Random Stories about Vegans Who Went Too Far (16 items)

• (#1) This Vegan Doesn't Even Want To See The Word Bacon

  A woman comes into my work planning to get a vegetarian sandwich. On the provided bag (as on every bag) you get the choice to add bacon, which is too much for her to handle. She starts ranting about "how could you even suggest that bacon could go on a vegetarian sandwich? I'm a vegan and bacon is terrible."

  The resulting conversation follows:

  Her: "You shouldn't be allowed to put bacon on a vegetarian sandwich!"

  Me: "Ma'am, we're not going to change our bags just for you."

  Her: "I don't like your tone! Get me your manager."

  Me: "I'm the closest thing to a manager we have right now." (I'm like, assistant manager and the owner is out of state)

  Her: "I don't believe you!" and continues to rant. 

  Me: "If you think that our bags are so terrible, then you're welcome to leave the store. We don't need your business and we don't need you coming around when there are other customers and disturbing them while they are trying to eat."

  Her: "I'm going to get my friends and we're going to boycott this place!"

  Me: "Go ahead, ma'am. This is private property and I have every right to force you to leave."

  And she storms out angrily, never to be seen here again. I hope she chokes on a carrot."
• (#2) That's One Way To Get Out Of Class

  During school, a classmate is explaining her vegan lifestyle to our class. I ask why do you do it, she responds by asking if I drink milk. I say yes, which sets her off and leads to her saying things like "Don't you know milk actually decreases calcium in your body?" and proceeds to yell for a few minutes before she just storms out the room.
• (#3) TFW Your Mom Takes You To A Chicken Death Camp

  My mom is very health conscious and it eventually led our family to be vegan. When in kindergarten, she was also my teacher and planned a class trip for our 30+ classmates. She excitedly told us how there were going to be chickens there. Cute, feathered chickens.

  Shortly after we arrive at the farm we all detect the undeniable stench of death. Unlike what my mom anticipated, this is not an egg farm with adorable chickens in clean, cute cages. It is actually a chicken death factory, all this poultry packed into cages so tight, many of them are dead while others just trample over each other, all just waiting to die.

  Needless to say, the entire class (myself included) freaks the f*ck out. Screaming ensues, along with crying. Oh, and vomitng.
• (#4) You've Changed

  My spouse is vegan, and I'm vegan most of the time. But, on the occasions when I eat meat, my spouse treats me differently, getting short, refusing kisses, and acting cold towards me.
• (#5) Never Date A Vegan

  Having vegan friends who act like reasonable and normal individuals, I suspected nothing wrong with going on a date with another girl who also happened to be vegan. Big mistake.

  We decide to meet at a "really cool and hip restaurant" that she wanted to try. Please note she has never looked at the menu, and this will be important. While I propose the two of us go to a favorite Indian restaurant where many dishes are vegan, she insists on the place she wanted. I am told the menu is awesome, so I check it out and conclude and that it looks good.

  We meet at the bar and the place is packed. Someone previously sat in the spot I currently occupy, and the empty glass sits there for awhile. Naturally the bartenders assume it's mine. There must be at least 75 people crowded around the bar, so I think nothing of it. I've worked in food service, and seeing only two bartenders for over 70 people, I shrug it off and wait patiently. As her and I talk, she stops mid-sentence and asks,

  "Are you Mormon?"

  Me: "Um, no."

  Her: "Why aren't you drinking?"

  Me: "Because it's busy and the bartender hasn't asked me what I wanted yet."

  Her: "Well, I went on a date with a Mormon and he didn't drink, and it was awkward. You should drink so it's not awkward.

  Me: "Um, okay."

  The conversation goes downhill. Though she apparently works in the same profession as me, she knows absolutely nothing about it. All her questions come totally out of left field, and anything I say is met with a skeptical and questioning tone. I chalk it up to nerves on her part.

  Our table is eventually called, and we sit down. Lo and behold, she can't eat most of the menu. As a sushi place, the options for vegan entrees is slim, which makes her wicked pissed. For the next half-hour to forty-five minutes she debates as to what to get. I feel up for something different, and decide to try some of the tempura stuff, namely a couple of the vegetarian tempura dishes. She doesn't like this.

