Random People Are Sharing Their Stories Of Being Mistaken For Employees (17 items)

• (#1) Helped An Old Couple And Left With A Grin

  From Redditor /u/BookwyrmsRN

  This happened several years ago. I was the night time charge nurse over the ICU. I’d just finished a 12 hour shift at my hospital that had turned into a 14 hour shift because of a rapid response right before shift change. (Patient responded well). I was exhausted and had to return for a 4th shift in 9 hours. All I wanted were some items to drop in the slow cooker so I’d have something to eat when I got up tonight.

  I stopped at a well known big box store that sells groceries, clothes, electronics.. the works.

  I’m wearing royal blue scrubs, a name badge with a big RN under it and forgot to take my stethoscope off so it’s around my neck. The employees here... well... don’t.

  As I’m walking towards the store I see an elderly couple struggling to load a large box in their SUV parked at the front of the store. And I mean old. 90+ Shaky hands. Teetering around with limited mobility. The kind I see with a med list 3 pages long... no way would his hips take the weight without snapping... and I’ve worked enough tonight.

  I approach quickly and address the female half of the couple offering help. It was gladly accepted and I got their TV loaded with very little difficulty. It was more cumbersome than heavy. I’m chatting with the woman who is explaining it’s a gift for their son and her husband hadn’t wanted to wait for help. (I’d wondered why an employee wasn’t helping.). That’s when it happened.

  I will be RN. She will be EB for entitled b*tch.

  EB: hey. Hey!

  Startled, We stop our conversation and look over. It’s a lady in her 50s dressed in a cheap looking beige pant suit with a get your manager hairstyle standing about 15 feet away with a hand on her overly broad hip.

  EB: IF you are ABOUT done. I need help over here.

  She then points to her cart with two boxes of bookshelves.. some assembly required. I realize she thinks I work here.

  RN: Oh Sorry. I don’t work...

  EB: You are already making me late! Just get it done! ...and DON’T scratch my paint up.

  The elderly lady and I exchange looks of disbelief and I try again.

  RN: I don’t work he...

  EB: Just get it done!

  She then steps away from her cart to grab her purse grumbling about “F*cking idiots” and is digging for her keys when the cart rolls further away and one wheel goes off the curb. The entire uneven load causes the cart to topple over. I instinctively jump forward to try to prevent everything from falling...

  I was unsuccessful. EB, who has now turned to see her particle board bookshelves spilled out on the cement. Corners of the boxes smashed and one has torn open with a few pieces and packaging now exposed. EB completely loses her sh*t.

  EB: What the f*ck! You f*cking moron! Pick them up! God d*mnit. F*cking... I’m going to have you fired! You owe me new bookshelves! And I’m late!

  At this point. I’m done.

  RN: Pick them up yourself! I Don’t Work Here!

  I then turn to go inside when I feel her grab my sleeve and try to yank me around. I jerk my sleeve out of out of grip and turn to face her now violently red face. She opens her mouth to start screaming again but I put my finger in her face and say...

  RN: No! Don’t touch me! Shut the hell up! I do not work here, and even if I did. I’d quit before I help you clean up your sh*t!

  EB stands there speechless. Mouth opening and closing. Sputtering in shock that I’ve dared raise MY voice at HER.

  That’s when the manager and an employee come out. As EB sees the manager and finds her voice.

  EB: Are you the manager? This man damaged my bookshelves and is refusing to pay for them.

  I just stare in shock. Seriously?! Having realized that a man in bright blue scrubs with a stethoscope and a big RN badge really doesn’t work here. Instead of apologizing, she chooses to double down on the craziness and now accuses me of breaking her stuff.

  Before I can voice my denial the elderly gentleman I’d helped earlier steps in and explains the situation to the manager. EB is still voicing complaints but the manager realizes the real situation and apologizes to me and the couple.

  I’m still standing by watching angrily as the manager deals with EB and inspects the bookshelves. They are not damaged. He offers her two new boxes but EB is now done with the whole situation. She says no. She’s already to late because of me. Just glares over at me and says to the manager

  EB: Just load them. I’m already late enough because of this!

  The manager and employee then lift the boxes up and get them wedged into the ladies car.

  As I shake my head and go to enter the store I’m stopped by the elderly lady I’d helped earlier.

  Lady: Sir. Thank you so much for helping us with the TV. I’m so sorry some people are so rude.

  She then reaches for my hand to shake. As she folds both her fragile hands around mine, I can feel something in her palm she’s giving me.

  Lady whispering: Don’t look yet. Wait till she leaves.

  I slide the package into my scrub pocket and Lady walks away. EB then gets in her car and (without apologizing or thanking anyone) peels out and drives away.

  I finally enter the store to grab my food items and when I reach in my pocket I pull out a plastic bag with a bunch of screws and hardware.

  I realize immediately that the sweet little old lady took advantage of the commotion to take the hardware out of EB’s ripped box.

  I couldn’t believe it. I had the biggest grin on my face as I did my shopping. And I have a new petty revenge hero to idolize.
• (#2) She Threw Her Cart At A Jaguar

  From Redditor /u/vita_est

  I work at a hospital as an ER nurse, which means when I start at 7am, by nine in the morning all the f*cks I possess are gone and by the end of my 12.5 hour shift I’m pretty much just done with people in general (don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but fighting Darwinism can be exhausting).

