Random Massage Therapists Describe Their Worst Customers (15 items)

• (#1) They Got Farted On - Then Blamed For It

  From Reddit user /u/Classicrocker07:

  A large female client wanted focus on her glutes. Needless to say, I was farted on while she was alseep.

  Her own fart woke her up, and she then accused me of farting because there were trace amounts of fart still in the air.
• (#2) They Had An Extremely Smelly Client

  From Reddit user /u/purple_bee:

  One of my biggest pet peeves is people that don't show up for their appointment or cancel 15 minutes before. People need to understand we get paid per massage, not hourly (unless you're in a spa). If you don't show up, we don't get paid. If you cancel 15 minutes before, we can't fill that space... so we don't get paid. It's much better if you just call and cancel!

  My worst horror story... I can totally deal with a little bit of body odor, but this guy, holy sh*t, the entire clinic reaked of BO. When he took off his shirt, [it was] very obvious that this guy did not shower or change his clothes often - his singlet was covered in yellow stains. Worst massage I've ever done; I was almost gagging on the smell.

  He booked again, to my horror, and I said, "Next time you come in I want you to have a nice hot shower... so that your muscles are nice and relaxed." Did he? No, he did not.

  I asked him if he had showered, and he said, "Oh yeah, the other day." Cringe.

  Oh yeah, and one of his skin things broke off and crumbled in my hand. Hands down worst day of my massage life.
• (#3) His Client Grabbed Him Right Next To Her Husband

  From Reddit user /u/xAvaricex:

  Horror story: this not very attractive lady in her late 40s grabbed my junk during a couple's massage. With her husband on the adjacent table.

  It was so awkward telling her, "Please stop. Keep your hands on the table, please."
• (#4) Their Client Went In For A Kiss

  From Reddit user /u/gabrielle612:

  I've been a licensed massage therapist for four years now, and two weeks ago for the first time ever, I had an older man think it was okay to try to kiss me. I HAD TO PUSH HIM OFF OF ME.

  I did not stop to think about his welfare, or him potentially suing my small practice. I only thought about my boundaries and my safety. After reestablishing my boundaries, I showed him the door.

  Goodbye, creepy old man.
• (#5) Their Client Had A Specific Creepy Request

  From Reddit user /u/triknic:

  I had a client who, it turns out, was my first repeat request. I was excited that I was finally starting to build clientele! When I greeted him in reception, I felt like something was off. He was talking loudly and asking if I remembered him. (I didn't, really. I was a little vague.) On our way to the room I asked him what he wanted to focus on in his session. "My bum," was his reply.

  In the intake he kept saying he wanted his "bum" worked, and his belly rubbed (I told him I don't do that). He also insisted there would be a great tip for me if I "took care of him." I asked him to clarify what he meant by all this, but he remained vague. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I didn't want to end the session when he technically hadn't propositioned me, but I had a really bad feeling.

  About a minute into the massage he asked me to remove his blankets. I told him that wasn't possible, as we needed to maintain a professional boundary. He threw them off anyway, and for a moment was lying there face down and totally [undressed]... And that was my official cue to throw the creep out!

  It's nice to be able to laugh about these things now, but the truth is it was really upsetting. Being alone in a room with a strange [unclothed] man who wants you to play with his [bum] is not as cool as it sounds.
• (#6) Their Client Was Incredibly Obnoxious

  From Reddit user /u/ForestfortheDraois:

  Honorable mention: While in school, we were doing our clinic and I massaged [a] fellow classmate's boyfriend, who had just come from work as an organic farmer. Head-to-toe dirt on his skin, no deodorant.

  Third place: I was giving an older gentleman a massage. He was prone (face down), and I had finished his back when he started snoring. Worked over the sheets on his glutes, moved down to his hamstrings, then down to his calves, when he ripped the loudest fart I had ever heard. I jumped 3 feet in the air, chuckled as quietly as I could, then realized that fart could have been at a much worse time in the massage.

  Second place: The policy at the spa [where] I worked... was that anybody under the age of 18 was to be accompanied by an adult and had to work with someone of the same gender. Somehow I [ended] up with a 16-year-old boy and his mother, who knit in the corner until I massaged his legs, then stared at me the whole time. I said to myself, "What could make this massage more awkward?" Sure enough, when he turned over... half chub. In front of me. In front of his mom.

  First place: (They warn you about this guy in school, but I never thought I was going to meet "The Guy With No Social Boundaries.") I was warned ahead of time that the guy I was going to massage was being escorted off the premises after the massage. It was an "annoyance to other guests" issue, not a security issue, so I agreed to massage him. By the time I had walked him from the check-in area to the room not 15 feet away, he had already insulted me three times.

