Random TV Husbands Are Total Pieces Of Crap (11 items)

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  (#1) Tom Scavo

  • Desperate Housewives

  Underneath his handsome, charming veneer, Tom Scavo is literally the worst. Due to societal pressure to have children, he uses guilt, manipulation, and constant begging to convince his wife, Lynette, to bear his kids, even though she never wanted any. This forces her to put her treasured career on hold while Tom goes out into the world and pursues his selfish dreams. Over the years, Tom forces Lynette to weather drunken escapades, a mid-life crisis, incessant begging, and countless bad jokes. 
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  (#2) Jefferson D'Arcy

  • Married... with Children

  Another paragon of sh*ttiness from Married... With Children, Jefferson D'Arcy is the no-good parasite living off Marcy Bundy's money after she divorces her husband. Jefferson never puts any real effort into making money, convincing himself that his duties in bed with Marcy are enough to get him by. Oh, and he's the reason Marcy has to change her name to Marcy D'Arcy. For that, he should be held accountable. 
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  (#3) Doug Heffernan

  • The King of Queens

  By all accounts, Doug Hefferman in The King of Queens is a childish slacker. It's a widely accepted fact that his wife, Carrie, is a saint. But this show actually glosses over quite a bit of terribleness. Doug isn't just a slacker - he is also a liar and a cheater, and he doesn't even look good in a UPS truck driver uniform. Plus, whenever Doug does anything romantic, it is just so he can get something in return. For example, he takes his wife to a luxury spa, just so he could go on a weekend trip to Vegas. 
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  (#4) Al Bundy

  • Married... with Children

  Shoe salesman Al Bundy in Married... With Children gets by on his wit and loyalty, but man, does he have a lot to compensate for. At turns lazy, hateful, drunk, and uncivilized, Bundy makes life hell for wife Peggy, whom he at least partially blames for his failure to attend college. He is also so misanthropic that when his neighbors think he had died, they take to the streets to sing, "Ding Dong, the shoe man's dead." 
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  (#5) Norm Peterson

  • Cheers

  Everyone loves Norm, but that makes it easy to forget he is actually avoiding his wife whenever he is at the bar. While you only meet his wife once, when Cliff accidentally throws a pie at her face, it's not hard to imagine how miserable she must be with an absent, drunken husband. 
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  (#6) Jim - According To Jim

  Hopefully, the real-life Jim Belushi isn't this awful to people. Another variation on the "lazy, lying, cheater" trope, Jim spends most of his time getting his family into sh*t because of his own lazy attempts at making money. He also frequently goes behind his wife's back, like in the show's very first episode where he changes his daughter's school without telling her. 
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  (#7) Ray Barone

  • Everybody Loves Raymond

  Ray is rarely at home to spend quality time with his family. He is not only a terrible father, but he is always going out with Gianni and playing golf. He has a foul mouth and a negative outlook. The times that he is at home, Ray is too self-absorbed to notice anything but himself.
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  (#8) Will Schuester

  • Glee, Glee Encore, Glee Universe

  Will is a beloved, supportive teacher and a progressive presence in a community that desperately needs it. However, he has no business getting married. He invests so much time in his role as Glee Club leader that he never makes enough money or frees up enough time to connect with his wife. Thankfully, his second wife, Emma, is more supportive of his dreams, but Will's own ambition definitely gets in the way a few times.
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  (#9) Criss Chros - 30 Rock

  Liz Lemon dates a lot of helpless men over the course of 30 Rock. Who could forget Jon Hamm's character and The Bubble? But Criss Chros might take the cake for "most ineffectual Lemon life partner." Witless, lazy, underemployed, and exceedingly handsome, Criss is pretty useless outside of his role to being the sweetener to Liz's lemonade. He is a boy toy through and through. But, to give him a little credit, at least he doesn't exploit that advantage too much. 
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  (#10) Fred Flintstone

  • The Flintstones, The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones, The Flintstones, The New Alice in Wonderland, I Yabba-Dabba Do!, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Under the Boardwalk: The Monopoly Story, Bedrock

  The Flinstones was a product of its era, so it smoothed over the inherent sexism of its premise by making Fred Flinstone an overall likeable cartoon dad. That being said, Fred is lazy, loud, and offensive, and he probably never takes a shower. He is literally a troglodyte. Even when he shows promise of improving his family's situation by winning a golf trophy, he loses it because he owes Barney money. Oh, and he is terrible with home repairs.
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  (#11) Tim Taylor

  • Home Improvement

  Tim Taylor is hard-working in his chosen profession, but he could have been more successful if it wasn't for his self-serving views. He spends so much time keeping his wife down and ranting about upholding American values that he rarely seems to improve his own lot in life. He only ever does the "right" thing if he is able to chat with his faceless neighbor, Wilson, who may actually be a deity sent to prevent Tim from turning into a complete *sshole. 

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