing in their backyard. It's later in the evening and obviously the older couple is freaked out a bit. Several officers show up including my friend [who is a cop] and split into two groups heading around either side of the house. As they emerge in the backyard, guns drawn, they see the suspect and promptly order him to get on the f*cking ground, face first, hands behind his head. As they draw closer he's not responding and they realize he hasn't moved at all. Rewind 2 hours, the suspect had robbed a 7-11 or something like that down the road and taken off on foot. As he entered the neighborhood he tried to cut through this older couple's backyard. When he went to hop the fence in the back he slipped and impaled himself on a fence post. He couldn't pull himself off it and his own body weight slowly drove him down the post.
It had entered at his groin and went straight up to his shoulder. He was literally a human scarecrow."
The Sobering Otis
[ranking: 9]
"Guy came into the jail on a DUI. Turned out it was like his fifth, so he wasn't getting out any time soon. He was okay for a few days and then started getting DTs bad. After a few days of mental health and medical saying 'keep an eye on him, it's just DTs,' he started going really nuts. He only spoke in gibberish and not to real people. He would piss, vomit, and sh*t everywhere but the toilet. He refused to wear clothes and would masturbate incessantly. Despite our concerns that he may have serious mental issues and repeatedly trying to get him admitted to the state hospital, we kept hearing the same response. 'Keep an eye on him, it's just DTs, he'll get over it.' Finally my supervisor had enough and called this guy's lawyer. She came down and we took her to the isolation cell. I opened the window on the door for her and she called out his name. Naked, covered in his own fluids and with a crazed look in his eye, he calmly picked up one of his turds and ate it like a Snickers bar before going back to masturbating. His lawyer gasped in horror, turned to me and my supervisor and said, 'I'll go talk to the judge right now.' Two hours later he was on a transport to the state mental hospital.
I don't really understand the medical aspect, but apparently he was such an alcoholic that the withdrawal had done serious and permanent brain damage."
Just...Wow
[ranking: 13]
"I was babysitting an arrestee at a hospital ER once. He was there for a mental evaluation, and was well known for his umm 'antics.' Apparently he had a thing for anally fisting himself and pulling his own guts out, and I remember one of the security guards there who had known him from previous hospital stays telling me, 'Now keep your eyes on him because he'll do it again, and he's fast.'
Sure enough, about 20 minutes later. The guard was right, he was fast. Up to the elbow, too."
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