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(#1) The Response To ‘Anything Else?’
From a former Redditor:
Me: "Can I get you anything else today?"
Customer: "Winning lottery numbers, a new car, a beer, a large sack of money, a vacation, etc., etc., etc."
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(#3) ‘It’s Free Then, Right?’
From a former Redditor:
"If you can't find the button [or the item doesn't come up when purchasing], it must be free, right? HURR DURR."
Cull yourself from the population.
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(#4) Caffeine Needed
From a former Redditor:
"I haven't had my coffee yet."
It's not a joke (but the customer is laughing) and it's totally inoffensive, but it is just the worst.
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(#5) They’re So (Not) Sweet
From Redditor /u/chungus_pie:
[Me]: "Any sugars?"
[Customer]: “No, I’m sweet enough. HA HA.”
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(#6) The Cost And Profit Guy
From Redditor /u/Marshmal:
We have one customer who comes in and tells us the same joke every single time. It doesn't matter if I just rang him through yesterday, I will still get the same joke.
He orders a grande pike (which costs $2.25 here), and when you go to collect his money he will hand you 25 cents and say, "Here's the cost," then dramatically pull out his wallet, grab the $2, hand it to you, and say, "And here's the profit!"
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(#7) 'You Sell Coffee Here?’
From Redditor /u/NQSSuperSam:
I've just started giving back closed mouth smiles to the "jokes."
"You guys sell coffee here?" "That's free, right?" "I'll take one of everything in the case!" Usually it highlights how juvenile their small talk game is.
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(#8) Larisa The Barista
From Redditor /u/Akari95:
[I] have the name "Larisa." [I] get:
"Oh look, it's LaREESA the barEESTA."
No, that's not how my name is said. Leave me alone.
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(#9) Baristas Must Be Live-Ins
From Redditor /u/antiquecreamcat:
[Customer]: Ha ha. I'm back for the second time, but it always seems like you're here.
[Me]: Well, you see, I'm employed here.
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(#10) Graduating With Dishonor
From Redditor /u/_broske:
Customer: I heard you guys have to go to a Starbucks college to get trained. Is that true?
Barista (confused by the question): No, that's not true.
Me (running up to the register): Actually, it is true. I graduated Summa Cum LATTE.
::crickets::
I'll never tell a better joke in my life. It's all downhill from here.
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(#11) The Pretend Counterfeiter
From Redditor /u/Yatterman:
[Me]: Checks $20 or higher bill to see if it is real.
[Customer]: "Oh yeah, I just printed that today!"
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(#12) When A Tall Blonde Isn’t A Drink
From Redditor /u/Poliocitellus:
"I'd like a tall hot blonde. Oh, and a coffee!"
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(#13) The Chili Dog Order
From Redditor /u/chromsburgers:
When people jokingly "order" things we don't serve, like "I'll take two chili dogs with fries," etc. It's always really unfunny people who do it, so I can't even tell at first if they're joking or just oblivious.
I don't know whether to fake-laugh or legit explain to them that we don't serve "X" thing.
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(#15) I Want It All
From Redditor /u/randomdragracer:
[Me]: "What can I get for you?"
[Customer]: "Everything!"
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About This Tool
Becoming a good barista is no easy task. Not only do you have to endure the morning shift, but you also have to face some strange customer requirements. Sometimes some boring jokes can ruin the barista's day. People usually think that working in a coffee shop is a part-time job, but in fact, becoming a full-time barista requires a lot of training to learn how to use coffee machines and various coffee combinations, and most baristas love coffee culture, not just cashiers.
You will understand the exact situation behind the counter only after talking to some senior baristas. The random tool lists 15 jokes that every barista will be annoying when hearing.
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