  Her: "Why are you ordering that?"

  Me: "Because I feel like something different. I don't want to get the same old, same old."

  Her: "Why? Do you think you're going to insult me? No, order something with meat."

  Me: "No, I want to try something different."

  The conversation continues downward from there. She learns I'm asthmatic, and then begins to tell me how her best friend cured her asthma. The cure? Swearing off meat and dairy. Then every five minutes she goes off about how awkward the date is and/or has a negative opinion or comment to everything I say. I try to remain positive and lighten the mood figuring she is nervous, but it never works out. As we get the check I decide to pay, because on a first date that's what I do, I like to do it. She then begins to berate me for doing it, why she is allowed to pay, etc. Since I know the night is a wash and I just want to go home, I simply do it to piss her off. As we part ways I am left with "This was the most awkward date ever." 

  Yes lady, yes it was.
• (#6) The First Mistake Was Going To The Warped Tour

  The setting is the Vans Warped Tour 2007 in Dallas. Boyfriend and I discover we can get backstage passes if we sign up on the bone marrow donor list, so we do.

  We get our wristbands and we begin wandering around behind the stages and the trailers and whatnot. Some security guy comes up to us to ask if we would like to meet some of the bands, to which we say "F**k yeah!"  

  We follow him into a building where there are other "back stagers." They inform us that we get to serve the bands their dinner!

  So we stay and are each put in charge of different items. My station is corn-on-the-cob, which also requires me to butter said corn using either regular butter and vegan butter depending on the person's preference. 

  Turns out there are a lot of vegan band members, many I don't recognize. Some of them, like Howard Jones of Killswitch Engage and Haley Williams from Paramore, are incredibly nice to us. There were others though, that bitched if I gave them 'too much butter' on their corn. Others, however, just pass by and ignore me flat out when I ask them nicely if they want some corn. Some guy comes back and actually throws the corn down and says "that butter is nasty," as if I churned it myself. I never actually tried the vegan butter, but I'm guessing it was bad?
• (#7) Someone's Never Had To Buy Groceries

  My friend goes into my fridge and literally throws away all my meat, but I'm not sure if veganism or simple craziness is to blame for this
• (#8) What Doesn't Give You Cancer?

  I get into a mildly heated discussion with a lady friend about whether or not milk gives you cancer. When I ask her what she believe the mechanism might be, why it differs from human milk, she simply says "I don't know I just think it does."
• (#9) Is This Veganism Considered Child Abuse?

  I grew up vegan, and my family educated us diligently us about veganism. My dad showed us candid videos of slaughterhouses with animals hanging by their ankles as their blood pooled to fast to drain. Making a nine and seven-year-old watch this stuff? That was pretty crappy.

  I still can't eat meat.
• (#10) There's Nothing Worse Than A Disseminator Of False Vegan Information

  So one of my girlfriends is vegan, and she always tries to spread rumors or make me believe myths about animal products. 

  Today, for example, she tries to convince me that cow's milk has puss in it. I promptly search this on Google, and lo and behold, it's not true. In fact, everywhere I look said that whoever tells you such myths only tells you to stop you from drinking milk.

  Though I never, ever judge her on what she eats, she constantly attempts to "convert" me into a vegan. She tells me meat causes cancer, milk has puss, eggs are extremely unhealthy, a full laundry-list of facts that may or may not be real. I understand her passion for avoiding animal products, but it feels like I'm the atheist and she is the cherry-picker Christian.

  How can I get her to stop? Whenever I tell her what she says is false, even if I send a link to a website debunking the myth, she gets rude and gives me attitude. This is the most annoying thing I have had to deal with, ever.
• (#11) Not A Level-Three Vegan

  I have a very alternative, kind of pretentious vegan friend who is very strict and "moral" in his food choices, consuming only vegan chips/crisps and beer and definitely not eating eggs because the industry is so terrible and what not. 

  However, he would not flinch an eye at killing and eating fish or insects or other "lower" beings because allegedly "they can't feel pain." Personally I find this drawing-a-line-here to be incredibly hypocritical because either you value life or you don't. Just because you think a fish doesn't have an evolved-enough nerve system to "feel pain" doesn't make it OK to kill them.

