Random Rules For A Successful Satanist Gathering (12 items)

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  (#2) Grottos Are Not Your Personal Cult

  If you're in charge of a grotto or a small crew of Satanists, it's important to remember you're not running the Cult of Greg (or whatever your name is). You're supposed to be getting your spooky friends together to discuss fun devil stuff, not selling drugs or getting into some weird commune life where you write a new bible and start wearing jumpsuits.

  According to Michael Aquino's memoirs, The Temple of Set Volume 1, he and Anton Lavey discovered a grotto using get-togethers as a front for selling drugs, so they shut the whole thing down, daddy Satan style. 
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  (#6) Don't Be A Snitch With Your Non Satanist Friends

  If you do managed to get invited to a grotto party (or simply a modern day Satanic fun time party), for Satan's sake don't go around blabbering about what happens there to the squares in your friend group. Even if there's nothing super sexy or weird happening, you should keep the goings on of a secret society as secret as possible. The greatest extension of this rule is to not invite journalists to your party.

  From the Grotto Master's Handbook:

  "The first rule of dealing with the media is: Never trust a journalist. This may seem harsh and sweeping, to be suspicious of all journalists, but that's the general stance of a Satanist about most people - then we're pleasantly surprised if someone exceeds our expectations. Journalists want a story." 
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  (#7) Don't Dictate To Your Guests

  If you're hosting a get-together at your grotto, it's important you don't stomp around telling everyone what to do just because you're the big boss in charge. That's why too tyrannical-Christian-god to be an okay thing to do at a Satanist gathering. 

  The Grotto Master's Handbook instructs grotto masters to, "Counsel but don't dictate." Grotto masters should "provide direction" and "accurate and caring advice based on greater experience and wisdom." 
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  (#11) What Should You Wear?

  It's your first big grotto party with all of your groovy Satanic friends. You'll be doing your best to impress all of the spookiest people in your area, and there will be some sexy goth guys and girls there. You don't want to look like a dork. So what to wear?

  If you keep up with the laws of Satanism, you know you should wear whatever's comfortable and won't annoy everyone. Bring a black robe if you plan on taking part in a ritual.

  According to the Grottomaster's Handbook, "We don't require discipline in the arbitrary sense of wearing tightly-regulated uniforms and the right color Baphomet for a particular degree, but we do demand the kind of discipline necessary for cohesion and coordination."
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  (#3) Keep Your Opinions To Yourself

  This is common sense. If you're at a Satanist get-together and you overhear a group of friends discussing something that's none of your business, please don't pipe in like a lout. Unless someone asks for your opinion, keep your thoughts to yourself. If you're the kind of person who just can't keep his mouth shut, you probably shouldn't be hanging out at a clandestine party with a bunch of groovy people talking about (or maybe even to?) Satan.

  This is especially true if you were at one point Christian and are looking to change. You may think, because you know the Bible back to front, you can leap into someone else's convo and correct them. Christsplaining is a big no-no in 666Daddyland. Satanists have their own interpretation of things; trying to correct them with proper Church knowledge is totally against the notion of rejecting the tyranny of God. 
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  (#9) If You're Inebriated, You Can't Take Part In A Ritual

  When it comes time to do whatever super cool ritual you and your groovy gang of Satanists are going to do, you've got to make sure you've got a clear head. It's one thing if you're just hanging out in the hot tub and chatting, but if you're going to call forth the Dark Lord or have a philosophical debate about the merits of Luciferian beliefs, you've got to know exactly what you're doing. 

  From the Grottomaster's Handbook:

  "Never allow grotto members to participate in rituals when they are obviously drunk or high. This has been the rule from the beginning of the Church of Satan, founded in San Francisco at the height of the acid-dropping 60's. It is simply too dangerous and can be disastrous for all present. The ritual chamber can be disorienting for a strong mind; it is too much for a drug-befuddled mind."

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