Random Reasons Christmas Is Actually A Far More Horrifying Holiday Than Halloween (12 items)

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  (#1) Absolutely Everything About Santa's Pal Krampus

  If you grew up celebrating the American version of Christmas, you almost certainly know the tale of Saint Nick, but you might not have been subjected to some of his more questionable friends. 

  Chief among Santa's entourage of shady characters is Krampus, a demon with massive horns whose main job is to drag naughty children to Hell. Apparently, Santa doesn't really want to know if you've been naughty, so a few weeks before Christmas, he sends Krampus around to weed out the bad children.

  For minor offenses, Krampus might choose to simply beat the child with a bundle of sticks. If they've been especially bad however, they're tossed in his sack and brought straight to Hell.  

  FYI, Krampus begins watching you the moment you're born, as is evidenced by images of the demon taking flocks of presumably naughty infants away to some horrid fate. 
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  (#2) The Yule Lads Are Coming To Rob Your House

  Another terrifying Christmas legend comes from the country of Iceland, though this one was so horrific that the government eventually banned parents from telling their children the tale. 

  In the days leading up to Christmas, the Yule Lads were said to appear for the sole purpose of making children's lives more difficult. The descendants of monsters, each of these 13 creatures had a unique method for wreaking havoc. One might steal milk and farm animals, whereas another would remove all light sources from a room, leaving traumatized children in total darkness. 

  As unsettling as the Yule Lads were, the group's pet was infinitely worse. The Lads were followed around by a ferocious cat whose diet consisted entirely of children. Unlike Krampus, this cat doesn't care if you've been naughty or nice, it's hungry for whatever it can get its teeth on. 
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  (#3) The Nutcracker Is About A Child Lost In Another World

  Most people have seen some version of The Nutcracker. However, many are not aware that this beloved holiday staple was written and based on E.T.A. Hoffmann’s 1816 fairy tale.

  In the fairy tale, a young girl named Marie falls in love with the Nutcracker Prince, who she can only see come to life when she's asleep. During a battle between the Nutcracker Prince and the Mouse King, Marie cuts her arm and falls into a feverish sleep. There, she gets brainwashed by the Mouse King.

  After Marie recounts this story to her family, they forbid her from speaking about her dreams. Nonetheless, Marie's faithful love for the Nutcracker brings the ugly doll to life once again. She and the Nutcracker Prince leave Marie's world and choose instead to live in the doll kingdom.

  Basically, The Nutcracker is a story about a young girl who falls in love with a doll, then leaves her old family and life to spend her days with said doll in a world where toys are constantly warring with mice and child marriage laws apparently do not exist. Clearly, it's a wonderfully inspiring Christmas story.
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  (#4) Voyeuristic Santa Watches You When You're Awake AND Sleeping

  You've heard Bing Crosby declare it, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake." No wonder your child can't sleep, an omnipresent old man with a beard is lurking somewhere around their house or bedroom.

  The question your child is undoubtedly dying to ask is "why aren't you calling the police?" The reason your child can't articulate that question is that they have become paralyzed with fear due to your complicity in Santa's voyeurism. 
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  (#5) Sexual Predators Hide Behind Mistletoe

  Mistletoe is actually a parasitic plant. It latches onto a tree, then leeches nutrients and water from its host. Despite this, a tradition that dates back to Norse mythology declares that it's bad luck to refuse a kiss when under the Mistletoe.

  Traditionally, after a kiss, the kissers are to pluck a berry from the plant. After all of the berries were gone, the Mistletoe no longer has any power. However, today this practice is a sure recipe for a cold sore.

  Additionally, the legend inadvertently acts as a tool of perverse power, as creeps can cite the legend as justification for why they are owed kisses from those around them. In the days surrounding Christmas, you need to look up, down, left, and right to stay safe.
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  (#6) The Elf On The Shelf Is On A Reconnaissance Mission, And Reports To Santa Nightly

  The "Elf on the Shelf" is the epitome of the acceptable threats parents use to control their children. During the other 11 months of the year, parents try to reinforce positive actions, and kindly instruct their children to improve upon negative behavior patterns. Then December rolls around, and all that goes right out the window. 

  At night, the elf floats away to report on everything he witnessed,  which serves as motivation for children to behave during the daytime. Oddly enough, when the elf returns in the morning, it's usually in a bold way. A child might awaken to find him soaking in a hot tub of hot chocolate with Barbie, or having just written something on the bathroom mirror in toothpaste.

  Children are forced to laugh and appreciate the elf's obviously dualist personality. So, I guess the rule of law is to do what the elf says, not as he does, or he'll snitch to Big Brother, AKA Santa. It's kind of a mindf*ck for children.
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  (#7) Parents Allow Their Children To Sit On The Lap Of A Seasonal Mall Employee With A Beard

  Sitting on Santa's lap is consumerism's ham-fisted attempt to attract more shoppers to malls during the Christmas season (after all, you can't meet Chris Kringle while shopping on Amazon).

