Random Skyscraper Window Cleaners Describe Most Bizarre Things They've Seen (16 items)

• (#1) A Couple Having Fun Spitting At Each Other

  From Redditor /u/FerryPencer: 

  I saw a man and a woman squirting water out of their mouths at each other. It probably was highballs, not water, but I couldn't see what they had in their glasses.

  Anyway, first he'd take a swallow and squirt it all over her, then she did it to him - they took turns, for God's sake. You should've seen them. They were in hysterics the whole time, like it was the funniest thing that ever happened.
• (#2) British Royal Vomit

  From Redditor /u/A_Window_Cleaner: 

  When I was working windows right out of high school, I was cleaning the suite windows at the Wynn where Prince Harry was staying.

  I found myself cleaning royal vomit off of the balcony window.

  I guess the prince knows how to throw a good party.
• (#3) A Guy Practicing His Cutlery Skills

  From Redditor /u/differt: 

  [I saw] a dude throwing kitchen knives at a dartboard in an undersized pink robe.

  Skipped that window.
• (#4) A Career's Worth Of Stories

  From Redditor /u/darkerthanmysoul: 

  My uncle has been doing this job over 20 years, so I’ve had a few weird stories off him:

  • A woman filming [an adult movie].
  • A sign on a window asking them to not clean the bathroom window. Obviously not knowing which window [looked into the bathroom], they went about their jobs. The bathroom had skinned rabbits hung up.
  • A hoarder whose windows were slowly being hidden by the years of “collections.”
  • A famous footballer who was NOT with his wife. Not not long after this the company was asked to sign NDAs.
  • What looked like a scene [for police]. My uncle reported it but was later told it was fake [body substances] for a TV show that was filming there.

  His favorite?

  • A dog breeder (okay, breeder is not the right word, but someone who had two litters), and every four weeks he went back to clean the building and got to see the pups growing up. When he went back and they were roughly 12 weeks there was one pup left. He asked for her, and now he’s got a rottie called Holly.
• (#5) A Beautiful Woman Who Didn't Mind The Gawkers

  From Redditor /u/nowaynotever: 

  Five years ago, four of us window-cleaning lowlifes were on a neighboring building rooftop preparing ropes for work in the morning. This was in a vibrant suburb in Australia with many tall apartments.

  One of the most beautiful women I have ever seen was putting on lingerie. When she finished pulling up and attaching her stockings she spied us across the road gawking.

  Casually, while maintaining eye contact, she pulled the blind down to her shoulders to cover her face and continued with putting on makeup.

  It was one of the best days of my professional career and I will love that woman forever. Not bizarre really, but I thought I'd share a sweet memory with y'all.
• (#6) People Using An Empty Floor For All Kinds Of Activities

  From Redditor /u/zerothed: 

  Ex-skyscraper window cleaner here, but in Hong Kong.

  Skyscrapers in recent times have these "fire floors" built in, like every 15th floor where the whole floor is empty: no walls, no windows, as if someone forgot to build a floor there. It's just pillars. The use for them is if fire is breaking out, it won't spread up past that floor.

  Anyway, a lot of people in the building I worked at used that empty floor to do weird things. Some practiced music. Some ate their lunch at that place (it does have a nice view of the sea). Also, some liked to think no one would see them [get intimate] if they did it behind a pillar.

  We never paid much attention to anything on that floor... It's just funny when they were going at it good and proper and didn't realize we were silently lowering down from above, having heard them go at it from two floors up. I don't know why people did it. Everyone who works in that building knew we cleaned windows every day. Maybe they just couldn't hold it in any longer...

  Anyway, it was always funny seeing them on that floor... with two blokes staring at them, hanging 40 floors off the ground... I always loved seeing their faces turn and twist when they spotted us watching them...
• (#7) Tenacious, Flirtatious Women

  From Redditor /u/PivotPIVOTPIVOOOT: 

  My ex was a high-rise window cleaner and he always talked about the crazy things women did. It seems like the glass gives them a sense of security and they do things I don’t think they’d do if that glass wasn’t there: women flashing and pressing their chests against the glass, mooning and pressing their [bottoms] on the glass, writing their phone numbers and pressing it against the glass.

  There was one point when we were engaged and he would hold his finger up and point to his ring (he wore an engagement ring, too), [but] it didn’t seem to stop some of the women. In fact, it made some of them try harder, he said.
• (#8) A College Student Who Was Passed Out

  From Redditor /u/t3khole: 

  There were three of us who dropped next to each other. One of them LOVED screwing with people on the inside. This was a dorm, about 25 stories or so. Near halfway down the building you could really start swinging, and he yelled at me and the other guy to swing over to him. On his drop was a college girl passed out on the window sill.

