Random People Share Weirdest Things They Do With Their SOs (28 items)

• (#1) Quite A Surprise

  From Redditor u/alternativenarrative:

  We play a game called Surprise Bum. It’s pretty simple. To ‘win’ all you have to do is catch the other off guard with your naked a**.

  So say, I’m on the sofa reading a book. He’ll yell out ‘hey have you seen my keys?’ Naturally I turn around to direct my answer at him and - BAM - there he is with his back to me, hands on hips and pants around his ankles, yelling ‘SURPRISE BUM!’.
• (#2) R-Rated Pictionary

  From Redditor u/Danz322:

  [Phallic] drawings. I don’t remember who started it but we hide the same [phallic] drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks. When I returned I hid in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven’t found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I’ll find it eventually but I’m afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.
• (#3) Bready Or Not

  From Redditor u/ThirdFloorNorth:

  Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her "Shhhhh be bread, it's okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it's okay to become bread" while she cackled and screamed "I DON'T WANT TO BE BREAD."
• (#4) A New Form Of Communication

  From Redditor u/Banana_Turtle_:

  Probably “kissy sonar”.

  I am a very extroverted woman and need my existence to be acknowledged every once in awhile. My wife is extremely introverted so conversations constantly are a big no no. So we make kissing noises around the house every now and then as a kind of “I love you, everything’s fine over here- you ok?” A kissy back and we both continue doing our own thing in silence. No kissy back means trying a louder kissy noise, waiting 5 seconds, and wandering out to make sure everything is ok.

  Everyone gets what they want. I feel like I’m being paid attention to, she’s not overburdened by talking with me or doing something together, but we still are connected.

  Edit: This does have the downside of forgetting I am in different company and making kissy noises at my boss or friends during a period of silence. My boss did the kissy sonar back absentmindedly and then had a “wtf did I just do” face. We now rib one another about it.
• (#5) Complex But Creative

  From Redditor u/joeyboii23:

  Me and my girlfriend have started using very random and increasing complex pet names when we answer a phonecall from one another. Its so often now that sometimes i'll forget and in public loudly answer with "hello my Persian tropical icecream sweety watermelon minx." Or something to that effect, it changes everytime.
• (#6) Their Own Whistle Language

  From Redditor u/stooney:

  What started as a simple whistle to get the others attention has turned into a full blown second language consisting of nothing but whistles. ‘Hello’ is a simple high tone whistle followed by a slightly lower tone whistle. To properly say ‘hello’ back you must respond with an even higher pitched whistle sequence or a slightly lower pitched sequence.

  ‘Warning:danger or distress’ is three high pitched whistles. A sad whistle is one that starts high then quickly goes to a low tone.

  We’ve legit had phone conversations where we whistle at each other and laugh for 10 minutes. We thought we were insane (still are but) until realizing there are cultures out there that whistle poetry to each other and that whistling may have been the first way peeps communicated with each other.

  Edit: alright well this blew up. The best way to describe it as some of you have is R2D2 language, which is hilariously accurate.
• (#7) When Monsters Enter Adulthood

  From Redditor u/MonocromeRainbow:

  We have a 'Kiss Monster' (spoiler alert: it's me with a blanket over my head), that visits my SO every now and gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night.

  We have never acknowledged that I am in fact, the Kiss Monster.
• (#8) Love Is Pain

  From Redditor u/octopusboots:

  We have a 17 year running game of stealthily pinning a clothespin to the other's clothes. Sometimes, no clothespin for months, and then bam. One in your armpit.
• (#9) That's One Impressive Cat

  From Redditor u/undergroundramen:

  We make up very elaborate stories about our cats lives.

  “Where’s Big Cat?”

  “Oh, she’s in Taipei today consulting with the Ukrainian Ambassador about the current standing of the silver industry. She’ll be back later though because tomorrow she’s chartering to Mars at 0600.”
• (#10) Racecar Backwards Is Still Racecar

  From Redditor u/vinoKwine:

  Dated a Swede for a few years. When he taught me how to say I Love You in Swedish, Jag Älskar Dig, I remembered how to pronounce it by saying it as Jog Racecar Day. For the rest of our relationship whenever we wanted to say “love you” or would give each other cards etc, we would just say Racecar.
• (#11) The Carl Wash Express

  From Redditor u/omfgchella:

  While we're in the shower he'll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he's rubbing the soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this "Carl wash" cause its like a car wash for me, but my nick name is Carl n he's washing me off hehe.
• (#12) A Symbol Of Wealth And Love

  From Redditor u/emt1986:

  He absolutely must touch my butt at least once every time we go to Walmart. I can't even remember how this started, but it's totally f*cking weird if we forget.

