Random Rom-Com Plots That Are Actually Stuff Of Nightmares (12 items)

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  (#1) My Best Friend's Wedding

  • Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Rupert Everett, Cameron Diaz, Paul Giamatti, Rachel Griffiths, Harry Shearer, Carrie Preston, Susan Sullivan, Bree Turner, M. Emmet Walsh, Philip Bosco, Christopher Masterson, Chelcie Ross, Paul Adelstein, Charlie Trotter, Rose Abdoo, Mike Bacarella, Robert Minkoff, Davenia McFadden, Joe Sikora, Burton Zucker, Charlotte Zucker, Nydia Rodriguez Terracina, Reese Foster, Anh Duong, Daisy Alexandra Sylbert-Torres, Lucy Pacquet, Ned Schmidtke, Gene Janson, Susan Breslau, JoBe Cerny, Sid Hillman, Mara Casey, Chris Lowe, Jerod Howard, Mary-Pat Green, Johnny White, Patricia E. Harrington, Mark Swenson, Kathi Copeland, Dominic Testa, Renata Scott, Tonray Ho, Amy Danles, Phillip Ingram, Jennifer McComb, Jo Farkas, Kevin Michael Doyle, Ray Uhler, Maridean Mansfield Shepard, Eric A. Pot, Molly Murphy, Anne Spradley-Montie, Kelly Sheerin, Leon 'Lee' Fuller, Shirley Kelly, Stephanie Burton, Jennifer Garrett, Shale Marks, Robert Velo, Michelle Hutchison, Norman Merrill, Raci Alexander, Larry Santori, George Bozonelos, Robert Sutter, Loretta Paoletti, Guillermo Tellez, Sharon Haight, Scott Kuhagen, Aida Baggio, Cassie Creasy

  Julianne (Julia Roberts) in My Best Friend's Wedding is supposed to be charming and goofy. Instead, she is despicable. The movie has its moments; Julianne's klutziness, for example, is always funny. But even expert pratfalls can't save her rotten character.

  Realizing she's been in love with her best friend (Dermot Mulroney) for years, Julianne sets out to stop his wedding. And not just stop it, but destroy the wedding and the lives of her supposed best friend and his fiancée. Julianne puts everyone through hell for one long wedding weekend, leaving emotional wreckage in her wake, and yet she's totally, inexplicably, forgiven by the time the credits roll.

  If My Best Friend's Wedding were a Lifetime movie and Julianne were played by Tori Spelling, it would be a really bad thriller. Instead, it's just a really bad rom-com.
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  (#2) What Women Want

  • Mel Gibson, Marisa Tomei, Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Martha Stewart, Logan Lerman, Alan Alda, Lisa Edelstein, Judy Greer, Sarah Paulson, Lauren Holly, Ana Gasteyer, Loretta Devine, Eric Balfour, Valerie Perrine, Delta Burke, Ashley Johnson, Richard Simmons, Mark Feuerstein, Brooke Elliott, Arden Myrin, Diana-Maria Riva, Julie White, Danielle Weeks, Alexondra Lee, Alex McKenna, Audrey Wasilewski, Nnenna Freelon, T. J. Thyne, Cristine Rose, Juanita Jennings, LeShay Tomlinson, Andrea Baker, David C. Fisher, Shirley Prestia, Christopher Emerson, Kiva Dawson, Lisa Long, Nicki Sixteen, Alexandria Lakewood, Hallie Meyers-Shyer, Angela Oh, Tracy Pacheco, Kelley Hazen, Robin Pearson Rose, Kathrin Lautner Middleton, Caryn Greenhut, Dean Teaster, Kelly Cooper, Elizabeth Friedman, Andi Eystad, Rachel Duncan, Drew Howerton, Sierra Pecheur, Nancy Sinclair, Ashlee Turner, Andy Schofield, Nancy Wetzel, Maggie Egan, Victoria Kelleher, Coby Goss, Gil Hacohen, Kimberly Lyon, Tracey Stone, Kelsey Oldershaw, Katie Miller, Gregory Cupoli, Aviva Gale, Katie Kneeland, Bobbi Miller-Moro, Melinda Songer, Joe Petchka, Robert Briscoe Evans, Kate Asner, Marnie Mosiman, Heidi Helmer, Palmer Davis, Jennifer Greenhut, Jon Frazier, Grace O'Neill, Jeanine O'Connell, Regiane Gorski, Christian Michel, Jamie Gutterman, Ashley Quirico, Robin Nance, Lisa Anne Hillman, Gertrude Wong, Dana Waters, Liz Tannebaum, Krista McRoberts, Laura Quicksilver, Harmony Rousseau, Regan Rohde, Juliandra Gillen, Sally Meyers Kovler, Nancy Monsarat, Marla Martensen, Kristine Perchetti, Jacqueline Thomas, Perry Cavitt, Kristina Martin, Brian Callaway, Crystal McKinney, Rory Rubin, Chris Rolfes, Jeanne Renick, Heidi Merrick, Norman H. Smith

