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(#1) 18 Years Of Marriage
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(#2) Then We Laughed And Laughed
I playfully compared my husband to his father and we laughed and laughed. Then he playfully compared me to my mother and we laughed and laughed as he set up his bed on the couch.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 9, 2020 -
(#3) Recycling Jokes
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(#4) UPS Guy Checks In
My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 22, 2020 -
(#5) You Gonna Breathe Like That?
Wife: FINALLY A WEEKEND WITH JUST THE TWO OF US!
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 12, 2020
Also my wife: Are you going to breathe like that the entire time? -
(#6) Best Anniversary Gift
I forgot today was our anniversary but my wife forgot too and that’s really the best gift she has ever given me.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 16, 2020 -
(#7) She Says Whoops
I just let my wife cut my hair and honestly the only difference between her and my barber is the amount of times she said whoops.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 11, 2020 -
(#8) Did The Mature Thing
My wife said I walk like an elephant and she can hear me coming a mile away. So I did the mature thing and snuck up on her 60 seconds later and scared the shit out of her. She has now filed for divorce.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 29, 2020 -
(#9) Saving Money At Kohl's
My wife is pretty bad at math until she starts explaining how much money she saved at Kohl’s.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 22, 2020 -
(#10) Foreplay
I just got my wife a giant ice coffee from my trip to the outside world so don’t tell me I don’t know a thing or two about foreplay.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) April 22, 2020 -
(#11) Not My Husband
I’ve been married for over 10 years I shave my legs for my freshly cleaned sheets not my husband
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) June 13, 2020 -
(#12) Does It Bother You?
Husband: Does it bother you when I —
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 12, 2020
Me: Yes. -
(#13) Tax Refund
Don’t let anyone tell you middle age is not exciting. My husband and I got our tax refund and immediately put it in savings. Man, what a rush.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 10, 2020 -
(#14) Flexing In Home Depot And IKEA
My wife and I go to Home Depot & IKEA with 25 ft tape measures clipped to our belts just to flex on younger couples arguing about stuff fitting in their house.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 8, 2020 -
(#15) Give Them A Little Scare
Me: Do you remember what today is?
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 27, 2020
Husband: pic.twitter.com/DDkRMZS7Qa -
(#16) Leaving Them All Over
My husband leaves water glasses lying around like he’s preparing for an invasion of water sensitive aliens.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) June 10, 2020 -
(#17) Walking Too Loudly
My wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 11, 2020 -
(#18) Saving The Economy
The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 17, 2020 -
(#19) I Actually Can Imagine It
Husband: *clipping his toenails* Can you imagine being single right now?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 8, 2020
Me: Yes. -
(#20) Sneezing Man
So it turns out that my husband is allergic to my new cat. Sadly, I have to rehome him.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 8, 2020
Anyone interested in a sneezing middle aged man? -
(#21) I'm Leaving You
wife: I’m leaving you
— human aaron (@humanaaron) June 30, 2020
me: is it because of my hobby?
wife: yes
me: but on friday february 8th 2018 at 8:17 pm I asked “Is it ok if I became a stenographer” to which you replied “thats fine” to which I replied “great” to which you replied “wait are you typing this right now?” -
(#22) Parallel Parking
Husband: *crying* Please let me go.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 30, 2020
Me: *parallel parking* -
(#23) How Much Trouble Is He In
I googled “how freaking long can it possibly take to play 18 holes of golf?” if you wanted to know how much trouble my husband is in tonight.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 13, 2020 -
(#24) Powerpoint Presentation
My wife asked me if she had any ‘annoying’ habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation.
— Batty (@BattyMclain) June 23, 2020
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About This Tool
Love and long-term relationships are always full of surprises and happy things, but there are some unexpected disputes and incomprehensible moments that people have to face in marriage, especially when it comes to parenting or housework. If laughter is indeed the best way to relieve stress, then nothing needs the sense of humor more than marriage. Let us take a look at how other people solve these stupid married problems, you might have a new understanding of marriage.
Some married couple like to share their stories on Twitter, there are 21 hilarious Tweets about married life in this generator. There will always be funny things in marriage, especially when they stay together during quarantine.
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