Random Rom-Com Plots That Are Actually Stuff Of Nightmares (12 items)

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  (#4) Overboard

  • Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall, Katherine Helmond, Edward Herrmann, Mike Hagerty, Frank Buxton, Frank Campanella, Rielle Hunter, Jared Rushton, Jeffrey Wiseman, Doris Hess, Carol Williard, Henry Alan Miller, Brian Price, Jamie Wild

  A snotty rich heiress (Goldie Hawn) falls off a boat and gets amnesia. A local carpenter (Kurt Russell) she once stiffed on a job sees her story on the news and tells her she is his wife. To get back at her, he then practically enslaves her, making her keep house and home while raising his brood of brats.

  Seen from this perspective, is Overboard in any way romantic? Or even a comedy? It is much more sinister than its rom-com façade would have you believe: a man turns a woman into his personal slave as his own brand of twisted revenge. And worst of all? They fall in love at the end. Stockholm Syndrome, anyone?
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  (#9) Sabrina

  • Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart, William Holden, Martha Hyer, Ellen Corby, Marcel Dalio, John Williams, Francis X. Bushman, Walter Hampden, Nella Walker, Marcel Hillaire, Joan Vohs

  Both the 1954 original and the 1995 remake of Sabrina are chock-full of class discrepancies and unevolved thinking. There's a lot of the old, "people from this class shouldn't mix with that class" garbage. At one point, Sabrina's father tells her, "I like to think of life as a limousine. Though we are all riding together, we must remember our places. There's a front seat and a back seat and a window in between."

  Yeah, Sabrina, be content with your "place." Good fathering there, Dad.
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  (#12) 50 First Dates

  • Drew Barrymore, Adam Sandler, Dan Aykroyd, Rob Schneider, Maya Rudolph, Kevin James, Sean Astin, Missi Pyle, Kristin Bauer van Straten, Blake Clark, Amy Hill, Lusia Strus

  Lucy (Drew Barrymore) has short-term memory loss after getting in a car accident. Every day, she must relearn her life all over again, so Henry (Adam Sandler), who is in love with Lucy, must make her fall for him with each new day.

  Sounds sweet, right? Not so fast. Imagine waking up with a man you've never seen before and having him try to convince you that the two of you are in love. There's a word for that: brainwashing. Surely there are more positive and helpful ways to support someone with a traumatic brain injury?
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  (#2) What Women Want

  • Mel Gibson, Marisa Tomei, Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Martha Stewart, Logan Lerman, Alan Alda, Lisa Edelstein, Judy Greer, Sarah Paulson, Lauren Holly, Ana Gasteyer, Loretta Devine, Eric Balfour, Valerie Perrine, Delta Burke, Ashley Johnson, Richard Simmons, Mark Feuerstein, Brooke Elliott, Arden Myrin, Diana-Maria Riva, Julie White, Danielle Weeks, Alexondra Lee, Alex McKenna, Audrey Wasilewski, Nnenna Freelon, T. J. Thyne, Cristine Rose, Juanita Jennings, LeShay Tomlinson, Andrea Baker, David C. Fisher, Shirley Prestia, Christopher Emerson, Kiva Dawson, Lisa Long, Nicki Sixteen, Alexandria Lakewood, Hallie Meyers-Shyer, Angela Oh, Tracy Pacheco, Kelley Hazen, Robin Pearson Rose, Kathrin Lautner Middleton, Caryn Greenhut, Dean Teaster, Kelly Cooper, Elizabeth Friedman, Andi Eystad, Rachel Duncan, Drew Howerton, Sierra Pecheur, Nancy Sinclair, Ashlee Turner, Andy Schofield, Nancy Wetzel, Maggie Egan, Victoria Kelleher, Coby Goss, Gil Hacohen, Kimberly Lyon, Tracey Stone, Kelsey Oldershaw, Katie Miller, Gregory Cupoli, Aviva Gale, Katie Kneeland, Bobbi Miller-Moro, Melinda Songer, Joe Petchka, Robert Briscoe Evans, Kate Asner, Marnie Mosiman, Heidi Helmer, Palmer Davis, Jennifer Greenhut, Jon Frazier, Grace O'Neill, Jeanine O'Connell, Regiane Gorski, Christian Michel, Jamie Gutterman, Ashley Quirico, Robin Nance, Lisa Anne Hillman, Gertrude Wong, Dana Waters, Liz Tannebaum, Krista McRoberts, Laura Quicksilver, Harmony Rousseau, Regan Rohde, Juliandra Gillen, Sally Meyers Kovler, Nancy Monsarat, Marla Martensen, Kristine Perchetti, Jacqueline Thomas, Perry Cavitt, Kristina Martin, Brian Callaway, Crystal McKinney, Rory Rubin, Chris Rolfes, Jeanne Renick, Heidi Merrick, Norman H. Smith

  What Women Want is troubling even before you remember it stars Mel Gibson. Gibson plays a man who can read what women are thinking, a trait that would be downright scary if it were to happen in real life. Imagine all the ways the Mel Gibsons of the world could terrorize women with their ability to read minds.