  What Women Want is troubling even before you remember it stars Mel Gibson. Gibson plays a man who can read what women are thinking, a trait that would be downright scary if it were to happen in real life. Imagine all the ways the Mel Gibsons of the world could terrorize women with their ability to read minds.

  There's also a lot of other ickiness going on in What Women Want. Many of the female characters are borderline offensive. For example, Gibson's character cannot read the thoughts of his two female assistants BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ANY THOUGHTS. How did this movie gross over $374 million?
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  (#3) Never Been Kissed

  • Jessica Alba, Drew Barrymore, James Franco, Leelee Sobieski, John C. Reilly, David Arquette, Molly Shannon, Octavia Spencer, Marley Shelton, Garry Marshall, Jordan Ladd, Michael Vartan, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Chali 2na, Cut Chemist, Allen Covert, Jeremy Jordan, Cress Williams, Andrew Wilson, Sean Whalen, Cory Hardrict, David Doty, Sara Downing, Alex Solowitz, Giuseppe Andrews, Gregory Sporleder, Tracy Reiner, Jenny Bicks, Philip Hawn, Kathleen Marshall, Branden Williams, Marcello Robinson, Andrew Aguilar, Carmen Llywelyn, Chad Todhunter, Daniel Louis Rivas, Martha Hackett, Denny Kirkwood, Hunter G. Williams, Kevin Scott Greer, Priscilla Cory, A. David Burleigh, Don Snell, Joe Ochman, Russell Bobbitt, Raul Pacheco, Maya McLaughlin, Sarah DeVincentis, Tinsley Grimes, Jason Weissbrod, Marq Edwards, David Douglas, Asdru Sierra, Mike Moyer, William Marrufo, Niesha Trout, Derek Morgan, Katie Lansdale, Rock Reiser, Jose Espinosa, Fabio May, Billy McLellan, Danny Zavatsky, Wil-Dog Abers, Justin Porée, Chad Haywood, Ulises Bella, Jiro Yamaguchi, Amanda Wilmshurst, Steven Wilde, Tara Skye, Jennifer Parsons, Joshua Fitzgerald, Conor O'Neil, Mark Allen

  In Never Been Kissed, Josie (Drew Barrymore) is a journalist and fully-grown woman who goes back to high school to research an undercover story. Not the most original of plotlines, but there were a few elements that differentiated it from all the variations out there: namely, that Josie has a romantic relationship with one of the teachers at the school – a teacher who thinks she's a high school student. And not only that, when Josie is asked to prom, she readily agrees to go with a popular classmate. A teenager, mind you.

  There's a lot wrong with Never Been Kissed. Elle even called it "the weirdest, most screwed-up romantic comedy of all time."
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  (#4) Overboard

  • Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall, Katherine Helmond, Edward Herrmann, Mike Hagerty, Frank Buxton, Frank Campanella, Rielle Hunter, Jared Rushton, Jeffrey Wiseman, Doris Hess, Carol Williard, Henry Alan Miller, Brian Price, Jamie Wild

  A snotty rich heiress (Goldie Hawn) falls off a boat and gets amnesia. A local carpenter (Kurt Russell) she once stiffed on a job sees her story on the news and tells her she is his wife. To get back at her, he then practically enslaves her, making her keep house and home while raising his brood of brats.

  Seen from this perspective, is Overboard in any way romantic? Or even a comedy? It is much more sinister than its rom-com façade would have you believe: a man turns a woman into his personal slave as his own brand of twisted revenge. And worst of all? They fall in love at the end. Stockholm Syndrome, anyone?
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  (#5) Silver Linings Playbook

  • Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, Julia Stiles, Chris Tucker, Anupam Kher, Jacki Weaver, Montana Marks, Dash Mihok, Paul Herman, Shea Whigham, John Ortiz, Robert Bizik, Brian Anthony Wilson, Liam Ferguson, Bonnie Aarons, Matthew James Gulbranson, Jessica Czop, Ryan Tygh, Vincent Riviezzo, Luis Pacheco, Vaughn Goland, Jen Weissenberg, Kenny Shapiro, David Kneeream, Luisa Diaz, Joe Cappelletti, Jae Greene, Brea Bee, Jade Froeder, Pete Postiglione, Christian Dorsey, Todd Anthony, Louis Centanni, Will Souders, JaQuinley Kerr, Andrea Havens, Raymond Mamrak, Tom Delconte, Shawn Gonzalez, Tom Leonard, Patrick McDade, Mihir Pathak, Jeff Reim, Volieda Webb, Maureen Torsney-Weir, Cheryl Williams, Marty Krzywonos, Dennis Jeantet, Matthew Russell, Joseph Tornatore, Mike Wilson, Anthony Lawton, Cindy Engle, Carol Anne Mueller, Nikki Corinne, Tiffany E. Green, Rita Soto, Thomas Walton, Phillip Chorba, Rick Russo, Erica Lynne Marszalek, Patsy Meck, Michael J. Kraycik, Samantha Steffen, Kirk Kelly, Jeni Miller, Ryan Shank, Cody C.J. Greene, Michael Connolly, Regency Boies, Chuck Rayner, Samantha Gelnaw, Jerry Perna, Randy Louis Swiren, Ted Barba, Sherri X. Russo, Alan Davis, Susanne Sulby, Benjamin Kerr, Richard Eklund III, Matthew Michaels, Zhan Paulovich, Michelle Santiago, Svetlana Roosiparg, Sanjay Shende, Debra Efre, Barbara Tutolo, Elias Birnbaum, Anthony J Giampetro, Lindsay Schnebly, Ibrahim Syed, Madhu Narula, John G. England IV, Vlada Semenova, Richard Adams, Ian Jarrell, Rick Foster, Jason Mullen, Matt Grochowski, Fritz Blanchette, Tal Livshitz, Melissa Cooper

  Yes, it's an Academy Award-winning movie that virtually everyone adores. And while Silver Linings Playbook certainly has its high points, there's one element that is glossed over with an almost shocking disregard. Pat (Bradley Cooper) has bipolar disorder, a condition that has wreaked havoc on his mind, his life, and the lives of his family members. But when he meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), his condition seems to magically clear up. Must have been the 24-hour kind.

  Oh, and Tiffany has some sort of unspecified mental illness that makes her sexually promiscuous. This is also treated as an appealing quirk, rather than a serious issue.
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  (#6) Love Actually

  • Keira Knightley, Elisha Cuthbert, Liam Neeson, January Jones, Denise Richards, Emma Thompson, Shannon Elizabeth, Hugh Grant, Claudia Schiffer, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Billy Bob Thornton, Rowan Atkinson, Laura Linney, Martin Freeman, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Andrew Lincoln, Bill Nighy, Sienna Guillory, Rodrigo Santoro, Martine McCutcheon, Ivana Miličević, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Richard Curtis, Frances de la Tour, Joanna Page, Declan Donnelly, Nancy Sorrell, Meredith Ostrom, Anthony McPartlin, Heike Makatsch, Gregor Fisher, Michael Parkinson, Julia Davis, Kris Marshall, Anne Reid, Edward Hardwicke, Marcus Brigstocke, Lúcia Moniz, Ruby Turner, Jo Whiley, Adam Godley, Margery Mason, Nina Sosanya, Brian Bovell, Olivia Olson, John Sharian, Meg Wynn Owen, Caroline John, Sheila Allen, Abdul Salis, Jamie Edgell, Peter Marinker, Shaughan Seymour, Gillian Barge, Rebecca Frayn, Sarah Holland, Arturo Venegas, Wes Butters, David Lynden Hall, Laura Rees, Rory MacGregor, Elisabeth Margoni, Jont, Lulu Popplewell, Glenn Conroy, Tuuli, Carla Vasconcelos, Bill Moody, Nat Udom, Emma Buckley, Dan Fredenburgh, Patrick Delaney, Stewart Howson, Paul Heasman, Richard Wills-Cotton, Adrian Preater, Kate Bowes Renna, Richard Hawley, June Flewett, Tony Lucken, Ciaran O'Driscoll, William Wadham, Georgia Flint, Joanna Thaw, Frank Moorey, Michael Fitzgerald, Keir Charles, Matt Harvey, Junior Simpson, Dave Fisher, Ines Boughanmi, Katharine Bailey, Catia Duarte, Yuk Sim Yau, Tiffany Boysell, Carol Carey, Terry Reece, Doraly Rosen, Nicola McRoy, Raul Atalaia, Helen Murton, Sarah McDougall, Clare Bennett, Hélder Costa, Katherine Poulton, Billy Campbell, Paul Slack, Tim Hatwell, Kate Glover, Wyllie Longmore, Vicki Murdoch, Amanda Garwood, Gemma Aston, Alan Barnes, Joanna Bacon, Igor Urdenko, Sarah Atkinson, Colin Coull