  So after a rather grueling shift I stopped by the grocery store for dinner. I’m tired, and feeling super lazy at this point so even though I’m only grabbing a couple of things I use a regular cart (coz, you know, I can lean on it). I do my shopping, pay for my goods and head out to my truck. Just to inform, no khakis were involved here. Store employees wear dark brown slacks, white collared shirts and ties. I was wearing an Incredible’s scrub top (yes the animated movie, no you can’t judge me) and bright blue scrub pants.

  After loading my groceries I, of course, return my wheeled crutch (ahem, shopping cart) to the corral and return to my truck when a harpy with a RBF that would make Louis from Malcom in the Middle proud screams across the lot.

  (M) Me (H) Harpy

  H: Boy! I’m done you can take my cart now!

  M: Huh?

  (I know I look young but, really? Boy?)

  H: Come over here and take my cart!

  M: yeah I don’t work here, sorry.

  H: just do your d*mn job and take my cart!

  M: that’s gonna be a hard no from me, sorry.

  I start (again) back towards my truck. Harpy at this point decides to thrust her cart towards me. It rolls (as carts with wheels are wont to do) and to me, it’s like a train wreck. I want to look away but I can’t, I’m mesmerized by the free range movement of this cart as it runs right into a Jaguar... a nice clean one... with dealer plaques still on where the license plates should be... and a woman who totally looked like a Karen (you know the type) just getting out...

  The Karen obviously starts screaming and hollering as only a Karen can. Harpy is trying to blame me for not running out to catch the cart. I’m trying very hard not to start laughing. I finally get back to my truck as Harpy is screaming at me to stop because this is my fault coz I should have collected her cart in the first place. The last thing I heard before closing my door and driving off was the Karen screaming at Harpy about how “he’s f*cking wearing scrubs! How could any idiot think he works here?”

  I think this was the first time I’ve ever rooted for a Karen.
• (#3) He Was A Big, Peaceful Giant

  From Redditor /u/poweredbyweirdhumor

  My husband is a peaceful giant. He is 6 ft 5 and can look quite imposing even though he really is a teddy bear. Never stressed or aggressive, never overreacting our raising his voice, just a peaceful giant.

  So here we are, at the grocery shop, with our 6 mo baby shopping for food and whatnot. It is winter in Canada (so, you know, cold) and we are both wearing our coats. The kid is fussy and nothing really calms him except when we carry him in our arms. It is my turn and my husband is going back and forth gathering what we need and bringing the items to our cart when the banshee-from-hell (BFH from now on) got in his face (figure of speech, she was like 5 ft 2) and started yelling at him.

  BFH: ARE YOU DONE? You've been helping her FOREVER and I NEED HELP! NOW!

  Husband: (with his smooth everything-is-good kind of tone) I'm so sorry (we're Canadians), but I'm afraid I do not work here...

  BFH: BULLSH*T! I just saw you help HER shopping. NOW, you help ME! AND YOU DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME!

  Husband: But...

  BFH: STOP! Don't talk to me unless it is to thank me. Are we clear?

  My husband sees me boiling and about to interfere but makes a sign that's says he is going to deal with it. He then calmly look at her with a smile.

  BFH: (smuggling) GOOD! Now, help me grab the last (item I don't remember, probably some king of condiment) on this high shelve. WHY IN HELL you people always put the stuff I need so high is BEYOND me. Now, chop-chop!

  My husband grabs the item, but instead of giving it to her, he keeps it just a tiny bit out of her reach. He looks at it and then at me.

  Husband: (grining) Honey, do we need (condiment)?

  Me: (catching on) Well, as a matter of fact, yes! We do!

  Lady: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU GIVE HER MY STUFF! IT'S MY STUFF! GIVE IT TO ME!!!

  Super slowly, my husband gets closer to the lady. He is so imposing that she calms down immediately. With the biggest of smile and the most polite voice ever, he says to her:

  Husband: Again, I do not work here... but thank you for showing me (condiment). We were about to forget it.

  And with that, he puts the item in our cart, grabs the baby and together, we left. In the background, the lady howling some profanities. All three of us smiling. I love my husband.
• (#4) She Stole His Milk

  From Redditor /u/Crimson6alpha

  I was out at a local grocery, just doing a basic food run.

  While walking past the milk coolers I grabbed the last two pint bottles of chocolate milk. As I let the door to the cooler close and put the bottles in my cart I notice a rather hefty woman standing a tad too close to me. As I start walking away I hear her say “where are you taking those?”

  Unaware she was talking to me I kept walking. Next thing I know my upper arm is grabbed and pulled. Now for reference, I’m about 6’2”, built like a brick sh*thouse, and generally a fairly bristly person (so I’m sure my demeanor didn’t help the situation.) At first I just sort of stared at her almost surprised that she had the gall to act this way with a stranger that looks like I do.

  HW: I said where are you taking those?

  Me: what?

  HW: what are you doing with those chocolate milks?

  Me: buying them?

  HW: ok well first off, lose the attitude, and second, I’m sure you’re supposed to let customers have them and not take them for yourself.

  Now at this point I will point out that it took me some time to realize that she thought I worked there because the uniform for this store is red shirts and khaki pants. I was wearing tan pants, a red white and blue flannel, and a brown jacket.

  Me: what are you talking about?

  HW: those were the last two milks. Give them to me.

  Me: oh f*ck off.