  And Floor Dollar. A dollar bill that had fallen out of one of our pockets in the washer, and consequently fell down into the crack between the machines when I was transferring the clothes to the dryer. We both ignored it for like year because we were too lazy to use a broom or whatever to fish it out, and then one of us finally acknowledged it to the other. We decided to leave it there as a symbol of our wealth; we've never been down to our last dollar. It now has a quarter for a friend.
• (#13) True Annoyance

  From Redditor u/clemboy500:

  We often just stand in each other's way for no reason other than to be annoying.
• (#14) A Nightly Ritual

  From Redditor u/HappyKlutz:

  We have a thing called “squishy face”. Every night after we kiss goodnight we smoosh our cheeks together while making a “murrrrr” sound. It’s weird but it’s stuck and it feels like bad Juju if we don’t do it.

  Also we have family cuddles with our cat. Hubs holds the cat upside down like a baby while I cuddle them both and we both tell the cat how beautiful he is.
• (#15) Hadouken!

  From Redditor u/Choccy_Nanoodly:

  We stand like three feet away from each other and make Street Fighter idle animations at each other for minutes on end.
• (#16) Owl You Need Is Love

  From Redditor u/illithfair4:

  We hoot like owls at each other and call each other 'hooter' as pet names. It started shortly after we got together and neither of us can remember how. But we'll be sitting in silence, each doing our own thing, and one of us will just say "hoot!' into the quiet, and the other replies in kind. It's sort of a "Doing good? Me too. Love you." thing.
• (#17) Rock, Paper, Kisses

  From Redditor u/Toasterinthetub22:

  We invented rock, paper, scissors with kissing!

  Mouth closed= Rock

  Mouth open= Paper

  Tongue sticking out= Scissors

  It devolved in to doing it randomly so that we could catch each other by surprise and win!
• (#18) "The Power Of Christ Compels You!"

  From Redditor u/lululemonkush:

  Sometimes he puts his mouth over my nose and blows, causing me to make a horrific, monstrous sound of air coming through my nasals and out of my mouth. We call this The Exorcism.

  It’s gross and weird but I love that we can be gross and weird together.
• (#19) Give It Back!

  From Redditor u/chronically_varelse:

  We "steal yawns" by sticking fingers in the other's mouth and touching the tongue when they yawn. We also do this to my pets.
• (#20) Pucker Up!

  From Redditor u/ask-design-reddit:

  We do 'inverted kissing'. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party's puckered up lips.

  It's like kissing the void. It feels really f*cking uncomfortable and it's hilarious. She always does it to me when I'm expecting a kiss.

  Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going 'noooo.'
• (#21) Food Babies Exist

  From Redditor u/wxnderless:

  We puff out our bellies and make them touch so that the “babies” can talk to each other. I’m not pregnant and he’s definitely not pregnant.
• (#22) No, I'M The Alpha Partner

  From Redditor u/FunkySauron:

  We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert "dominance". We use the "dominance" to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.
• (#23) Beware The Lizard Tongue

  From Redditor u/NoLifeKing_RL:

  Over the years we’ve developed a thing called lizard tongue where every so often, maybe once every few months or even once a year one of us will suddenly aggressively tongue punch the other’s mouth and then retract our tongue. This results in a slap bet situation where the lizard tonguer knows they will receive a retaliatory lizard tonging, but they don’t know when.
• (#24) Cute Yet Creepy

  From Redditor u/Dicktremain:

  We harvest each other's goosebumps.

  When one of us gets goosebumps on our skin, the other will run their hands up and down on their skin "collecting" them.
• (#25) Nothing Says "Romance" Like A Body Slam

  From Redditor u/Raaqu:

  Straight up wrestle for fun. Not like sexy way or the cute let the other one win way, but like actual competition.
• (#26) Never Break The Trust

  From Redditor u/CopperMeerkat20:

  Armpit trust. It’s the number one rule that cannot be violated, no matter how tempting it might be, you can’t poke the other’s armpit.
• (#27) A Pitch Perfect Match

  From Redditor u/ninjakaji:

  We’ll open our mouths and put our lips together, then sing a pitch and very very slightly raise and lower it together and it creates this weird vibrating dissonance with the notes.
• (#28) We Feel Sick

  From Redditor u/Leperchaun913:

  We play a game where we try and quickly put our finger in the other person's nose and then their mouth. There is a lot of grappling, sneaking, seduction, and subterfuge involved. It's made kissing a precarious endeavor. You never know when a "feed you your own boogers" attack is coming.

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