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(#1) Here's My Christmas Speech
Fozziwig: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all and Merry Christmas."
Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
Robert Marley: It was dumb!
Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
Robert Marley: It was pointless!
Jacob Marley: It was... short!
Jacob Marley, Robert Marley: I loved it!
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(#2) It's Gotten Colder
Kermit the Frog: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?
Rat #1: We can't do the bookkeeping. All our pens have turned to inkcicles!
Rat #2: Our assets are frozen!
Ebenezer Scrooge: How would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?
Rats (singing): HEATWAVE. This is my island in the sun...
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(#3) Eviction Notices
Ebenezer Scrooge: Let us deal with the eviction notices for tomorrow, Mr. Cratchit.
Kermit the Frog: Uh, tomorrow's Christmas, sir.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Very well. You may gift wrap them.
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(#4) Kids in the Audience
Rizzo the Rat: Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?
Gonzo: Nah, it's all right. This is culture!
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(#5) Never Eat Singing Food
Rizzo the Rat: Mother always taught me, "Never eat singing food."
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(#6) My Name is Charles Dickens
Gonzo: My name is Charles Dickens.
Rizzo the Rat: And my name is Rizzo the Rat... wait a second! You're not Charles Dickens!
Gonzo: I am too!
Rizzo the Rat: No! A blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?
Gonzo: Absolutely!
Rizzo the Rat: Charles Dickens was a 19th Century novelist! A genius!
Gonzo: Oh, you are too kind!
Rizzo the Rat: Why should I believe you?
Gonzo: Well, because I know the story of A Christmas Carol like the back of my hand!
Rizzo the Rat: Prove it!
Gonzo: All right! Um, there's a little mole on my thumb, and um, a scar on my wrist from when I fell off my bike...
Rizzo the Rat: No, no, no, don't tell us your hand, tell us the story!
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(#7) You're Poor Enough
Ebenezer Scrooge: What right have you to be merry? You're poor enough.
Fred: What right have you to be dismal? You're rich enough.
Rizzo the Rat: He's got him there. The old boy's speechless!
Ebenezer Scrooge: If I could work my will, every idiot who goes around with "a Merry Christmas" on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!
Rizzo the Rat: Well, not quite speechless.
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(#8) Raise Your Salary
Ebenezer Scrooge: Bob Cratchit, I've had my fill of this.
Miss Piggy: And I have had my fill of you, Mr. Scrooge.
Ebenezer Scrooge: And therefore, Bob Cratchit...
Miss Piggy: And therefore, you can leave this house at once.
Ebenezer Scrooge: And therefore, I'm about to raise your salary!
Miss Piggy: Ooh, and I am about to raise you right off the pavement... Pardon?
Kermit the Frog: Pardon?
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(#9) Meetings and Partings
Kermit the Frog: It's all right, children. Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. I am sure that we shall never forget Tiny Tim, or this first parting that there was among us.
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(#10) Work Hard, Lad
Sam the Eagle: Work hard, lad, and one day, your life will be as solid as this very building!
[The shelf collapses behind him]
Sam the Eagle: Huh. I've been meaning to fix that shelf.
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(#11) Three Spirits
Robert Marley: You will be haunted by three spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Haunted? I've already had enough of that.
Jacob Marley: Without these visits, you cannot hope to avoid the path we tread.
Robert Marley: Expect the first ghost tonight, when the bell tolls one!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?
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(#12) Absent-Minded
Ebenezer Scrooge: You're a little absent-minded, spirit.
Ghost of Christmas Present: No, I'm a large absent-minded spirit!
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(#13) Love Is Gone
Belle (singing): There was a time when I was sure, that you and I were truly one; that our future was forever and would never come undone. And we came so close to being close, and though you cared for me, there's distance in your eyes tonight, so we're not meant to be. The love is gone. The love is gone. The sweetest dream that you have ever known. The love is gone. The love is gone. I wish you well, but I must leave you now alone. There comes a moment in your life like a window and you see your future there before you, and how perfect life can be. But adventure calls with unknown voices pulling you away. Be careful or you may regret the choice you make someday, when love is gone. When love is gone. The sweetest dream that we have ever known, when love is gone. When love is gone. I wish you well, but I must leave you now alone.
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(#14) Two Things in This Life I Hate
Rizzo the Rat: There are two things in this life I hate, heights and jumping from them.
Gonzo: Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you.
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(#15) I'm Being Stolen
Vegetable: Hey, I'm being stolen! Hey, help me! Help me!
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About This Tool
The Muppet Christmas Carol is a comedy directed by Brian Hansen, which is based on a novel written by Charles Dickens. The movie tells the story of the miser Scrooge who runs a treasury. One day, the ghost of his dead business partner Jacob appeared and changed everything about him. Although this old black-and-white movie released in 1992 does not have exquisite pictures, it funny and the ironic plots and dialogues are impressive.
Maybe this is not the best version of Charles Dickens’ books, but Muppet Christmas Carol is fun enough to provide a good introduction to the story for young audiences. The random tool lists 15 hilarious quotes from the Muppet Christmas Carol.
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