  I then walk away a few aisles down to look at soups. I step a few feet away from my cart, so as not to block other people trying to come through the aisle, when I see movement in my periphery. I figure it’s her and decide it’s best to just laser focus on the soup and ignore her. After waiting for a bit and sensing her leave, I go back to my cart and immediately notice my milks are gone. I’m now in a sort of mood where the next person that talks to me could be Tom Hanks and I’d probably be rude.

  I continue my shopping when the woman comes walking over with an employee, I’m assuming a manager. She shoves a one of her sausage fingers in my face and shouts about how “this is the employee that took my groceries and told me to f*ck off. I want him fired NOW.”

  Now that I had realized what was going on I just about lost it:

  Me: I don’t f*cking work here you moron.

  Manager: woah, hey now.

  HW: see what I mean? Fire him.

  Manager: ma’am he doesn’t work here.

  HW: then why did he say he did?!

  Me: I DIDNT!

  HW: you’d better watch your tone my husband is-

  At this point the woman was cut off (though I am genuinely curious as to what her husband was. An eggplant farmer? As big of a jerk as her? The world may never know) by another store employee, this one wearing a black shirt and khaki pants, although the shirt had the store logo on it. I believe he was their asset protection employee.

  AP: ma’am may I look in your bag?

  HW: what? No. Why?

  Manager: what’s up Greg?(not his real name)

  AP: was watching the monitors, saw her take something out of this guys cart and put it in her bag.

  At this point I start laughing.

  HW: (to me) screw you! (To the employees) I was going to pay, I just didn’t want him trying to take them back!

  I start to walk up to the front so I can pay and leave. As I get there I notice a couple local police officers walking in and an employee point them offer to the guy in the black shirt who is now walking the woman up front as well. As they walk past me towards a back office I hear one of them explaining to the woman who is now in hysterics that “yes ma’am just hiding them in your purse constitutes retail fraud.”

  I then left, wanting nothing more to do with this lady. Moral of the story: play stupid b*tch games, win stupid b*tch prizes.
• (#5) He Cut Her In Line To The Bathroom Because He Thought She Worked There

  From Redditor /u/pdxcranberry

  My buddy was taking me out to a fancy French restaurant as a treat and I was pretty gussied up. I really enjoy getting dolled up and wearing a beautiful dress to enjoy a wonderful meal. However, the city in which I live (Portland, Oregon) has a reputation for diners dressing down, even in fine dining restaurants. It’s a running joke among locals. You’ll go into a restaurant where a couple will easily drop a couple hundo on one meal and over half the room are wearing hiking clothes or yoga pants. I only mention this because the staff tends to be better dressed than the clientele. I was wearing all black with my hair in an elaborate up-do and chandelier earrings. I think the all black is what started everything.

  This particular restaurant has a well-known (and frankly down-right foxy) chef who typically works at a station expoing and plating where everybody can see him. It’s also near the door to the only washroom and the server station. It’s a huge restaurant and with only the one washroom, there was a bit of a line. I waited and waited and at one point I think the chef and I exchanged a few pleasantries. When I was next in line a middle-aged man in a Portland-issue plaid button up and jeans got in line behind me. He had cranky energy and was shifting from foot-to-foot. It didn’t seem like he had to go badly, just that he was impatient. I had been waiting much, much longer than him and found his constant sighing and scoffing irritating.

  When it was my turn I reached for the door only to have this awful man push in front of me and nearly knock me over shoving himself into the open door. I was so taken aback I just sort of froze and said, “excuse me I was next.” Which is when he wheeled around started YELLING about how he wasn’t about to wait while, “some waitress changed her tampon.” And then yelled at the chef that he should have a staff bathroom, because it’s “disgusting” that the staff use the same bathroom as guests and implied he might not pay for his meal because of it.

  I stood there in absolute shock (and a full bladder) while this man took care of his business. Clearly taking his sweet time out of spite. Maybe. Something about his personality made me think he hadn’t taken a normal sh*t in years. The chef apologized to me and a waiter who had been at the server station commiserated.

  I decided f*ck it. I DON’T work here, but even if I did there is no reason to be treated like I’m not a human. Seriously, dude. You’re wearing muddy Teva sandals and suddenly acting like we’re in f*cking Downton Abbey.

  When he came out I used my entire body to block his path out of the bathroom and gave him a stern, but quiet lecture about how a) I actually wasn’t an employee and b) there is nothing wrong with sharing the bathroom with the staff and told him that he had ruined what should have been a special night out.

  Again, this all happened in full view of the entire kitchen staff and several members of the wait staff. I hadn’t realized it at time, but this jerk was actually seated directly next to my friend on the banquet. His female dining companion was sitting next to me. I had been gone easily twenty minutes and my friend was confused and annoyed. I figured at that point I had nothing to lose, so I loudly explained what happened while gesturing to the awful man and making pointed eye contact with the woman. The man looked furious and the woman just silently glared at him.

  After a few minutes the waiter wordlessly dropped their check. They were mid-meal and hadn’t been offered dessert. It was clearly a very pointed, but polite, “f*ck you, get out” from the staff after his rant. They paid without incident and as they got up to leave he tried to put his hand on her shoulder only to have her jerk away and say, “don’t touch me.” TFW you realize your partner is a complete jacka** who got you thrown out of a restaurant for screaming about tampons.