  After he had changed and was on the table prone, I knocked and walked back into the room. He was resting on his elbows, and I asked if he had any issues placing his head and remaining prone for a half-hour. He snorted and said, "Oh, it's not that big." For the rest of the time, I had to steer his conversation from really touchy subjects to more appropriate ones. He just had no qualms whatsoever sharing anything in his life with anyone and didn't realize he was loud, obnoxious, rude, and inappropriate.
• (#7) Their Client Was A Moaner

  From a former Redditor:

  I am still fairly new to being [a registered massage therapist]. The worst thing to happen so far was when I was in the student clinic. There [were] about six rooms divided by hospital curtains that we would massage in. I had one gentleman who came in with lower back pain. Little did I know how good I actually was at massaging. From outside the curtain you would think there was some freaky stuff going on.

  He was moaning like a female [skin-flick] star. I was extremely uncomfortable, but he was just showing his appreciation. He came back week after week and it just became normal. But clients would make sure to tell the supervisor they thought something was going on...
• (#8) Their Client Wanted To Get Emotional

  From Reddit user /u/jelpeason:

  I have to say I've been rather fortunate as a massage therapist in terms of horror stories or horror clients. I work in a small office that is focused on the therapeutic aspect of massage, rather than the spa treatment. We still do that stuff, but it's not the main reason our clients come and see us.

  When I was in school, I had a lady who would frequent our student clinic, and she would request me. Nice lady, but holy f*cking sh*t did she have emotional baggage. I think I saw her maybe five different times, and every single time she would flip from prone to supine, she would IMMEDIATELY have a tearful emotional response. And then she would pour her heart out to me about what was wrong in her life. I politely listened, and didn't say much beyond the occasional one-word affirmation.

  She never tipped me cash, but she would give me astrological advice. Personally, I don't buy into that stuff, but it was a nice gesture.
• (#9) Their Client Gave Them And Loved Ones Scabies

  From Reddit user /u/AzizYogurtbutt:

  I'm not a massage therapist, but I used to hook up with one. She got scabies from a client, and I got it from her. Also, my whole family and dog got it from me.

  We spent about $300 on lindane and had to wrap all the furniture in trash bags for three weeks.
• (#10) Their Client Bled Everywhere

  From Reddit user /u/Aremtee:

  I'm a male massage therapist. While working... in [Canada], I had the grouchiest client I had ever met. She was angry to be brought to the room, grunted responses when I was working on her..., [scowled] when she left the room, and practically threw the face cradle towel at me before she went to the bathroom.

  I went back in the room to prepare for my next client and walked in to a solid wall of blood stink. I lifted the sheets and there was blood everywhere. In horrified slow motion I looked at the towel in my hand and there was blood all over it, too. The woman had started the most heavy period I could ever imagine. Later on, the girls I work with were amazed at how calm I had remained. But I never want to see that much of that type of blood on my table ever again.
• (#11) Their Clients Expected To Be 'Warmed Up' Beforehand

  From a former Redditor:

  My ex was a massage therapist. Her worst story is when she went for a job at a massage place. All seemed normal. They got her set up in a nice area... All the lotions and potions she needed... She would earn 50% of the takings for each massage.

  Then she realized the place was a f*ckin' [call house]. She was simply there to get the guys heated up, before [they headed] downstairs to the whores. Worst of all, the boss would leave her there alone sometimes and people would come in wanting a whore - sometimes drunk guys late at night.

  Yeah, she packed her things up and got out of there.
• (#12) Their Client Required Dead Skin Removed Monthly

  From Reddit user /u/Aremtee:

  One of my regular clients had some horrific [health problem] that required work on his calf. I can't remember the details, but I can never forget his leg. It had to have the dead flesh removed every month. It flaked off in large chunks.

  His Achilles tendon was exposed to the point I could see behind it. He had moved to the town to spend time walking in the ocean. After a few months there was actually an improvement.
• (#13) Their Client's Cyst Popped During The Massage

  From Reddit user /u/Rhinomeat:

  I just graduated in April, and I have seen some things...

  There was a guy that would come to the on-campus clinic to get a massage from the students. Well, one day his cyst popped... warm pus flew 3 feet and hit the curtain. [It] smelled [disgusting].
• (#14) Their Client Had A Strong Focus On Toes

  From Reddit user /u/pinstripestockings:

  I once had this client, while still in school, who really wanted extra-focus work on his toes, of all things. After spending my time on his toes (blegh), he wanted glute work - pulled his tight shorty-shorts down and barred his [hairy] bum.

  Not exactly what I was expecting being so innocent and new to the field. Needless to say, I pulled his britches right back up.
• (#15) Their Client Lay The Wrong Way On The Table

  From Reddit user /u/JimmyD101:

  Not awkward because he never knew we found out, but apparently this guy I had let in to the room to get settled (with just a towel on) had lain on this table the wrong way and thought you let the ol' cock and balls hang through what is actually the face hole!

  Probably was pretty comfortable, but the therapist said she had to stop herself bursting out laughing when she realized.

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