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(#1) Pippa is Greek Slang for a Sexual Act
Princess Kate’s stunning younger sister has a name that means "lover of horses," but if you’re living in Greece, it’s also slang for a rather, ahem, lewd act. Fortunately, a lot of non-Mediterranean-types are picking it due to being a "lover of Pippa Middleton." Hey, what's not to love?
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(#2) Suri Means Pig, Pointed Nose, and Pickpocket
As TomKat gazed into their little diva’s big blue eyes and dreamed of days dressing her in tiny Marc Jacobs flats, they were probably thinking of "princess" and "red rose" -- possible Hebrew and Persian meanings behind the name. If they had only known that it means "pig" in Punjabi, "pointy nose" in southern India, and '"pickpocket" in Japanese.
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(#3) Roger is Slang for Sex and Gas
In the U.S., the name Roger conjures thoughts of former James Bond, Roger Moore, and cartoon rabbits. Across the pond, however, Roger refers to the thing that rabbits do a great deal of. If that isn't off-putting enough, it also once was slang for the large, toxic, green gas clouds emitted from bleach factories. Yeesh.
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(#4) Randy is Sexually Charged Slang
Like many in the United Kingdom, Austin Powers was fond of this term to describe his very, very, very strong feelings of, um… love. But frankly, if it weren't for people feeling randy, there probably wouldn't be many Randys!
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(#5) The Meaning of Oedipus is Swollen Foot
Although a child named Oedipus would likely have more.... ahem... issues than just having a wacky name, the fact that it means "swollen foot" might be yet another reason to leave this one to the psychoanalysts.
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(#6) Caesar Means Hairy
Since this name might come from a word that means "head of hair" or hairy, you might be concerned that your cute, little Caesar/Cesar will grow up to be a hairy beast. You may want to counteract the name with the middle name Calvin, which means "bald."
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(#7) Kennedy Means Misshapen or Helmet Head
For decades, this name conjured up images of Camelot, political leaders, and hunky John, Jr. Unfortunately, its meaning isn't quite as hunky as the man was. In name-speak, Kennedy means misshapen or "ugly" head. (Of course, if anyone could rock the helmet hair, it was definitely Jackie O.!)
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(#8) Portia Means Swine
According to some sources, Portia is of Latin origin and means swine or pig. However, it's fairly certain that Ellen’s beautiful wife, Portia de Rossi, doesn’t live in a barn, eat slop, or snort uncontrollably. The name is best known from Shakespeare's play The Merchant of Venice.
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(#9) Gilbert is Another Word for Spit
Just because this was the name of Johnny Depp’s character in What's Eating Gilbert Grape? doesn't necessarily make it hot. This retro name appears to have been British slang for a green glob of spit.
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(#10) Cameron's Meaning is Crooked Nose
This Gaelic-derived name means "crooked nose." Don’t be afraid that using it will result in a need for a nose job – although, Cameron Diaz had one or two.
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(#11) Claudia is A Latin Name That Means Lame
Claudia is of Latin origin and comes from claudus, which means "lame," but supermodel Claudia Schiffer doesn't seem to have any trouble strutting down the catwalk.
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(#12) Julia's Meaning: Downy Bearded Youth
Somehow, most people think of Pretty Woman when hearing the name Julia, not a young dude in need of a shave... but parents who name their daughters this may be dooming them to a life full of chin hairs. The name comes from a Roman family name derived from a Greek word which means "downy bearded youth".
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(#13) The Name Calvin Means Bald
If male pattern baldness runs in your family, you might just want to stay away from this one; it dates back to a Latin word that means "bald." That said, scientists will probably have developed a simple pill for hair replacement therapy by the time little Calvin starts to thin out on top!
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(#14) Alexia is a Neurological Disorder
Love is blind… and so is the meaning behind this name. This sweet variant of Alexandra also describes an inability to read, such as word blindness, due to a disability. Such a pretty name for such an unfortunate situation, dontcha think?
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(#15) Cassandra Means She Who Snares Men
Cassandra is Greek and apparently means "she who entangles men." It’s hard to associate a devious man-eater with a sweet baby girl in pink named Cassandra. But call us when she’s 18!
