Random Surprising Facts About Orthodox Jewish Sex Lives & Beliefs (12 items)

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  (#1) They Are Encouraged to Have Good Sex

  When done properly, Jews consider sex to be a mitzvah, or a righteous act. Far from being considered sinful or shameful, sex within a healthy marriage is thought of as intimate and loving. 

  For this reason, spouses can never compel one another to have sex against their wishes, or use either sex or the withholding of sex as a threat or punishment. Couples also shouldn't have sex when they are angry, or when one or both partners is intoxicated or otherwise unable to consent. 

  However, for more conservative Jews, sex is still strictly off-limits outside of marriage, and even mild physical contact between unmarried young people is strongly discouraged.
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  (#2) Male Masturbation and Homosexuality Are Banned

  The Talmud prohibits men from "wasting their seed;" that is, performing sex acts where semen isn't being used to potentially create new life. In the most extreme versions, some rabbis have argued that wasting semen is as bad as killing a child, since you are preventing that child from being born.

  For this reason, conservative Judaism outlaws male masturbation and male homosexuality. Other sex acts, like oral and anal intercourse for men, are permitted as a form of foreplay, but the male partner must always ejaculate into this partner's vagina.

  (Female masturbation, by contrast, is not explicitly forbidden by the Torah, though some rabbis discourage it. The Torah is also silent on the topic of lesbianism.)
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  (#3) You Must Satisfy Your Wife Every Day - Unless You're a Camel Driver

  A Jewish husband has an obligation to provide his wife regular, fulfilling sexual intercourse. The exact amount of sex she can expect varies depending on his occupation. "Men of leisure" should be available to have sex with their wives every day; for laborers, it's twice a week. Camel drivers (the Biblical equivalent of long-haul truckers) were away from home more often, so their sexual obligation was only once every 30 days, or once every six months for sailors.
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  (#4) The Woman Must Come First

  A husband has an obligation to satisfy his wife sexually, through whatever means she requests, including oral sex or the use of sex toys. Not only does this lead to happier marriages, but traditionally, it was thought that letting a wife orgasm first would make her more likely to conceive a son.

  
  
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  (#5) Sex Isn't Just for Having Babies and Birth Control Is Sometimes Allowed

  Even though Judaism is concerned with not wasting semen that could be used for conception, that doesn't mean that sex is only for having babies. The primary purpose of sex, according to traditional Jewish teachings, is to strengthen the bond between husband and wife. Therefore, procreation is not the only reason to have sex. 

  Since sex is primarily meant for intimacy and companionship, Jewish law allows and even encourages sex during times when a couple cannot conceive - for example, when a woman is infertile, after menopause, or when she is already pregnant.

  Birth control is also permissible in some cases. Jewish couples have a duty to have children (ideally one boy and one girl), but as long as they do so eventually, they can use birth control some of the time. The pill or IUD is the method of choice for most Jewish ladies, since things like condoms and diaphragms are sometimes considered another form of wasting semen.
  
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  (#6) Hands Off Menstruating Women

  When a woman is menstruating, men are to stay clear of her. Menstruating women are considered impure, and cannot be touched at all. For instance, if an Orthodox Jewish man is handing his wife the mail, he will likely set it down for her to pick up so he doesn't risk accidentally touching her hand. This strict separation lasts the entire duration of the woman's period AND the week following.

  While this may seem harsh, some Jewish feminists say this restriction provides some benefit to women. A time without sex, they argue, allows a couple a "break" to stoke desire and to focus on the non-sexual components of their relationship, and some Jews argue there may be health and fertility benefits to abstaining from sex during certain times in a woman's cycle.
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  (#7) Kinky Sex Is Fine - Just No Group Stuff

  Bondage between a Jewish man and woman is generally considered just fine - provided they are married, of course. As long as both the man and woman are open, interested, and down to be pinned down, there is no reason they can't try almost any type of kinky sex. The exception? Group sex, partner swapping, or polyamory - kink has to be kept within the bounds of monogamous married couples.
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  (#8) There's No Hole in the Sheet

  Consider this rumor debunked. Jewish men do not have sex through a hole in a sheet.

  A tallit katan is a large, white garment that looks somewhat like a poncho, that Orthodox Jewish men sometimes wear. Many people think the whole "hole in the sheet" sex theory stems from non-Jews seeing this white, sheet-like garment being hung outside to dry and assuming it was for sex. Of course, the hole in the sheet is also huge, since a man's head is meant to fit through it.

  In fact, Orthodox Judaism encourages men and women to sleep together naked, and to have sex naked, in order to increase intimacy.
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  (#9) Hair Is for Husbands Only

  Orthodox Jewish men and women dress very modestly. Both sexes are encouraged to wear clothing that doesn't call attention to the wearer's appearance, including clothing that is tight, revealing, brightly colored, or garish. 

  Women are encouraged to wear long skirts and to cover their hair with a hat or scarf. Many Orthodox women also wear wigs over their natural hair - this way, the beauty of their real hair is enjoyed only by their husbands in private.

  Jewish laws concerning modesty (called tzniut) also prohibit wearing clothes associated with the other sex - for example, men are not supposed to wear dresses or other women's garments.
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  (#10) No Dancing Allowed, Ever

  A lot of surprisingly kinky things are permitted in Jewish sexual life - however, dancing is not one of them. Not even a first dance as husband and wife! Men are to dance with men, and women are to dance with women. There is even a long-running rabbinical joke, "Don't have sex standing up... it may lead to dancing."
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  (#11) Only Marry Someone You Find Attractive

  Jewish law emphasizes the necessity of being sexually attracted to your partner. Even though Orthodox Jews may take part in arranged marriages, the bride and groom are required to meet in person at least once before marrying, and if either partner is not physically attracted to the other, the marriage will be called off.
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  (#12) The Holy Day Is for Getting Down

  Ah, the Sabbath. A nice relaxing day to connect with God and your sexual partner.

  Orthodox Jews have very strict Sabbath rules that prevent them from doing everything from to turning on the radio to mowing the lawn, but since having sex within a marriage is a mitzvah, it is looked highly upon on the holy day! Plus, it helps spread the Jewish seed, one of the primary preoccupations of the Torah.

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