  We got a cheese plate and glasses of sparkling rose as a gift from the restaurant. Cheers!
• (#6) She Called Him To Prove She Lived There

  From Redditor /u/Eudemon

  Background: I'm a small Chinese woman living in a predominately white neighbourhood. Our house have a large front yard, and we like to do the gardening ourselves. I don't speak with an accent, and I usually use a very English name for easy communication. I called for an free estimate from a local duct-cleaning service, and scheduled it on a Saturday.

  My mom and I were in the front yard planting flowers and deweeding, chatting family stuff in our own language while enjoying the nice weather outside. We were in full gardening gear complete with straw hats and rain boots with face masks on. A white truck with a trailer drove up and a mid-aged man jumped out.

  Guy - (waving me down) Hey! Where is the owner of the house?

  Me - (pulling down my mask) Oh, you must be the duct-cleaning service, please come in with me.

  Guy - (annoyed) No, I need to speak with the landlord.

  Me - (chuckles) I am the landlord. Do you need to come in the house for the esti-

  Guy - (cuts me off) No, I need to speak to the person who made the call!

  Me - (pulling out my phone) Ok, hold on. (dialing the company number)

  Guy - (pulling out his phone) See? The landlord is calling me.

  Me - Hi, I'm english name. I'm standing right in front of you. I don't think I will be needing your services today. Goodbye.

  The guy stood there dumbstruck for a moment, then sulkily walk back to his truck and left.

  My mom looked at me confused and ask in Chinese "what was that?". I shrugged and answered "Looks like we need to call another duct-cleaning company".
• (#7) He Responded With A Harry Potter Reference And His Daughter Was Embarrassed

  From Redditor /u/BadWolf_Corporation

  My kids have the day off from school, so I took the day off from work and we had a Daddy/Daughters day. I took them out to breakfast, and then a trip to the mall.

  We started off in one of the department stores, and my daughters decided to start looking there for new outfits. Now I love my daughters, but shopping is absolutely not my thing. So while they're looking for clothes I'm standing over by one of the counters waiting and reading on my phone.

  I hear someone make a noise behind me, so I look up and there's a lady standing there with a huge armful of clothes. I figured she was heading to check out so I moved over to the side of the counter. She says "Excuse me", and I figured she's talking to one of the employees. A few seconds later she yells "EXCUSE ME!", and I look up to see what's going on. That's when I realized she was talking to me.

  By this time, people are staring at us, including my daughters. This is the rest of the encounter: Me = Me. CL = Cuckoo Lady.

  Me: "Yeah?"

  CL: "Don't 'yeah me'. Take these, I don't want any of them." She sticks the clothes out towards me.

  Me: "Yeah, I don't work here."

  CL: "I don't care what department you work in, take the d*mn clothes."

  Now on any other day, I would've simply told her to piss off and go find someone who works there. But since I was out with my daughters, I decided to handle it a little differently.

  Me: "Excuse me?"

  CL: She's getting really pissed at this point, and she yells again: "TAKE THE GODD*MN CLOTHES!!" and this time she shoves the clothes into my chest.

  Me: I look down a the clothes for a second, and then look at her with a huge smile on my face: "Master has presented Dobby with clothes... Dobby is freeeee!" and I threw the entire pile of clothes back in her face.

  She was standing there stunned/shocked, people in the store were cracking up laughing, my oldest daughter was trying to hide because she was "soooo embarrassed" (which is nothing new). I walked over to my girls and asked if they found anything they liked. They hadn't, so we left. As we were walking out I could see CL yelling at a couple of actual employees who looked like they were doing their best not to laugh also.
• (#8) Candy Apple Lady With Surprise Ending

  From Redditor /u/seanbeedelicious

  So I went to Aldi today on my lunch break from work. I was shopping for ingredients to make hard apple cider. I found the only apple juice Aldi sold without preservatives and loaded up my cart with a dozen half gallon bottles and kept them in their cardboard boxes so they would be easier to transport. There were a few other items I needed to pick up so I pushed my cart through the store shopping for them. A woman noticed the boxes of apple juice in my cart and asked where I had found them. I had nothing better to do, so I walked her over to the apple juice display where she thanked me. Another woman immediately came up to me and asked,

  "You used to have these candy apples in the store but I can't find them. Where are they?"

  I had no idea where they were so I said, "I'm sorry, I don't know - I don't work here."

  Her eyes narrowed and she responded, "What do you mean you don't work here? I just saw you help that other person."

  Now, I am in a t-shirt and corduroy pants and don't look at all as if I would be working at this store. I could tell that this was not going to go well no matter what I said, but I attempted to be polite, "I'm sorry, ma'am. She asked me where I had found this apple juice so I showed her. I don't actually work here."

  "What do you mean you don't work here?!"

  "I don't work here. I am a customer, like you."

  "Just tell me where the candy apples are!"

  At this point it was getting weird. "I really don't know where the candy apples are. I don't work here."

  "You don't know where anything is in this store?!"

  "I know where the apple juice is."

  "WHERE ARE THE CANDY APPLES?!"

  "Ma'am, I'm sorry I can't help you. I really don't work here."

  "WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

  "It means that I don't work at this store. I don't know where the candy apples are. I am a customer like you."

  "THEN WHY ARE YOU STOCKING THE SHELVES?!" She indicated the boxes in my cart filled with apple juice."

  "I am shopping I am going to buy what is in my cart..."

  "NOBODY NEEDS THAT MUCH JUICE! YOU WORK HERE AND YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHERE THE CANDY APPLES ARE!" At this point everyone around us had stopped and were staring.

