Santa Claus?
[ranking: 19]
"Roughly 2AM on the 5 train in Brooklyn. The subway car is completely empty except for me and a completely naked, rail-thin, bearded ginger guy with five enormous garbage bags full of stuffed animals.
"I didn't wait around long enough to meet him."
Hitchhiking Murder Suspect
[ranking: 15]
"I was driving with my girlfriend to a Tempe Imporv show and we spotted a truck broken down under the 202 and 101 interchange. There was a guy walking about 100 meters beyond the truck with a gas can. I asked if we could do a good deed and give this unfortunate guy a ride to a gas station. She said yes so, I pulled over and backed up on the shoulder and asked if he needed a ride. The rest of this story takes place over about 4 minutes.
"He gets in the backseat of the car and we take off. He says he is having a really bad day. My girlfriend says, 'Well, it could be worse, at least you have a ride to the gas station.' He replies that she doesn't know the half of it. Earlier that day, he found out his girlfriend had been murdered. Then he started to talk about being laid off and he was just trying to get to Denver because he had a job opportunity there. My girlfriend exclaimed, 'Oh my gosh, I am so sorry about your girlfriend, what happened?' He said that the police really didn't tell him much because he was a suspect. At this point I grabbed my 1911 in the door pocket and held it in my left hand. It got very quiet in the car as we exited the freeway about two miles from where we picked him up. I drove a block to the nearest gas station and let him out. He immediately started looking around at other people at the gas station. The only thing I could think of is that he was looking for people to ask for money for gas. As soon as the door closed I sped off. It was super creepy."
Unnerving Co-Worker
[ranking: 4]
"A creepy guy who works at my local Walmart was sitting and talking to me one day (I worked there too, at the time). He felt the need to confide in me that at one point in his youth he went to the house of his crush, crawled in her open window, and hid under her bed before she came home for the night. He stayed there until she came home, changed, and had fallen asleep. He just slipped right back out the window and into the night.
"My box spring has been on the floor ever since."
Todd the Comic Book Guy
[ranking: 25]
"On my birthday, my friend took me to a local comic book store to buy me the first few issues of Scott Pilgrim; he had read them and thought I might enjoy them too. When we walked down the dingy concrete staircase into the musty, messy dungeon that was the store, we were greeted by a tall, thin, wispy man with long gray hair. He stood behind a table covered in random comic books. My friend introduces me to the man, and proceeds to tell him it's my birthday. He get's a look of excitement on his face and runs over to the computer behind the cash register, and puts on the birthday song from the children's show 'Bananas in Pajamas.' He sings along to the song while staring into my eyes, unblinkingly. He waited until the song was finished, and then let us pay for the books, and gave me a free comic-related magazine from quite a while ago (it had a big thing about the Watchmen movie in it). We left, and my friend apologized for Todd.
"I'll never forget that cold stare."
Mike the Coffeehouse Guy
[ranking: 1]
"I knew a guy named Mike who ran a coffeehouse. It was a pretty hip place, kinda beatnik, live music, poetry readings, open mic nights. But something about him was just a little bit off. He stared at you too long when making eye contact, girls all hated him and were completely creeped out by him. He had long hair, a beard, and drove a van. Just kinda generally creepy.
"His favorite jokes were of the 'Whatcha doing later, Mike?' 'Cutting up hookers and shoving them in dumpsters' vein of humor.
"After about a year, he sold the coffeehouse to a friend, and I ended up managing it. Business picked up pretty quick after word got out that Mike wasn't around anymore. The place was really starting to turn a profit, everything was going great. Then he started hanging out every now and then, and being extra creepy. Leering at teenage girls, and just kinda being generally inappropriate. I asked him not to come back, and it got kinda ugly.
"Fast forward about four years, and I'm sitting on my couch, watching TV. The local news comes on, and his face pops up on screen. He had been arrested for raping and torturing three separate women. He was found behind a shopping center with a woman shackled in the back of his van, and he had been driving around all night tazering and raping her. He's currently serving three consecutive life sentences."
Real-Life Gorton's Fisherman
[ranking: 10]
"When I was 12, my mom took me to San Francisco for a day. We were on some pier, and my mom left me alone as she went to the bathroom. A homeless man who looked exactly like the Gorton's Fisherman walked up to me with a bottle in hand. He gruffly grumbled, 'Eh, you're a little old for me, but you'll do...'"
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