Random Things You Suck At, According To Your Zodiac Sign (12 items)

(#9) Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
- Star System
There's no one who embodies the idea of an independent spirit more than Sagittarius. A Sagittarius is wildly independent, dedicated and driven – a lone wolf who slays the world solo. These traits are a straight-shot to success, but they also sort of get in the way.
Stubborn Sagittarians have to do everything by themselves. Like a toddler who falls flat on their face after insisting they can tie their shoes without the help of mom and dad, a Sagittarius will fall over and over again because they believe they don't need anyone. In turn, a Sag's desire to succeed without the help of others makes them seem pretty overconfident, argumentative and smug. No one likes to watch a stubborn person repeatedly fail because they can't ask for a hand (or maybe you do, if you're a Scorpio).
(#3) Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
- Constellation
Gemini's symbol is twins because if you're born under the sign you're going to get one of two characteristics – the loyal, passionate friend who hates the same people you do or the two-faced gossip who accidentally spreads your secrets around town. Geminis just can't keep their mouths shut, but it's not always on purpose. They're the kind of people who get so swept up in a juicy conversation that they accidentally disclose sensitive details. Whoops! Sometimes when you're passionately judging someone, it's easy to accidentally spill the tea.
(#1) Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- Constellation
Two years ago, Aries told you not wear hoop earrings because hoop earrings were her thing. Then, when your parents got you a pair of gorgeous, expensive, white gold hoops for Hanukkah, you had to pretend you didn't even like them. The truth is that Aries is always the boss regardless of whether or not she wears pink on Wednesdays. Although the good thing is that Aries are energetic and can make good leaders, but a good leader is easily also a bossy one.
(#11) Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
- Constellation
Aquariuses are smart smart and innovative at their very core, but exist in a strange paradox between mainstream and fringe. If you're an Aquarius, you've got the kind of mind that isn't about to file that boring paperwork at your day job because you're busy dreaming up a future where a computer will fill it out for you. Unfortunately, that's pretty annoying for literally everyone you work with, and you can come off like a total brag or someone who's completely apathetic. Yeah, it's a drag to have to explain your brainiac ideas to minds who think inside the box, but you can't let it get the best of you. The world hasn't yet caught up to your ideologies, so when you ditch out on paying a parking ticket in a fit of rebellion, you're going to have to own up to the annoying late fine. Who knew being smart would be so hard?
(#8) Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
- Constellation
Scorpios may traditionally be represented by eight-legged scorpions, but don't be fooled. Every Scorpio has a snake bigger than Taylor Swift lurking somewhere inside of their dark souls. Scorpios are wildly possessive masters of manipulation who have an intoxicating air of danger about them that lures people. They might seem charming on the outside, but on the inside, they're straight-up venomous – especially if they smell a hint of disloyalty. "Disloyalty" is a broad term for Scorpios and can be as innocuous as liking a Facebook post from a frenemy or swearing your allegiance to In-N-Out instead of Shake Shack.
The worst part of dealing with a Scorpio is that once you get into a spat, you going to be stung. Scorpios are too secretive and paranoid that people will manipulate them in the way they've manipulated you, so you can't win. Scorpios always destroy the receipts, unless the receipts are yours. In that case, they're filed in alphabetical order and relegated to the depths of their snake lair for safe keeping.
(#6) Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
- Constellation
What you call hyper critical and wildly judgmental, a Virgo would call detail-oriented. Virgos just aren't great at letting the little things go – from pointing out a tiny, irrelevant inconsistency in your memory of Friday's night (no that guy didn't actually hit on you like you thought, don't you remember?) or noticing that your foundation is a half shade off from your natural skin tone. It's probably kind of helpful if you're the kind of person who doesn't want to walk around with greens between your teeth, but sometimes, you just want to live without being picked apart. Let us live, Virgo, let us live!