  An Aldi shelf stocker came over and said, "Ma'am, the candy apples were a seasonal item and I'm afraid we are sold out."

  The woman glared at the Aldi employee, and then me and said, indicating me, "WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME THAT?!"

  "He doesn't work here, Ma'am."

  The woman then roared in exasperation, pushed her cart into an aisle display of canned food, knocking it over and screamed, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! I AM NEVER COMING BACK!"

  She stormed out of the store, fuming. The employee gave me with a WTF look, which I returned, then I proceeded to checkout.

  I loaded the juice into the trunk of my car and hopped in the driver seat. I checked my mirrors before backing out and noticed that the candy apple lady was in the SUV to my left, sitting in her driver seat, sobbing.

  I rolled down my window and waved to get her attention. She noticed me, waited about 15 seconds, then rolled down her window.

  "Are you OK, ma'am?" I asked.

  Through sobs and tears she said, "I said I would bring candy apples to my grandson's party."

  I asked her when the party was to take place and she told me 'tonight'. I told her that I had seen kits to make candy apples over at Safeway, and that if she made them now they should be ready by the time of the party.

  Her eyes lit up and she looked at me, "Thank you."

  "You're welcome."

  I went back to work.
• (#9) She Found A Great Way To Respond

  From Redditor /u/dtlove87

  So this just happened and I’m actually kind of proud of it.

  A bit of backstory. I stay with my kids during the day and work nights. My husband and I have opposite shifts, so we can save on daycare. Because of this I dont usually go grocery shopping during the week because it can be difficult getting my kids through the store. (My daughter sometimes has meltdowns in big crowds. She doesn’t have any sensory issues according to her doctor, we think she just doesn’t like the noise or just gets tired easy and that makes her fussy).

  I remembered that I was suppose to get party supplies for work today because on of the ladies there is going on maternity leave and I had volunteered to help set up a party for her. So off to the store we all go and everything goes surprisingly well. I’m getting ready to check out at the self scanner when it happens. I feel a tap on my shoulder followed by the “excuse me“ that we all know and dread. So I turn around. My mistake.

  Despite the tone used, the lady seemed relatively normal (no Karen haircut). Until she started talking.

  Lady: “Excuse me! This won’t scan.”

  I look around and she is definitely talking to me. Now I would normally help, even if someone is rude because, why not? However her tone and pitch was harsh enough that my daughter started clinging to my arm. My son just doesn’t care lol.

  Lady: “exxxccccuuuusssse meeeee! Hello? A little help?”

  I’m just focused on my daughter, rubbing her back because I feel her start to freak out. How this lady thought I could help is beyond me. I don’t work there and was dressed like I literally rolled out of bed. Fortunately the self checkout attendant shows up and asks what the problem is.

  Lady “this won’t scan and this person (gesturing vaguely in my direction) is no help.” Lady turns back to me while the attendant tries to ring up the item for her. “You are so rude! Are you deaf or something?”

  At this point I still hadn’t said a word to her, and the idea hit me. Like a freaking beautiful rainbow wrapped in lightening. I’m not deaf, but me and my kids are learning ASL (American sign language). I just started learning it so I can ask basic questions and can sign the baby shark song (dont ask, my kids love it).

  Smiling the biggest freaking smile I could manage, I start signing. It makes no sense. I’m basically saying ‘how are you? Do you want food? What is your name? I know a little sign. baby shark song’ lol

  I swear I never saw someone lose color in their fast so fast in my entire life. It was glorious! She got her items, paid and practically ran out of there. The attendant trying her best not to laugh.

  I turned to the attendant and said cheerfully “Have a nice day!” She and I shared a good laugh and I went home.

  Ps my daughter is fine. She probably just got scared
• (#10) Karen Was Breaching Social Distancing Rules

  From Redditor /u/is-that-my-waffle

  For background, I am a police officer in Australia. I work in plain clothes. At work I wear a business shirt with tie, suit pants, and have my utility belt with firearm, taser, pepper spray and all other necessary accoutrements on the belt, I also have a police badge clipped to my belt and another police badge with my work ID around my neck.

  This incident also happened while Corona Virus was spreading rapidly, most business had been closed by government mandate, people have to ensure they are practicing ‘social distancing’ or they can be fined, the government hasn’t mandated that people stay home but have limited the number of people allowed in groups, no contact with strangers, and you should only out for work or essential supplies.

  It’s also important to know that in Australia, members of the public can not carry firearms in public and its difficult to get a license to even possess a firearm.

  A few days ago I was at work and my partner needed to buy supplies from an office supply store nearby. The stuff at this store wear far blue polo shirts. We went to the store and my partner was getting everything she needed.

  I was waiting when I hear this screeching voice from behind me “WHERE ARE THE CHARGERS”. I turn around and see this Karen standing there with her arms crossed, glaring at me. Now let me remind you that I’m wearing all my work gear, and a bright pink long sleeve business shirt. I say to the Karen “I’m not sure where the” Karen is not impressed and cuts me off, steps very close to me, well within what I consider my personal space at the best of times but when I’m at work, it’s an offensive gesture. Karen then screeches “YOU WORK HERE, HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW WHERE CHARGERS ARE!”

