Random People Reveal Secrets They Learned After Years Of Dating That Changed Everything (21 items)

• (#1) She Found Out Her Boyfriend Had A Child

  From Redditor /u/rtyjj:

  About one year in he told me he was about to get full custody of his son. I didn't know he had a son.
• (#2) A Worried Girlfriend Found Out Her Boyfriend Got Married Over The Weekend

  From Redditor /u/Faeula:

  One weekend we were supposed to go out on a date and he stood me up. I couldn't get ahold of him at all. I was freaking out thinking he was dying in a ditch somewhere! 

  Turns out he had gotten married over the weekend to the girl who had given birth to his child. I never knew about them.
• (#3) Her Husband Adhered To Outdated Gender Roles

  From Redditor /u/superslakher:

  Out of nowhere, a year into being married, he said he wanted to join the Marine Corps. He also wanted me to drop out of law school, birth babies, take care of his mother, and a run a household all while he was deployed. Hard pass.
• (#4) She Had Multiple STDs

  From Redditor /u/Notasupervillan:

  A year in I found out she lied to [me] about getting an STD test. Turned out she had more than one STD, which somehow I tested clean for.
• (#5) He Tried To Frame His Wife For Murder

  From Redditor /u/1ofZuulsMinions:

  That my husband wanted to start fires and kill police officers, and was planning on framing me for it so his girlfriend could move in while I did his time in prison for him.
• (#6) He Was Overbearing During Pregnancy And Completely Absent As A Father

  From Redditor /u/rusty0123:

  When I had my first child. The pregnancy wasn't a surprise or an accident. We talked and planned. He got a little overbearing during the pregnancy, like insisting on breastfeeding without even discussing it with me. I put it down to new dad nerves, not knowing any better. 

  Turns out that was only the tip of the iceberg. He believed that children were completely and totally a wife's responsibility. He wouldn't change a diaper. He wouldn't pick up the baby when it cried. No way would he get up in the middle of the night. He expected me to work a full-time job, plus do all the childcare. 

  At that point, I was confused and appalled but I told myself he just needed time to adjust. 

  I realized how delusional I was when the baby got sick while he was on a fishing trip. The doctors thought baby had meningitis. So not just sick, but life-threatening sick. I called and asked him to come home. He refused. He'd paid for two more days of fishing. He didn't want to lose the money.
• (#7) This Man Suspects He Was A Victim Of Gaslighting

  From Redditor /u/deruvoo:

  She would lie about tiny, inconsequential things. Made me question my own perception of truth and self-instinct. Eventually caught her in a lie, and she denied even when presented with full proof. It wasn't something huge, but it was something that opened my eyes a little. My friend swears I was being gaslighted.
• (#8) Her Husband Was Addicted To Meth

  From Redditor /u/Misanthrope_penguin:

  That he was doing meth up until after our first son was born. Found this out after we were divorced though.
• (#9) He Always Blamed Her For His Problems

  From Redditor /u/NotoriousTNT:

  I realized he would always blame me for his angry outbursts and mistakes - he punched a wall and screamed about a homework assignment he didn't understand because I was sitting on the couch quietly. Then after he was finished blaming me and realized I was upset, he became all sad and wanted me to comfort him.

  What a pathetic human being. I'm glad I've grown past accepting that sort of behavior.
• (#10) Her Boyfriend Completely Ghosted Her And Married His Other Girlfriend

  From Redditor /u/mountlane:

  Guy was in the military, in town for a long training program. He wasn't re-stationed, but it was still a relatively long-term stay. Told me he loved me, wanted to marry me, would do long distance until I graduated college (I was a sophomore or junior at the time), and insisted on meeting my parents. Then just disappeared, didn't return my calls, just fell off the face of the Earth. On his off days he liked to explore the area. For all I knew, he'd decided to go swimming in a canal, thinking it was shallower and slower moving than they really are, and drowned. One of his buddies I was on good terms with called to say goodbye. That was my only indication that training was over and they were leaving.

  A couple months later, I found out the guy I was dating had married his girlfriend he'd left back at his official duty station.
• (#11) Turns Out She Was Terrible At Money Management

  From Redditor /u/BannedForTypingTruth:

  She and her second spouse declared bankruptcy. She convinced me that her partner was all to blame and she knew how to manage money. She nagged me until I gave her control of the bank accounts. When I found out about the second part, they had racked up $40,000 in unnecessary credit card debt. Together we made about $80K/year so we should not have been hurting.