  Him: “On the count of 3, slam your suction cup on the glass and scream.”

  We proceeded to scare the living sh*t out of this poor girl. She fell off the sill almost immediately. It ended with everyone laughing. She took a selfie with us and later met us at the bottom of the building and punched all of us (playfully). She had a good spirit about it.
• (#9) A Startled And Angry Parrot

  From Redditor /u/sirmcchris: 

  Nothing too crazy, but I worked for my stepdad's company, which had very sketchy equipment and no safety rope/vest to make sure you don’t plunge to certain [termination] or permanent injury. We used stack ladders, [which] are very hard to assemble if you lack upper body strength.

  Also, you very much want someone at the bottom holding you if you stacked three or more ladders... Sudden strong winds [will] make you regret every decision you’ve ever made in your life when you get hit by one. Typing this out, our dangerous setup is the craziest part of this story.

  Anyway, I had six ladders stacked and was cleaning a third-story window at a private residence. As soon as I made the climb up the ladder and to the window, I scared the sh*t out of a parrot sitting in a cage on the other side. This f*cking parrot lets out this shriek that scared the sh*t out of me because I didn’t see the parrot at first.

  I was already nervous being three stories up on a sketchy ladder. I swear I almost fell backward. I just hugged the ladder and p*ssed myself and had to go back down because I was so shook. Climbing down I was so nervous, and I’ve done it with ease before. Once you get to used to it... you don’t get scared unless an unexpected parrot f*cking screams at you.
• (#10) A CEO Snorting An Illicit Substance

  From Redditor /u/dman2316: 

  Not a skyscraper window washer, but [I] was a janitor who had to wash the windows in a six-story building as part of my job. I used a mix of ladders and rappelling down from the roof with a harness to clean the outside windows.

  One day I was washing the outside windows on the executive floor where all the bosses and higher-up employees had their offices. I was done with one window, so I moved to the next, looked in, and saw the CEO of the company snorting something in his office with the door locked and the lights off.

  He looked up and saw me in the window and we made uncomfortable eye contact for about 15 seconds. I just pretended I saw nothing and kept washing the windows. I never spoke a word about it to him or anyone in the office, but the last day I worked there he gave me a farewell card with 200 bucks in it and a free solar-powered portable phone charger the company produced and sold.
• (#11) A Famous Athlete Getting Some Exercise

  From Redditor /u/normal242: 

  It was a normal morning and I had just begun cleaning windows. I was cleaning one with the blind down, not really paying attention.

  I realized the blind was slowly rising, and when it finished opening I saw him: cricket legend Brett Lee doing yoga. Will never forget that day.
• (#12) A Couple Going At It During A Job Interview

  From Redditor /u/mehfara: 

  I was once cleaning a skyscraper where I know nearly everyone [who] works there.

  I saw a job interviewer [being intimate] with another guy (probably someone he interviewed). The interviewer, who is straight, married, and has kids, gave me $500 not to tell anyone.

  Easiest money I ever made.
• (#13) A Man With An Interesting Use For A Potted Plant

  From Redditor /u/sdelly: 

  My boyfriend has done a lot of high-rise window washing.

  As he was doing his thing, a man walked into an office, unzipped his pants, proceeded to pee into a potted plant, and walked back out as soon as he was done doing his business.

  The man was never aware he had an audience.
• (#14) An Intimate Moment Between Two Consenting Adults

  From Redditor /u/Zakmcj17: 

  I work for my dad's window cleaning business in Scotland. While cleaning a couple's windows (ground-floor bungalow), I stumbled across the couple [getting intimate] in the living room... [T]hey made eye contact with me and didn’t stop.

  Probably the most awkward experience of my life, but you better believe I finished the job and took my 20 pounds tip.
• (#15) Unusual Adult Entertainment

  From Redditor /u/THEEHaydenRush: 

  Every time I went by to clean this one dude's apartment window, he and his friend would watch the weirdest [adult movies] on his giant f*cking TV.

  They would watch it like they were watching the news or something.
• (#16) Lots Of Falling Needles (Not From Trees)

  From Redditor /u/ThinkDontPray: 

  The one that gets me is the amount of people who throw syringes off of buildings.

  [The] 92-story building in the city I work in has them scattered all over the place.

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