The Three Million Dollar Joke That Became Canon
[ranking: 15]
The 80s were a magical time for comic books, and especially the X-Men. They could pretty much do whatever they wanted and their powers were always in flux. That goes doubly for Wolverine. Early on in Chris Claremont's run, he and his writing partner decided that if Wolverine had undergone as many invasive surgeries as it would take to give him the "three million buck" adamantium skeleton that he brags about in X-Men #126, then he would have to have a healing factor.
It's behind the scenes stories like this that make the world of comic book writing sound so fun. The fact that the two guys who were in charge of one of the greatest fictional franchises in the world were just spit balling stuff that became a legendary part of the story is truly amazing.
Dirty Logan
[ranking: 12]
To be honest, the only time anyone needs to quip this much is when they fight a Hellfire Club guard. The fact that Logan has this much time to run through the entire Dirty Harry routine with some creep with a plastic face means that there are probably better things that he could be doing with his time.
This is the kind of thing that writers used to have Wolverine doing all the time, and it while it works in this scenario, readers are glad that he's not just quoting movies at length anymore.
Of Course You Know This Means War
[ranking: 7]
In a post decimation world (you know, when Scarlet Witch stripped most of the mutants of the world of their powers) it's fortuitous for 12 year old Molly Hayes of The Runaways to still have her telekinetic abilities along with her super strength. Not only does she pose a threat to any evil mutants that are still lurking around, but she also packs a wallop on anyone who underestimates her. And that definitely goes for Wolverine when he tries to "save" her from a priest while she's investigating a missing maguffin. Wolverine pops out his claws and before you can say "snikt" she throws him into the snow of New York City.
Logan's button on the scene feels like it was written after watching one too many episodes of Looney Toons, but that's OK because it's funny, and who doesn't like seeing one of the strongest, most badass superheroes - ever - get his ass handed to him by a 12 year old?
The Rare Time That Logan Has a Valid Point
[ranking: 3]
The only thing that Warren Ellis could do to follow up Joss Whedon's powerhouse collection of Astonishing X-Men stories was to make things get weird. In the first arc of his run on the series, Ellis introduces the X-Men to meat Sentinels, Brood missiles, and that pesky Krakoa island. After an arc full of insanity and resurfaced enemies, the X-Men come face to face with Kaga, a true mutant who hates the heroes because they're so beautiful. It's some straight high-school garbage, so Logan punches this 60-something year-old-man in the face to teach him a lesson. Also because he's riding a wheelchair of death.
Admittedly this is kind of goofy, but it's classic Wolverine to unload on some villain who isn't worth his time because he's in a bad mood. And if you want to make something funnier, you can't beat adding "of doom" to the end of whatever you're talking about.
Everyone Likes Arts and Crafts
[ranking: 13]
Joss Whedon made so many fun and interesting choices on his run of Astonishing X-Men, and the six-issue series "Torn" might be some of his best work ever. The storyline deals with the resurgence of the Hellfire Club, who wreak absolute havoc on everyone at Xavier's School for Gifted Children. They remove Logan, possibly the most dangerous member of the X-Men, from the picture by changing his mentality from that of a hardened killer to that of a child mesmerized by all the wonderful things life has to offer.
And this visual of Logan playing with some paper men might be one of the funniest (and kind of upsetting things) Wolverine fans have ever seen.
This Is as Close to Side Eye as Logan Gets
[ranking: 9]
Marvel's Gifted storyline deals with the rebuilding of Xavier's School for Gifted Children, and the X-Men putting themselves back together after the loss of Jean Grey. Aside from the heavy-handed metaphor, the story is the first of four arcs written by Joss Whedon and it explores Scott Summers's budding romance with Emma Frost - his new co-captain in the X-Men.
When Wolverine finds out that Scott has jumped into bed with another telepath so quickly after his wife's death, Logan immediately starts brooding, but not before he dishes out a little bit of that Logan sarcasm.
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