  I look the Karen dead in the eye and with a stern voice say “first thing, I don’t work here, second thing, I’m a police officer (I point at my firearm, taser, and badge), third thing, you are currently breaching Social Distancing Laws and can be fined, Step Back Now”. The Karen quickly turned around and Ran from the store. I’m just happy that actual staff didn’t have to deal with her because she was rude from the start. I should have pointed out that a phone charger isn’t an essential purchase.
• (#11) He Used Caveman Speech

  From Redditor /u/Kookabanus

  So in the '90s I rented a large workshop with two friends. I was a woodworker and the other two were metal workers so obviously none of us resembled the previous business, which had installed skylights, in any way.

  Cue the customer of the previous business. C. I have condensed this as the verbatim conversation went on for a *very* long time.

  Arrives at my door. A real "Karen".

  C: "I need repairs done to the skylights you installed"

  Me: "Sorry, that business has moved and I don't know where they are now"

  C: " No, I need you to send someone over NOW. The Skylights are leaking"

  Me: " As I said, that business has gone. We are a different company."

  C: "No, RIGHT NOW!"

  Repeat the above a half dozen times...

  About now I am realizing I am dealing with either genuine looney or else someone too entitled to listen to plain common sense. I try another tact, caveman speech, who knows it might get through.

  Me: "Skylight business gone. New business come. You talking to new business now. Unnerstand?" (Ook)

  C: ".........uhhh?"

  Me: "Nooooo skylight here!!! Try look in f*cking phone book! You bugger off now!"

  C leaves in a big huff.

  It's all about communication folks.

   
• (#12) Schools Are Closed, But She Thought There Was A Daycare?

  From Redditor /u/SwaggerTrunks

  I am on the janitorial team that was sanitizing our public school buildings during the cancellations last week.

  Monday I arrive for my first day and I was tackling an auditorium. It was no secret that schools were closed. It was on the news, there were signs on the doors, I think the city even sent a text alert about it to anyone signed up for municipal notifications. And the school absolutely sent emails.

  But as I’m beginning to clean, with my cart and my janitorial uniform, a woman comes in with two kids, 5 and 7ish.

  I say “Hi, I’m sorry, the school is closed for the rest of the—“ and she cuts me off and says “yah yah, I know, I know, but this is the daycare service right?”

  “No. What? No. I’m just a member of the cleaning crew.”

  “Well where’s the daycare?”

  “There... what? I don’t think there is one, we’re sanitizing every room today. You could go to the office and ask, but I didn’t see anyone in there, it’s really just us—“

  “Oh great, so you’re in charge. I’ll be back at 2:15? Right?”

  “I’m not in charge of anything. You’ll need to go to the office, or probably, go home actually. I don’t think there’s any kind of service—“

  “What are you talking about? They wouldn’t just cancel school without a daycare service for working parents. Where’s your boss?”

  “My boss is also a janitor, trust me, they cannot help you.”

  Now at this point the kids had begun to run around the gym which meant I’d have to resanitize whatever they’d touched. So I said, more firmly,

  “You need to go, I’m not supposed to let people in here during cleaning.”

  At this point I wasn’t sure if she was messing with me or if she really didn’t know. She seemed busy, she had a cellphone in one hand and no hands on the kids. Without looking up she says:

  “Well you should’ve cleaned before the kids started to arrive, shouldn’t you?”

  I’m starting to wonder if I’m the ridiculous one at this point.

  “There are no kids arriving. I’m cleaning. The school is closed.”

  “I know school is closed. That’s why I’m leaving them in the daycare.”

  And just like that, she was off. I was calling after her “Hey, excuse me! Lady! You cannot leave kids in here!”

  I didn’t know what to do about it so I took the kids to my boss and asked what we needed to do. The boss said “So they just left these kids here? Why didn’t you tell her the school was closed?? Who doesn’t know that by now!”

  I explained that I did tell her and she either was so checked out she didn’t understand or she chose to ignore me.

  So the boss said “This is all way too risky. We can’t keep an eye on them and there are dangerous products and who knows why she left them here? We don’t need this problem. Better call whoever you call about kids with no one to watch them. Cops?”

  We also had one of the janitors trying to get a name and number off the kids but they didn’t really know.

  But we have a few undocumented immigrants on the crew and a couple others who would’ve just been nervous to have cops buzzing around the workplace, so we googled it and ended up calling a child services hotline.

  Ultimately a social worker came, and with cops, but they didn’t bother anyone though. Just focused on the kids.

  The cops went through the kids bags and found their last name on a school binder and found a number to call. They got the kids’ father who was irate.

  They had the conservation on speakerphone so I caught bits and pieces. “What do you mean, they’re where? Aren’t schools closed?” And he was there within ten minutes.

  I guess he called his wife for an explanation during that time because she arrived not too soon afterwards.

  The cops and social worker were lecturing them and the woman was like “I left them with a childcare worker in the drop off area!” And they reiterated there was no day care and they had no idea what she was talking about.

  So to that point, I thought “ok, I guess she’s just really, really dumb.”

  Then the cops let them go with a warning about understanding where they’re leaving their kids and with whom. But as they were leaving the woman sneered at my boss “Was it really such a big deal that you had to call the police?” So... now I wonder whether she was trying to pull a fast one on us or if she was just that stupid.

  The world may never know. But I still laugh at the story.
• (#13) Getting Fired From A Job They Didn't Work At

  From Redditor /u/mfstevenson1

  About a year ago, I worked selling solar panel systems. This job required me to wear khakis and a blue polo when I was meeting customers. One particular day, after meeting with a homeowner, I had to stop by my local walmart to get more pens and a notepad for my work bag.