  Some report that the tradition goes back to 1841, when people flocked to see a life-sized Santa in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Today, the times are changing, and more parents prefer their children to just stand by Santa. However, plenty still force their kids to sit on that creep's lap.

  We've all witnessed a terrified, screaming child fighting to get off of a chubby, bearded dude's lap. Why isn't that child abuse?
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  (#8) Traditional Christmas Ghost Stories Focus On Life, Death, And Regret

  While A Christmas Carol is perhaps the most famous Christmastime ghost story in the United States, the tradition of Christmas ghost stories predates Ebenezer Scrooge and Marley's ghost. As is the case with many "Christmas" traditions, telling ghost stories around Christmastime dates back to Pagan customs. 

  Around the time of the winter solstice, the Pagan's celebrate the festival of Yule. During this period, they believed that the colder, darker days made the spirits of the dead more accessible to the living.

  This history of Pagan customs helps explain the relevancy of ghost stories to the Christian holiday, but the connection still seems odd. During the "holiest" days of the year, we scare the hell of out of children with stories like that of Ebenezer Scrooge,  a greedy loner who is forred to face ghosts that can manipulate his perception of time and space. 
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  (#9) When Santa Breaks In, Your Parents Just Offer Him Food

  During the 15th century in France, people believed that witches, fairies, and other creatures of the occult entered homes through chimneys. Washington Irvin borrowed this concept in the early 1800s when he published a satirical piece about St. Nicholas, which many believe evolved into the tradition of Santa Claus.

  It's unclear why people went from being terrified of their chimneys in the 15th century to embracing the idea of mystic breaking-and-entering in the 1800s. The chimney ends up being one of the first areas to inspire doubt in children (especially children who do not have visible fireplaces or wood stoves).

  Until that happens, kids are instructed to believe that once a year, mom and dad let a stranger breach their home, move freely about, and eat and drink as he pleases.
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  (#10) The Christian Tradition Of Twelfth Night Has Its Roots In Paganism

  Twelfth Night typically gets celebrated on the eve of the Epiphany (which usually falls 12 days after Christmas). On top of this, many families will take down their Christmas tree on, or immediately after, Twelfth Night. This all sort of links the Twelfth Night tradition to Christianity. 

  However, the Twelfth Night celebration is rooted in Pagan customs. Originally, Pagans celebrated the Yuletide festival around the time of the winter solstice (roughly December 21). When the Christian Church sought to combat Paganism by commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ with the celebration of Christmas, important Pagan events were converted to Christian analogs, and thus the Twelfth Night festival was born. 
   
  One particularly famous Pagan Twelfth Night tradition calls for a cake to be made with a bean and a pea baked inside of it. The man who discovers the bean gets crowned king, and the woman who finds the pea gets crowned queen. The king and queen take their seats at a throne and receive paper crowns, then a night of celebration ensues.

  In some Christian families, baking a Twelfth Night cake is still a tradition. However, while Christians view it as a rounding off of the Christmas season, Pagans saw it as a time to worship the Mother Goddess of nature.
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  (#11) Those Beautiful Christmas Songs Are Actually Creepy AF

  Even if you're not Christian, you most likely celebrate the holiday season to some extent. If nothing else, you probably enjoy hearing the occasional Christmas carol, which are basically unavoidable in the month of December. And why shouldn't you enjoy songs about spreading love and good will? 

  Hang on, what about I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus? Seriously? The pinnacle of moral authority for children is cheating on Mrs. Claus and hooking up with your mom, who happens to be cheating on your dad. The song ends after about three minutes, but the subsequent divorce proceedings, custody battles, and related emotional trauma take years to fully unfold. 

  Then, there is Baby It's Cold Outside, where a predator tries to get his date drunk, and won't let her leave. It's terrifying. When else do we celebrate such ill conduct with cheer?
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  (#12) The Abominable Snowman Is Real, And It's Trying To Kill Rudolph

  Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer has earned its place among the Christmas classics. Its choppy animation is still enchanting children almost 53 years after the film's creation. However, that doesn't stop the story from being terrifying.

  Why does a tale involving Santa's favorite reindeer and an adorable elf who wants to become a dentist need a sharp-fanged, Christmas-hating monster? Apparently to remind children that people will dislike them for their differences (I.E., Rudolph and Hermey, the aspiring dentist elf), and also that monsters exist who are inbred to hate holiday cheer. 

  For many children, these scenes of horror stick out in their memory, to the point that the rest of the film is quickly forgotten. It's no wonder kids are more interested in television shows like Pokemon and Puppy Pals.

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