Random People Who Married Inanimate Objects (16 items)

• 

  (#3) May Their Love Never Be Brought Down: A Woman Marries the Berlin Wall

  Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the Berlin Wall in 1979 after being diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality. Was this REALLY the only prescription?

  Berliner-Mauer says she fell in love with the structure when she first saw it on television at age seven, she refers to it as "he" and she collected his pictures until she could save up enough money to visit. On her sixth trip in 1979, they tied the knot before a handful of guests.

  While she technically remains a virgin, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall.

  When the Berlin wall was brought down 1989, Berliner-Mauer was horrified as she watched her husband being brought down. She has not been back since and now keeps models depicting "his" former glory.

  "What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband," she said. She has since been said to have shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence. So, because the wall doesn't look as good as it did in 1979, you're just gonna leave him for another rampart? Apparently, Berliner-Mauer partakes in sexual stimulation with this fence by rubbing herself on it... like a cat in heat.

  Berliner-Mauer, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier."

  There's nothing left to say after that really.

  Source
• 

  (#4) Game Over: A Man Marries a Video Game Character

  A man called Sal9000 (this story should really just be able to end after this, the guy's name) married Nene Anegasaki. Nene lives inside of a Nintendo DS video game called "Love Plus." The wedding was quite an event, carried out before a live audience and broadcast to a virtual one; the bride (who made a speech) and groom were married by a real human priest.

  While normal people worry about growing apart, Sal9000 has to worry about the fact that the Nintendo DS is completely outdated at this point and Gamestop will not take returns on used equipment.

  In the video above, a guy marries a video game.

  Source
• 

  (#8) Talk About a Family Tree: Bollywood Actress Marries a Tree

  Bollywood movie star and former Miss World Aishwarya Rai participated in an ancient Hindu ritual ceremony in which the bride spiritually marries a tree.

  The ritual is allegedly to help overcome differences in the couple's astrological charts – disparities which traditional Hindus believe have negative consequences on marriage. Under this ancient belief, Rai is considered a 'manglik' because her chart bears the planet Mars, and she must be 'married' to a peepal tree, a banana tree or a silver or golden idol of the Hindu god Vishnu in order to overcome the devastating effects being a 'manglik' could have on her impending nuptials.

  Rai was also hit with a lawsuit, so it didn't take away ALL bad luck; she faced a civil lawsuit for practicing the 'untouchability' service, which is associated with the caste system, because such ceremonies are in violation of the Indian constitution and are deemed offensive to women.

  Source
• 

  (#1) A Modern Mobile Fairy Tale: Man Marries His Smart Phone

  Los Angeles filmmaker Aaron Chervenak claimed he wanted to make a point about the emotional connection people have with their phones, but he was probably just sick of his parents bothering him about finding a girlfriend. In the name of ~art~, Chervenak eloped with his phone to the Little Las Vegas Chapel.

  He explained, "If we’re gonna be honest with ourselves, we connect with our phones on so many emotional levels. We look to it for solace, to calm us down, to put us to sleep, to ease our minds, and to me, that’s also what a relationship is about. In a sense, my smartphone has been my longest relationship." What a catch.
  
• 

  (#9) His Bride Is Such a Doll: A Man Marries a Barbie Doll

  A 46-year-old Taiwanese man, Chang Hsi-hsum, said he needed to marry a doll in order to appease the restless spirit of his dead wife. Not even the adult kind of doll most self-respecting weirdos like marrying (more on that later), but a 28cm (11-inch) Barbie doll.

  Apparently, the ceremony was quite elaborate. Barbie's so spoiled with her dream house and yacht that he had to show her a better way to live by having the wedding take place at his local Buddhist temple.

  The man believes the doll houses the spirit of his wife, Tsai, who killed herself 20 years ago because his family opposed their marriage.

  According to the news story, "the ceremony appeared to be a wedding like any other, with the bride's anxious family waiting outside the temple for the groom's arrival beforehand."

  The bride wore a wedding dress, complete with gold jewelery and rings and a gold necklace that had belonged to Tsai was placed on the doll. Tsai's dowry was also included in the ceremony, represented by a paper model of a red Mercedes car. It was then burned so she could use it in the afterlife. How had she been getting around all this time?

  After the wedding, Chang and his new bride returned to their home together with the urn that contained Tsai's ashes. He clearly carried her over the threshold.

  The urn will be placed at their home, and from now on, Tsai will be regarded as a member of their family. The groom's family have asked for Tsai's forgiveness by giving their blessing to the marriage, thus placating her spirit.

  Chang Hsi-hsun said: "I have waited for this day for 20 years. Even after all this time, I feel in love with her. Now I will marry her spirit and take her home. We will be finally together and able to live in peace."

  But before you get all sentimental, Chang did not spend 20 years alone, he remarried after Tsai's death and this ceremony was carried out with his current wife's blessing. Yes, current wife. He is still married.

  Source
• 

  (#13) She'll Never Say No: Man Marries Sex Doll

  When Davecat married a sex doll in 2000, he said "She provides me with a lot of things that I can't get out of an organic partner, like...quiet." Not to be rude, but there's a good chance Dave spent many a night with nothing but quiet. When you make the cognitive decision to marry a sex doll, it's an easy jump to assume the ladies are banging down your door on the regular.

  So you go ahead and put the blame on the fact that women "talk to much" and not that you can't get a girl with a pulse.

  Source

New Random Displays    Display All By Ranking