Random Experiences Of Former Participants In 'Purity Culture' (16 items)

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  (#12) There Are Possible Physical Side Effects

  From Linda Kay Klein, author of Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free:

  Some females experience what is called vaginismus - an involuntary physical tightening of the v*gina that makes sex painful and sometimes even impossible. According to therapist and obstetrician/gynecologist interviews by The Sydney Morning Herald, vaginismus is "more common among women who are saving themselves for marriage" and "women, who due to religious or cultural reasons, have developed an overriding fear of [intercourse]."
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  (#4) Hugging Was A Sin At This Church

  From Redditor /u/DashSyri:

  At my church growing up, it was sinful to just be checking someone else out. Christian side-hugs was a must. One paster caught me hugging one of my co-workers who I ran into in my early 20s. He made the off-handed comment, calling them boob hug, and warned me I was in danger. Dating in high school was forbidden unless you were courting someone. Which [led] a friend that I grew up with proposing to his high school crush so they could just date.

  I took my prom date to church and was told, "Don’t trade your destiny for [pleasure]." The ministry during my adult years encouraged that you shouldn't even kiss before marriage. I lived with guilt and shame for years and felt that I had screwed my entire life up for making out with a girl in my early 20s.

  This madness got even crazier when a family, who was housing an engaged bible college student, got their 15-year-old daughter pregnant - which is below the age of consent in the state I was in. Her family sent her out of state during her pregnancy and then she had to give up her child for adoption. When she came back I heard people claiming that she seduced him rather than calling him a [predator].

  Then the biggest pain and regret I have was when I did have [relations] for the first time in my mid 20s with my girlfriend - we both lived with other church members. She confessed to her roommate... and she demanded that we both confess to the pastor or [her roommate] would rat us out. The pastor told us that we had to get married, but we needed to have accountability partners so it doesn't happen again, and if it does we would be kicked out of the church. I still look back at this [and] think of how ridiculous it is.
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  (#9) Shame Over A Situation She Couldn't Control Drove Her To Make Dangerous Decisions

  From Redditor /u/hufflepuffinthebuff: 

  Purity culture is what made me feel worthless and ashamed after being r*ped. It's what made me jump into a subsequent horrible and risky relationship because if I'm already going to be seen as used-up and worthless, I might as well try to enjoy [it] and have some fun on my own terms. Any guy that would still marry a non-virgin probably wouldn't care if it was one guy vs. two, right?
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  (#1) This Woman Learned To Be Ashamed Of Her Body

  From Redditor /u/lunazeus:

  Purity culture destroyed my self-esteem because older people in church told me I couldn't wear tank tops and shorts like my friends because I had [a chest] and curves at 11. "It might cause your Christian brothers to stumble." Well, maybe creepy Mr. Mike, the usher, shouldn't be [fantasizing about] an 11-year-old girl. But no, it was my fault. I got in trouble so many times for the clothes I wore innocently because I wanted to be like my friends who just happened to not be developing the same way I was.

  I was still a child. There were always extra rules for me. We all had to wear one-piece bathing suits to church camp, but I was told to put a t-shirt on, too. So most of the time, I just didn't swim. What kid wants to swim in a t-shirt?

  I hid my body behind oversized clothes and didn't dress cute or enjoy fashion for years because I didn't want to be a stumbling block. I'm lucky that I wised up and got out of it so my self-esteem and confidence could be on the mend, but I look back at my teenage and childhood self, and I feel terrible because of the way adults made me feel ashamed of my body. If I have a daughter, I will never expose her to that. It nearly destroyed me.
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  (#6) Some Women Base Their Identities On Being A Virgin

  From Redditor /u/CttCJim:

  Purity culture is women basing their entire identities around their virginity, so once it's gone, be it by premarital sex, r*pe, or married honeymoon copulating, the woman slowly realizes she has nothing left to offer the world but the drudgery of child-rearing.
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  (#7) Purity Culture Affected Her Into Her Adult Years

  From Linda Kay Klein, author of Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free:

  Based on our nightmares, panic attacks, and paranoia, one might think that my childhood friends and I had been to war, and in fact, we had. We went to war with ourselves, our own bodies, and our own sexual natures, all under the strict commandment of the church.

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