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(#16) The Meaning of Campbell is Crooked Mouth
You may have heard actor Campbell Scott and news anchor Campbell Brown speak clearly, but their first names say something entirely different: Campbell means "crooked mouth."
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(#17) Mallory Means Bad Luck
It is a lucky thing to have a beautiful, brand-new baby girl, but the name Mallory means unlucky or unhappy.
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(#18) Rigel Means Foot
Since the name Rigel means "foot," choosing it for your child might be akin to putting your foot in your mouth... literally.
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(#19) The Meaning of Wyatt is Little Guy
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis made a strange choice when they gave their newborn daughter a distinctly masculine name, but it seems like even more of a stinky move when you consider that Wyatt actually means "little guy"!
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(#20) The Meaning of the Name Caleb is Dog
Although it means "dog," it can pretty much be promised that if you choose this Biblical name for your baby boy, he won’t bark at the moon or chase cars (but until he’s totally potty trained, we can’t promise you that he won’t pee on the rug).
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(#21) The Meaning of Olivia is Elf Army
This English name means "elf army." Does anyone remember an Olivia from Lord of the Rings? No? Maybe she works at the North Pole.
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(#22) Colin is Pronounced Like Colon
If you go long on the “o,” some military-types may immediately think of Colin Powell, the retired U.S. Army four-star general and 65th U.S. Secretary of State. But let’s be honest, most people are gonna think of that organ responsible for #2.
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(#23) Cecilia is a Latin Derived Name Meaning Blind
Even though the name Cecilia comes from Cecil, which means "blind," you might just hear the Simon and Garfunkel classic rock tune of the same name so often on radio that it makes you wish you were deaf.
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(#24) Courtney Means Short Nose
Courtney Love's had so much plastic surgery, she probably can't even remember the original size of her schnoz, but her first name means "short nose."
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(#25) The Name Connor Means Hound Lover
Please know that if you name your son Connor, just because his name means "hound-lover" does not guarantee him a place in veterinary school.
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(#26) The Name Belinda Means Beautiful Serpent
Herpetologists take note: If you happen to be a serpant enthusiast, name your next slinky female specimen Belinda. Although its exact origins are murky, some sources claim it means "beautiful snake."
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(#27) Melvin is Scottish and Means Bad Town
Talk about growing up on the wrong side of the tracks: Melvin is a variant of the surname Melville and means "bad town."
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(#28) Mary Jane Refers to Marijuana
Although this cute little combo brings to mind thoughts of precious little black patent leather shoes, it might also bring to mind Snoop Dogg’s favorite nine-leafed plant. Of course, your Mary Jane’s beauty will be all people think about once they see her. (Depending on how hard they partied in college…)
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(#29) The Name Lorelei Translates to Mumbling Rock
Cheesy classic rock band Styx had a hit in 1976 with a song called "Lorelei." Coincidentally, the name means murmuring (or mumbling) rock because Lorelai was the name of a legendary siren who sang boatmen to their doom. Perhaps frontman Dennis DeYoung should have tried singing the song with a sock stuck in his mouth?
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(#30) In Sanskrit, the Name Mina Means Fish
Mina is a diminutive form of many feminine names, including Amina, Wilhelmina, and Romina. It's easy to picture it on a cherubic baby girl. The Sanskrit translation, "fish," is significantly less cute... but it would wear well on a mermaid!
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(#32) The Name Emily Means Rival
The Latin derived Emily comes from a word that means "rival" or "imitating, rivaling," and although it has a cutthroat meaning, somehow when we hear this name, the only thing most people picture is a sweet, old-fashioned girl picking flowers.
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(#33) Amethyst Means Not Drunk
Perfect choice for the teetotaling set: This gem of a name literally translates to "not drunken."
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(#34) Thomas Means Twin
Just because you’re set on a name for your son that means "twin" doesn't mean the ultrasound tech was wrong when she said there was only one bun in your oven. That said, by the time he’s 2, you’ll probably start feeling like he's two different people when “good Thomas” and “bad Thomas” start to emerge.
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