  It was a good day when I found out, real vegans don't actually eat fish.
• (#12) One More Reason To Avoid Your High School Reunion

  I am attending a high school reunion, and an old schoolmate begins telling us about her job as a waitress at a high-end restaurant. She gets a bit graphic detailing how the chef kills multiple lobsters, and my vegan friend who is listening with me puts her fingers in her ears!

  I'm also a vegan but I found this incredibly rude and thought it sent out a message that vegans are antisocial extremists, which Iguess might be the case with my friend.
• (#13) There's Nothing Worse Than Hypocritical Vegans

  I became vegetarian last summer, and went full vegan on January 1st this year. As a heads up, Veganuary really provides the needed push into a full transition. My brother also became vegetarian and went mostly vegan when he married his wife, who has been vegan for years (most of her life, I think), so I got excited to have something to connect with them over.

  But I know now they're just vegetarian, even eating fish and chicken sometimes. These are the people who made me feel like a monster for eating meat, and pushed me to not eat dairy or eggs because it was inhumane. They, mostly my sister-in-law, would berate me for calling myself an animal lover when I contributed to animal suffering, and now the f*cking hypocrites contribute to animal suffering themselves.

  Am I wrong to be horribly pissed that they did this? It would be different if they'd been chill about being vegan, but they were awful.
• (#14) Stop Checking Facebook

  This is her latest status:

  "Super pissed at all of you guys who are horrified at the possibility of animal testing for party pills but contribute to animal testing on a daily basis. Come on guys."

  How can I respond to not be completely rude but put her down?
• (#15) Big Boss With The Big Rules

  I work in an office that is considered "vegan." The owner of my company is a huge animal rights activist and detests the eating of meat on company property, so much so that we eat outside or in our cars if we have meat or animal products. We all follow this pretty regularly and I admit that eating vegan does have some dietary advantages about being healthy. Sometimes I'll even buy vegan burritos and such from the taqueria close by and they are delicious!

  However.

  What really bugs me is that when he's not around we all eat meat like normal, me, my coworkers, even my boss. The unwritten rule sort of stands that we just don't eat it when he's around. The problem with this is the owner shows up unannounced maybe once a week or so and often catches me eating animal products. Every time I'm caught he lectures me on how I should respect the company's decision to be vegan and all that jazz.

  To make this clear, I have no issue with veganism, but it is not a choice in life I have made that I want to follow 24/7.

  What can I say to him that isn't rude but allows me to express myself that I should not have to follow his dietary restrictions? I sometimes feel that he pushes vegan on us like it's a religion; my coworkers and boss even joke around with it. After working here for close to a year, it now just bothers me that he does this. I signed nothing saying I would follow these dietary habits and such restrictions weren't mandated as part of my hiring.
• (#16) Just Eat Your Grandma's Soup

  My friend always tells me how she hates her parents, how they annoy her, how she can't wait to be on her own, move out, get her own place, etc. She says she wants to go to beauty school. I tell her that it isn't a very good choice, but to each their own.

  She tries to be vegan, and at the very least, vegetarian. While currently on vacation with family, and she messages me all the time about something they do to annoy her. Her grandma makes her turkey soup, to which she says she doesn't eat meat. Her grandma insists that she eat it, and it pisses her off. Apparently her grandma "isn't respecting me, so I won't treat her with respect." 

  Now this hurts. My grandparents on my father's side both passed away, and I loved them. My grandpa on my mom's side passed, and he was like my second dad; meanwhile, my grandma on my mom's side suffers from Parkinson's disease. Needless to say, my grandparents are extremely important to me.

  And now my whiny friend complains about her grandma, using veganism as an excuse, and it both infuriates me and breaks my heart. She has complained for the past week about her cousins, their parents, people not accepting her choices, when really, they are just worrying about her not eating. In each interaction she relays or sends to me via text, I see general concern, but she twists it into them being rude and stuck-up.

  I know it's her life and none of my business, but it hurts me that uses being vegan to disrespect those closest to her.

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