Random Funny Donald Rumsfeld Quotes and Rummy's Gaffes (28 items)

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  (#1) Osama Bin Laden: Alive or Not Alive?

  [Osama Bin Laden is] either alive and well or alive and not too well or not alive.
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  (#2) Death and War: Depressing

  Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.
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  (#3) More Concepty

  I'm not into this detail stuff. I'm more concepty.
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  (#4) Diplomacy

  I don't do diplomacy.
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  (#5) The President is Correct

  Needless to say, the President is correct. Whatever it was he said.
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  (#6) Not Quotable

  Oh, Lord. I didn't mean to say anything quotable.
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  (#7) I Don't Know

  Learn to say 'I don't know.' If used when appropriate, it will be often.
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  (#8) Clever Response

  If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly.
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  (#9) I Believe What I Said

  I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it's what I said.
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  (#10) Numbers

  I don't do numbers.
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  (#11) Quagmires

  I don't do quagmires.
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  (#12) The Army You Have

  As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.
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  (#13) Colin's Still Learning

  Secretary Powell and I agree on every single issue that has ever been before this administration except for those instances where Colin's still learning.
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  (#14) Known Knowns, and the Unknown

  Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know.
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  (#15) Foreign Policy

  I don't do foreign policy.
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  (#16) Intelligent Work

  I am not going to give you a number for it because it's not my business to do intelligent work.

  Asked to estimate the number of Iraqi insurgents while testifying before Congress
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  (#17) Settle Down, I'm Old

  Now, settle down, settle down. Hell, I'm an old man, it's early in the morning and I'm gathering my thoughts here.
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  (#18) Osama Bin Laden, Somewhere, or Dead

  We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead.
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  (#19) East, West, South and North, Somewhat

  We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.

  On Iraq's weapons of mass destruction
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  (#20) Untidy Freedom

  Freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.

  On looting in Iraq after the U.S. invasion, adding "stuff happens"
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  (#21) Past Was Not Predictable

  I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started.
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  (#22) Absence of Evidence

  There's another way to phrase that and that is that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. It is basically saying the same thing in a different way. Simply because you do not have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn't exist.

  On Iraq's weapons of mass destruction
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  (#23) Predictions

  I don't do predictions.
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  (#24) Disinclined to Mislead

  If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate, necessarily accurate. It might also not be inaccurate, but I'm disinclined to mislead anyone.
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  (#25) Six Days, Six Weeks, Six Months?

  It is unknowable how long that conflict [the war in Iraq] will last. It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months.

  In Feb. 2003
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  (#26) Thinking Makes It So

  Well, um, you know, something's neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose, as Shakespeare said.
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  (#27) Book Reviews

  I don't do book reviews.
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  (#28) What He Knows

  I don't know what the facts are but somebody's certainly going to sit down with him and find out what he knows that they may not know, and make sure he knows what they know that he may not know.

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