  I pretty consistently got asked if I worked there by other customers, and I would help if I knew what they were after, but I always told them that I didnt work there, and they were always kind. So this fateful day, I grabbed my pens and paper and checked out in the self checkout section. As I was leaving, I heard someone say behind me "And just WHERE do you think you're going?"

  Now, a little about me...I try to mind my own business as much as possible, and dont like to get wrapped up in other people's drama. When I hear outbursts like that in public, I assume it's not because of me, I also try to follow the rules as much as possible. In this case, I assume it wasnt me because I paid for everything, so I continue to my car.

  Roughly 30 feet from my car I hear again "Hey you! STOP!" I do turn around at that one. An employee who can only be described as a Karen is marching towards me, 8 different kinds of pissed off. She starts reaming into me about how I'm abandoning my shift, and I'm not supposed to get off for another 3 hours. I'm standing there bewildered because I genuinely have no clue what shes talking about, and I try to let her know I dont work there, but she wont let me get a word in. Eventually she says: "forget it, you're fired!" I waited about 5 seconds, and told her: "I dont work here, I've never worked here." She stared at me, and muttered "sorry" and ran back inside.

  I'm still not sure what happened, but that's my tale of being fired from a job I never worked at, hope it brought you some joy!
• (#14) She Lied About Knowing The Manager

  From Redditor /u/MasterWitcheress

  Where this story takes place is actually the only motel (room access from exterior of building) my parents have managed thus far. It's pretty old and a lot of things have to be manually done or switched on or off.

  So it was a Friday and early evening, I was heading down to the opposite side of the hotel to turn on the exterior lights (the electronic sign, parking lot lights, etc.). This motel didn't have all doors with electronic locks, so the door I had to get through was actual lock and key. So I'm walking down past all the rooms, when a door behind me opens. I keep walking, barely throwing a glance over my shoulder.

  I eventually make it towards the end and am just about to pull out the key, when I hear rapid footsteps. I turn around, stopping another Wild Karen in her tracks...

  Karen begins to berate me for not being behind the desk and getting her food. What the hell? It's a motel. Where does she think she is? La expensive hotel?

  I tell her, in a mocking way (since I honestly gave zero f*cks about what she thought), "Oh sure let me just snap my fingers and conjure food from the nonexistent kitchen, your highness."

  She did not like that. I was sure she would start yelling at me for mocking her, but nope.

  "You're a WITCH?!"

  Once more, I ask- what the hell? This just took a turn that made me long for a big stick to smack her upside the head with, because something was obviously just rolling around up there...I start laughing in her face, mostly from my own thoughts.

  Her face starts to turn this shade of red that makes me laugh even harder, because it makes her look like the tomato from veggie tales in a blonde wig.

  "Why are you laughing?! I'm the Manager's wife and I can fire you!"

  Still laughing, I'm bent over trying to breathe properly with tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard. That makes me start snorting from breathing in and out at the same time.

  I know that's total BS. My parents are the collective 'Manager' here. She has no idea!

  I eventually take a deep breath, clench my nails into my palms and look this Karen straight in the eyes, "You'd fire your own daughter mom?"

  Karen looks so dumbfounded by what I'd said that I have to actually turn my head towards the side completely so she's out of my line of vision, so I don't start my laughing fit again.

  She huffs angrily and walks away. I turn on the lights and think that's the end of it.

  NOPE.

  The morning shift typically has to clean up breakfast, and since I was helping my dad (who at the time was suffering from something unknown in his legs that made it painful to walk), I was the one that was cleaning up breakfast. It's from six to nine and it was about 15 minutes from ten, I was just wiping down the counter now. Nothing was left from breakfast on the counter, expect for coffee for guests.

  I am in the middle of washing dishes when I hear yelling coming from the front. I'm greatly concerned for my dad and rush towards the office, grabbing my phone from the desk in case I had to call 911 (I didn't.)

  Lo and behold, Karen had arrived.

  She was yelling at my dad about how there was no breakfast set out, how he was a sh*tty employee and how she knew the manager. Yeah, well she did. She was talking to him after all. My dad kept trying to explain breakfast hours were over and they were under no obligation to keep it open for her, even pointing to the sign right behind his head that stated the hours too. Karen was not having it.

  She saw me as soon as I walked in.

  "And your employee cursed me last night when I was simply asking for directions!" No, she didn't say 'cursed at me'. I have to do the whole nails-in-palm trick to not start laughing at the memory, because I would no doubt get in trouble for that.

  My dad turns to me and gives me this questioning look, I shake my head and shrug.

  "Ma'am, she's not an-"

  "I WANT HER FIRED RIGHT NOW!"

  Well, as we say in the industry, the customer is unfortunately always right.

  My dad turns to me, his face away from Karen, and gives me a grin before saying, "You heard the lady, you're fired."

  I give him a returning grin, "Okay, dad, I'll go finish the dishes."

  Karen starts sputtering nonsense, but my dad turns to her and says, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

  Karen demands to see the manager.

  Now in the back office, a few steps away from the open door that separates the office from front desk, I watch my dad stroll into the office (in quite a bit of pain, which made me mad), close the door, wait a minute- before he walks back out and says, "I'm the manager here, and I'm asking you to leave the property."

  Karen screams, "Well then I'm not paying!"

