Random Surprising Ways Scientology Like the Church of Satan (12 items)

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  (#1) Secrecy Is Incredibly Important to Both of Them

  The Church of Scientology is known for maintaining an almost cartoonish level of secrecy about its operating budget, auditors, and pretty much everything else that goes on behind its blue-and-gold doors. The fear of Scientology is similar to that of the fear of the Church of Satan due to the fact that they aren't the biggest oversharers either. 
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  (#2) Celebrities Love Both Religions

  Both Scientology and the Church of Satan have attracted a lot of big names to their gatherings in all the years they've been around. Admittedly, Scientology-inclined celebs like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Beck are a little bigger, but you can't beat card-carrying Satanists like Sammy Davis Jr., Jayne Mansfield, and Marilyn Manson. 
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  (#3) Both Are Tight-Lipped About Money

  One of the biggest questions about Scientology is, "What are they doing with all that money?" Because the church hasn't released a tax statement in about a decade, it's impossible to know where all the tithes they receive go, but by looking at the Celebrity Center and a few of their other spots in Los Angeles, it's pretty easy to figure it out. The Church of Satan never says what it does with its membership fees, either, and since there isn't a defacto headquarters to keep up, it seems odd that they would still collect money. 
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  (#4) They Both Have Cool Logos

  We can't stress enough how much it matters for your corporation/church/philosophy/band/whatever to have a good logo. A good logo is the difference between people hating you but considering you to be a Bond villain (very cool!), and people hating you and thinking that your Presidential campaign logo is having sex with itself (not cool!). Scientology's "double triangle with an S" logo is not only aesthetically pleasing, but it has shades of Crowleyian Satanism to boot. 
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  (#5) They Were Both Started by Artists Trying to Make a Transition

  One of the biggest things that connects the Church of Satan to the Church of Scientology is that they were both started by guys who were down on their luck. Anton LaVey was famously a carnival barker who started the first version of his church in a nightclub with topless witches, similarly to how L. Ron Hubbard got burned out on his job as a freelance pulp writer and began seeking a better way to make a living. A famous Hubbard quote goes, "Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."
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  (#6) The Self Is the Most Important Part of Both Religions

  It's no secret that Satanism is a religion about turning yourself into your own god and placing your well-being above all others. While Scientology isn't as selfish a philosophy as Satanism, it is about clearing yourself of all your perceived mental ickiness so you can ascend to a higher plane of existence. 
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  (#7) Xenu and Satan Both Have Weird Origin Stories

  One of the biggest sticking points of Scientology is that a large part of their philosophy is the existence of an alien galactic ruler named Xenu who detonated volcanoes full of souls with hydrogen bombs. When you compare Xenu to Satan, the fallen angel who turned into a snake and gave a naked woman an apple, he looks... well, he still looks really silly. 
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  (#8) They Have Similar Core Tenets

  The simplest tenet of Scientology is that man is “basically good and that his spiritual salvation depends upon himself, his fellows, and his attainment of brotherhood with the universe.” Which is incredibly similar to one of the core tenets of the Church of Satan: "Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!"
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  (#9) Neither Church Likes Their Offshoots

  The problem with any organized religion is that everyone wants to have their say. But church leaders don't want that to happen because if everyone is getting to say whatever they want, then they aren't able to control their parishioners. The Church of Scientology calls people who practice Scientology without its blessing “squirrels.” While the Church of Satan simply dedicates a full web page to putting its former followers on blast. 
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  (#10) They Have Interesting Holidays

  Maybe we have western Judeo-Christian religions to blame for the holidays of Scientology and Satanism seeming so goofy, or maybe everyone involved is just bad at picking dates. Scientology has three main holidays: L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday on March 13, the anniversary of the first publication of Dianetics in May, and everyone's favorite, Auditor’s Day, in September. Satanism's two main holidays are Halloween and Walpurgisnacht, a celebration where all the witches in the world meet on the highest peak in Germany. 
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  (#11) L. Ron Hubbard Was Fascinated with Aleister Crowley

  Believe it or not, but L. Ron Hubbard was obsessed with Aleister Crowley, one of the largest-looming figures of Satanism. Hubbard was so into Crowley's erotic magic that he moved to Pasadena, CA, where he began studying under John Whiteside Parsons, whose main focus was that of Aleister Crowley's OTO sex magick. 
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  (#12) An Integral Part of Scientology Comes from the Work of Aleister Crowley

  One of the biggest ideas of Scientology is that our bodies are full of something called thetans, or the spirits of aliens who attach themselves to us as babies. What does that have to do with Satanism? During World War I, Aleister Crowley (who, as we know, was big influence on Satanism) wrote a novel that would later be published as Moonchild, which told the story of a magical operation based on the theory that a particular type of spirit can be attached to an unborn human embryo. Sound familiar?

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