  There's also a lot of other ickiness going on in What Women Want. Many of the female characters are borderline offensive. For example, Gibson's character cannot read the thoughts of his two female assistants BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ANY THOUGHTS. How did this movie gross over $374 million?
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  (#1) My Best Friend's Wedding

  • Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Rupert Everett, Cameron Diaz, Paul Giamatti, Rachel Griffiths, Harry Shearer, Carrie Preston, Susan Sullivan, Bree Turner, M. Emmet Walsh, Philip Bosco, Christopher Masterson, Chelcie Ross, Paul Adelstein, Charlie Trotter, Rose Abdoo, Mike Bacarella, Robert Minkoff, Davenia McFadden, Joe Sikora, Burton Zucker, Charlotte Zucker, Nydia Rodriguez Terracina, Reese Foster, Anh Duong, Daisy Alexandra Sylbert-Torres, Lucy Pacquet, Ned Schmidtke, Gene Janson, Susan Breslau, JoBe Cerny, Sid Hillman, Mara Casey, Chris Lowe, Jerod Howard, Mary-Pat Green, Johnny White, Patricia E. Harrington, Mark Swenson, Kathi Copeland, Dominic Testa, Renata Scott, Tonray Ho, Amy Danles, Phillip Ingram, Jennifer McComb, Jo Farkas, Kevin Michael Doyle, Ray Uhler, Maridean Mansfield Shepard, Eric A. Pot, Molly Murphy, Anne Spradley-Montie, Kelly Sheerin, Leon 'Lee' Fuller, Shirley Kelly, Stephanie Burton, Jennifer Garrett, Shale Marks, Robert Velo, Michelle Hutchison, Norman Merrill, Raci Alexander, Larry Santori, George Bozonelos, Robert Sutter, Loretta Paoletti, Guillermo Tellez, Sharon Haight, Scott Kuhagen, Aida Baggio, Cassie Creasy

  Julianne (Julia Roberts) in My Best Friend's Wedding is supposed to be charming and goofy. Instead, she is despicable. The movie has its moments; Julianne's klutziness, for example, is always funny. But even expert pratfalls can't save her rotten character.

  Realizing she's been in love with her best friend (Dermot Mulroney) for years, Julianne sets out to stop his wedding. And not just stop it, but destroy the wedding and the lives of her supposed best friend and his fiancée. Julianne puts everyone through hell for one long wedding weekend, leaving emotional wreckage in her wake, and yet she's totally, inexplicably, forgiven by the time the credits roll.

  If My Best Friend's Wedding were a Lifetime movie and Julianne were played by Tori Spelling, it would be a really bad thriller. Instead, it's just a really bad rom-com.
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  (#8) Pretty Woman

  • Julia Roberts, Richard Gere, Hank Azaria, Jason Alexander, Amy Yasbeck, Laura San Giacomo, Garry Marshall, Larry Miller, Ralph Bellamy, Héctor Elizondo, Elinor Donahue, Bill Applebaum, Charles Minsky, Alex Hyde-White, Al Sapienza, James Patrick Stuart, Dey Young, Larry Hankin, Amzie Strickland, Norman Large, Tommy Nolan, Walter Stacy Keach, Tracy Reiner, Frank Campanella, Kathleen Marshall, Lloyd Nelson, Abdul Salaam El Razzac, Billy Gallo, Patrick Richwood, Lynda Goodfriend, Rodney Kageyama, Judith Baldwin, Lucinda Crosby, Valorie Armstrong, Scott Marshall, Jimmy Dunne, Jackie O'Brien, John David Carson, Julie Paris, Mariann Aalda, Robyn Peterson, Steve Restivo, Reed Anthony, Carol Williard, Allan Kent, Marty Nadler, Lloyd T. Williams, Don Feldstein, Jeff Michalski, Jason Randal, Calvin Remsberg, Gary Greene, Tracy Bjork, Michael French, Nancy Locke, R.C. Everbeck, Randall Rutledge, Blair Richwood, Mychael Bates, Laurelle Mehus, Harvey Keenan, Rhonda Hansome, Douglas Stitzel, R. Darrell Hunter, Minda Burr, Daniel Bardol, Bruce Eckstut, Cheri Caspari, Karin Calabro, Shane Ross

  Vivian (Julia Roberts) is a tacky hooker. Edward (Richard Gere) is a humorless businessman. Somehow, opposites attract, they fall in love, and they live happily ever after. Typical rom-com kind of formula. But wait.

  Did anyone notice that Edward only falls for Vivian after he transforms her into the kind of woman he is attracted to? Or that Vivian totally and willingly changes everything about herself to please Edward? Pretty Woman is not a love story; it is a power story, and it is fantasy material for a lot of straight guys. It's about how a man reshapes a woman into his perfect image of the female ideal, and in the process, "saves" her from prostitution and makes her a kept woman. Which, when you think about it, is just prostitution by another name.

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