  Ok, guess what? You already paid at check in, with cash that requires a 50$ deposit, so therefore, you're not getting it back.

  My dad shrugs and I walk out from behind the desk a moment later to refill the coffee pot, where Karen has moved to get some. That's right, she didn't leave.

  Karen starts yelling at me now. It's endless screaming and yelling, I swear.

  "What the hell are you doing! You're fired!"

  I smirk and tell her two things, "One, I'm the Manager's daughter and not actually an employee. Two, the coffee here is for paying guests, and since you clearly stated you're not paying, you can't have any." (the coffee was out anyways, so she couldn't get any even if she tried).

  Karen, now understanding why I had called her mom the previous night, storms off. I don't see her again for the rest of the weekend.
• (#15) When The Manager Thinks You Work There

  From Redditor /u/aijerithai

  Had my roommate take me to Whale Mart last night, I was wearing average sign friendly clothes (Dark shirt, blue button up overshirt that was open, black swim shorts, no yellow vest indicating I work for the mart of Walls).

  Completely second hand. Some of you may recognize me from my account as I've posted some more wholesome stories on this subreddit. But I'm severely hard of hearing, so much so I claim to be deaf. I can't hear women and children, completely silent. That's important to this story.

  A female manager at the Whale Mart was apparently screaming and hollering at me for a solid 10 minutes before my roomie figured out WTF was going on, and got my attention. He had told the manager that was screaming at me that 1) I'm a customer and 2) I'm deaf.

  The manager went as white as a sheet of paper and apologized profusely.

  Silver lining? $10 gift card for not even knowing that I was getting screamed at by a banshee.
• (#16) Toilet Paper Is Suddenly Making Everyone Angry

  From Redditor /u/cyber_gypsy15

  At the end of February, I got a job as an Inventory Associate. As luck and timing would have it, the pandemic swooped in and basically made my job useless until stores can get their inventory back. So, in an effort to give employees hours and keep their job secure, my company has been sending groups of us to stores like WalGreens and Rite Aid to help them put their trucks away, since many of the stores lost employees and they are seriously undermanned.

  So, I can understand why people think I work at those stores because I’m putting stock away and going in the back room to put totes away. Sometimes people do ask me where things are (such as toilet paper and thermometers) and are very understanding when I explain my situation. More than one actually apologized for interrupting my work.

  Except for today.

  Cast: Me: a non employee, RD: Rude Dude, GM: Good Manager (the guy I reported to while I was there)

  So I’m stocking some food products and basically keeping to myself. I’ve been to three of these stores in three days and I just wanna get done. Im sitting on the floor as I hear the dreaded call.

  RD: Excuse me (I keep to myself again, silently hoping there was an employee near by). Excuse me!

  Me: Yes?

  RD: You guys got toilet paper?

  Me: Actually I don’t work here. I’m just...

  RD: No one has any. You got some?

  Me: I don’t think any is here.

  RD: Fine where are the masks?

  Me: Probably by the gauzes, I think aisle 16?

  RD: What do you mean “you think”? You should know. Who just sits on the floor?!

  Me: Again, I don’t work here. I’m helping out.

  RD: Just tell me where the damn things are or I’m getting your manager.

  (As a side note: I don’t have a “manager”. We have a “supervisor” but people can’t really tell the difference because they are working with us. The only time we get “called out” by a supervisor is because we did a count wrong... which we aren’t doing at this moment.)

  GM comes walking through, coming to check on us. I think he was coming over by just how loud RD’s voice was getting.

  GM: Hey, ____. How’s it going here?

  RD: This girl won’t tell me where your toilet paper is. She’s trying to keep it to herself.

  I had to stifle a laugh at that.

  GM: (confused) Sir, we are all out at the moment. ____ is here because she’s contracted to help us stock due to the pandemic keeping our employees at home.

  RD: So she does work for you! She should be fired for trying to keep products away from the customers.

  GM: Again, she is contracted through another company. That’s why her uniform is different. Toilet paper products are in (some aisle number I don’t remember). Don’t be too upset if you can’t find any.

  RD huffs and storms off to the empty aisle. I look up to the GM, who has a satisfied smirk on his face.

  GM: I get upset when people around here treat my employees badly. I don’t want you being treated that way just because you’re here helping out.

  I hate doing stocking but at least it’s money. And I’m glad I at least I got to be in a good environment where the store employees helped me out. Apparently a pandemic equals treating people like sh*t.
• (#17) "I Might Be A Chef, But I'm Not Catering This Party"

  From Redditor /u/serenitylights1002

  This takes place at my grandmother's 30th birthday party. I know it sounds weird, but all my life, she claimed she was 29. I figure this was actually her 80th birthday and told my boss such since the party took place in a different state. Her birthday was close to Halloween so the guests were encouraged to come in costume. Having recently graduated from culinary school, I wore my old chef's uniform that I used to wear to my classes. Nice cheap costume without having any money.

  The party catered with all kinds of seafood that my grandparents ate on their yearly winter excursions to the Florida keys. When it came time to eat, I happily filled up my plate and sat down at an empty table to eat. My grandpa's cousin (GC) was sitting at a neighboring table, eating with one of the other party guests. She said something about the nerve of staff eating while the party was going on to the person next to her, indicating me.

  Being shy, I got up to find my mom and told her what GC said and ate my food. Later on in the evening, my mom introduced me to GC as her daughter.

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