  Mark (Andrew Lincoln) is in love with Juliet (Keira Knightley), who also happens to be his best friend's wife. This already has the makings of a super uncomfortable dynamic, but Love Actually tries to spin it as endearing. Yet the things Mark does – like pretending to be a caroler and then holding up cue cards on Juliet's front stoop, informing her that he's in love with her – are more stalkerish than sweet.

  Dude, that is your best friend's wife. Do you have such little regard for both of them that you would choose to go down this road? Even Andrew Lincoln thought the character was a "creepy stalker."
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  (#7) While You Were Sleeping

  • Sandra Bullock, Monica Keena, Bill Pullman, Ally Walker, Peter Boyle, Jack Warden, Peter Gallagher, Glynis Johns, Rick Worthy, Michael Rispoli, Jason Bernard, Dick Cusack, Mike Bacarella, Susan Messing, Peter Siragusa, Margaret Travolta, Micole Mercurio, Shea Farrell, Kate Reinders, Bernie Landis, Marc Grapey, Gene Janson, Ann Whitney, Dobie Maxwell, Marcia Wright, Kevin Gudahl, Richard Pickren, Thomas Q. Morris, Megan Schaiper, James Krag, Krista Lally, Ruth Rudnick, Joel Hatch

  While You Were Sleeping was one of the first films to turn Sandra Bullock into American rom-com royalty. Too bad the movie is patently ridiculous, and it features a horrible central character with an alarming lack of principles and decency.

  Lucy (Bullock) is practically obsessed with a man named Peter (Peter Gallagher), to whom she's never spoken. After he slips into a coma, Lucy tells Peter's loved ones she is his fiancée, and she's welcomed into the family. Then she falls in love with his brother Jack (Bill Pullman), and things get even messier from there. The happily-ever-after of While You Were Sleeping feels like anything but. Who would want this unhinged liar as an in-law?
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  (#8) Pretty Woman

  • Julia Roberts, Richard Gere, Hank Azaria, Jason Alexander, Amy Yasbeck, Laura San Giacomo, Garry Marshall, Larry Miller, Ralph Bellamy, Héctor Elizondo, Elinor Donahue, Bill Applebaum, Charles Minsky, Alex Hyde-White, Al Sapienza, James Patrick Stuart, Dey Young, Larry Hankin, Amzie Strickland, Norman Large, Tommy Nolan, Walter Stacy Keach, Tracy Reiner, Frank Campanella, Kathleen Marshall, Lloyd Nelson, Abdul Salaam El Razzac, Billy Gallo, Patrick Richwood, Lynda Goodfriend, Rodney Kageyama, Judith Baldwin, Lucinda Crosby, Valorie Armstrong, Scott Marshall, Jimmy Dunne, Jackie O'Brien, John David Carson, Julie Paris, Mariann Aalda, Robyn Peterson, Steve Restivo, Reed Anthony, Carol Williard, Allan Kent, Marty Nadler, Lloyd T. Williams, Don Feldstein, Jeff Michalski, Jason Randal, Calvin Remsberg, Gary Greene, Tracy Bjork, Michael French, Nancy Locke, R.C. Everbeck, Randall Rutledge, Blair Richwood, Mychael Bates, Laurelle Mehus, Harvey Keenan, Rhonda Hansome, Douglas Stitzel, R. Darrell Hunter, Minda Burr, Daniel Bardol, Bruce Eckstut, Cheri Caspari, Karin Calabro, Shane Ross

  Vivian (Julia Roberts) is a tacky hooker. Edward (Richard Gere) is a humorless businessman. Somehow, opposites attract, they fall in love, and they live happily ever after. Typical rom-com kind of formula. But wait.

  Did anyone notice that Edward only falls for Vivian after he transforms her into the kind of woman he is attracted to? Or that Vivian totally and willingly changes everything about herself to please Edward? Pretty Woman is not a love story; it is a power story, and it is fantasy material for a lot of straight guys. It's about how a man reshapes a woman into his perfect image of the female ideal, and in the process, "saves" her from prostitution and makes her a kept woman. Which, when you think about it, is just prostitution by another name.
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  (#9) Sabrina

  • Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart, William Holden, Martha Hyer, Ellen Corby, Marcel Dalio, John Williams, Francis X. Bushman, Walter Hampden, Nella Walker, Marcel Hillaire, Joan Vohs

  Both the 1954 original and the 1995 remake of Sabrina are chock-full of class discrepancies and unevolved thinking. There's a lot of the old, "people from this class shouldn't mix with that class" garbage. At one point, Sabrina's father tells her, "I like to think of life as a limousine. Though we are all riding together, we must remember our places. There's a front seat and a back seat and a window in between."