  For the second part, my darling loving spouse started watching those true crime dramas. For the sole purpose of learning what real criminals did and how they got caught so they [wouldn't make] the same mistake. Because they [were] going to use this information to not get caught when they [killed] me. 

  I found this out [after] she took $45,000 from my inheritance to pay her debt and as she ran out the door to go find another victim. I couldn't sign the papers fast enough. She did leave me a whole $5,000 to pay off my debt and take care of the house. So generous.
• (#12) She Wanted To Stab Him

  From Redditor /u/Lenlark:

  Today my girlfriend told me that every time we argue she wants to stab me.
• (#13) He Lied About His Degree

  From Redditor /u/murderousbudgie:

  He lied about where he went to undergrad. I suspected it while the relationship was still going on, but after he moved out I found some of the stuff he left that included transcripts from a different university than he'd claimed. It wasn't even in the same country. I'm fairly sure most of the stories he told about his childhood were lies.
• (#14) She Gave Him An STD

  From Redditor /u/darkmagi724:

  That she had been in contact with her exes, met them and regularly cheated on me with just whomever. Eight years, she was really good at hiding her tracks. I only found out because I contracted an STD (curable, fortunately) from her. 

  I was really glad we didn't have kids and divorced her, moved away, and drank too much. Then I met the most awesome person in the world whom I married and had kids. I didn't know relationships could be this good.
• (#15) Lack Of Equality Was The Last Straw

  From Redditor /u/Arya_kidding_me:

  He hid a few Xanax addictions/withdrawals - forgave him.

  He stole $4,000 from our joint savings that only I contributed to - forgave him.

  He sexted and was trying to meet up with randoms, which made me realize I should probably leave.

  But the thing that made me certain was when I realized he didn’t actually want an equal relationship. He expected me to shop, cook, clean, and be responsible for him for the rest of our lives. He pretended to want what I wanted for years, and I was dumb enough to believe his excuses on why he just couldn’t do it yet. 

  I demand and deserve a reasonably equal relationship! Divorce was one of the best things I ever did.
• (#16) She's Paranoid

  From Redditor /u/Spikito1:

  That she wants to have fights and be mad. For example, we currently haven’t spoken for three days and she's sleeping in the other room because I accidentally texted "good night, sleep tight," instead of just "good night," because I was the one going to bed, not her.

  So in her mind, that text must have been meant for another woman. We live together, we work together, we share a car. How on God’s green Earth could I have a side chick?
• (#17) She Was The Other Woman

  From Redditor /u/misdolnurs2517:

  One year in: ound out his ex-girlfriend was actually still his girlfriend. We broke up with him together and became great friends.
• (#18) Her Family Had A History Of Cancer

  From Redditor /u/Rotit1230:

  A little over a year after being officially together I finally put together that they had the cancer gene in their family. Despite being crazy in love with her, this made me want to back out (because I totally saw a future with her). Her grandpa and dad both had head and neck cancers, two aunts and one uncle were survivors of ovarian and lung cancer. I knew I wanted kids and she did too, so there was always this looming fear that our future kids might get it. Still went through because she mattered more to me than all my fears combined. Life plays a cruel joke and despite having no vices and being an occasional drinker, she got the big C as well. Head and neck just like grandpa and her dad. Lost her a little over a year ago. Still, no regrets. Still love her a lot.
• (#19) He Found Out She Was A Gold Digger 

  From Redditor /u/hopeyesperanza:

  Former SO: After sex she asked me once, "Baby, how much money do we get when your parents die?"
• (#20) She Regularly Flipped Out On Their Children

  From Redditor /u/CitrusCBR:

  She is perfectly okay flipping out on the kids. I mean full on cussing them out and yelling about stuff. I ultimately confronted her about it and she said, "So everyone else is allowed to express themselves when they're upset, but not me?" 

  We had to have a looooooooooooong talk after that one.
• (#21) She Was Rude To A Service Worker

  From Redditor /u/poridgepants:

  I was just out of high school and was dating a girl. We were fairly serious but young. We went to Subway for lunch and she was super rude to the poor girl working behind the counter and after we left she was saying how stupid she was, couldn't even make the sandwich right. I started to notice she was rude to lots of service and retail workers. I saw her in a much different light after that. We didn't last too long.

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