  Yeah, Sabrina, be content with your "place." Good fathering there, Dad.
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  (#10) Sleepless in Seattle

  • Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Rosie O'Donnell, Rob Reiner, Rita Wilson, David Hyde Pierce, Frances Conroy, Bill Pullman, Carey Lowell, Victor Garber, Gaby Hoffmann, Caroline Aaron, Calvin Trillin, Dana Ivey, Michael Badalucco, Tom McGowan, Robert Minkoff, Ross Malinger, LaTanya Richardson, Linda Wallem, Barbara Garrick, Tom Riis Farrell, Brian McConnachie, Tom Tammi, John Boylan, Sidney Armus, Victor Morris, Stephen Mellor, Nicky Taylor, Kevin O'Morrison, Le Clanché du Rand, Philip Levy, Chris Byrne, Jeff Mazzola, Donald J. Lee, Jr., Mary A. Kelly, Diane Sokolow, Julie Janney, Rich Hawkins, Scott Duthie, Jason Bortz, Philip Anagnos, Valerie Wright, Marguerite Schertle, Butch Stevenson, Tamara Plank, Robert Livingston, Philip Mihalski, Matt Smith, Hannah Cox, Amanda Maher, Tony Zazula

  Sleepless in Seattle is about a woman named Annie (Meg Ryan) who falls in love with a widower named Sam (Tom Hanks) after hearing his son call in to a radio advice show. Annie, though, is engaged, and also lives all the way across the country from the guy. Regardless, she flies all the way out to Seattle to stare at him from across the road, and eventually makes a plan for them to meet at the Empire State Building – even though she's never met or spoken to Sam.

  This is a potentially dangerous situation for anyone to get involved in. These two are straight-up strangers. It's even creepier when you consider Annie's stalker-like behavior. In real life, most of what happens in Sleepless would only be attempted by the crazy or the stupid.
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  (#11) Clueless

  • Alicia Silverstone, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Stacey Dash, Wallace Shawn, Billy West, Donald Faison, Mike Judge, Amy Heckerling, Breckin Meyer, Dan Hedaya, Jeremy Sisto, Nicole Bilderback, Julie Brown, Carl Gottlieb, Jace Alexander, John Kricfalusi, Elisa Donovan, Twink Caplan, Sam Maccarone, Joseph D. Reitman, Roger Kabler, Micki Duran, Michael Klesic, Gregg Russell, Jermaine Montell, Justin Walker, Aida Linares, Ron Orbach, Sean Holland, Herb Hall, Bobbie Sunday Starr, Josh Lozoff, Christopher E. Cooper, Danielle Eckert, Anthony Beninati, Susan Mohun, Craig Ponder, Sabastian Rashidi

  After 16-year-old Cher (Alicia Silverstone) gets a crush on a new classmate who she later learns is gay, she instead ends up finding love with her stepbrother (Paul Rudd). Actually, it's her former stepbrother since their parents are no longer married. But one has to assume that Cher and Josh had at least some kind of sibling-like relationship at some point in the past. Which makes the whole falling-in-love thing that much more unsettling.

  Also, Cher is 16 and Josh is in college, which is technically illegal. Why Cher's family or gaggle of trendy, opinionated friends don't interfere in any of this is a mystery, other than the fact that such interference would ruin the (gross) rom-com vibe.
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  (#12) 50 First Dates

  • Drew Barrymore, Adam Sandler, Dan Aykroyd, Rob Schneider, Maya Rudolph, Kevin James, Sean Astin, Missi Pyle, Kristin Bauer van Straten, Blake Clark, Amy Hill, Lusia Strus

  Lucy (Drew Barrymore) has short-term memory loss after getting in a car accident. Every day, she must relearn her life all over again, so Henry (Adam Sandler), who is in love with Lucy, must make her fall for him with each new day.

  Sounds sweet, right? Not so fast. Imagine waking up with a man you've never seen before and having him try to convince you that the two of you are in love. There's a word for that: brainwashing. Surely there are more positive and helpful ways to support someone with a traumatic brain injury?

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