Random Former Members Of FLDS Community Share Their Stories (13 items)

• (#1) 'My Sister And Her Husband Came To Me And Said I Should Marry Her Husband'

  One former FLDS member recalls how, after her first marriage inside the church, she was asked to marry her brother-in-law:

  So, after a tough few months, my sister and her husband came to me and said I should marry her husband and be part of their family. This isn't unusual: Her husband had a brother married to three sisters. They call us sister-wives, which is supposed to symbolize how tight the relationship between plural wives should be. In reality, men use the term as an excuse.
• (#2) 'I Have 40+ Siblings'

  Redditor /u/used2bflds explains the chaos and challenges of raising dozens of children in the same home:

  I have 40+ siblings. I do know the exact number (more than some people from the FLDS can say, sadly). Mealtimes were served youngest first, then second helpings were a buffet style. Boys and girls were in separate bedrooms, but not much more than that.
• (#3) 'A Couple Of My Brothers Were Told They Were No Longer Welcome'

  When asked about the basic math of making sure there are enough women and men to couple up, Redditor /u/used2bflds talks about the church's "purges:"

  Young men (and occasionally married men) would be asked to leave the church. We were usually told they were being "called to repentance," but there was never any plan for them to come back. Sometimes people would, but it was few and far between. A couple of my brothers were told they were no longer welcome. But they were told they wouldn't have a chance to return. When I was in the church, I believed there was a reason for it, (they both had... records) but both have since turned their lives around and become awesome individuals. They were told by religious leaders that they would never amount to anything.
• (#4) 'The Fights Ended Up With My Dad Kneeling On Top Of Me'

  While discussing his early childhood in the church, a former Redditor details a confrontation with his father:

  So he comes at me again trying to grab my face, and I block him. Then we start fist fighting. I've been fighting my dad like this since I was about 7, so I'm really good at blocking his punches. I never attacked first - as a general rule I may have pissed him off on purpose, but I ALWAYS made sure he threw the first punch. I wasn't the type to rage at my dad. I raged a lot, but I wouldn't be aggressive like him.

  Needless to say, most of the time the fights ended up with my dad kneeling on top of me, punching my face while I'm yelling trying to block it. My only other option was to get around him and run out of the house.

  I've slept outside over 50 times between about 9 and 18 years old when I ran away.
• (#5) 'When Men Were Asked To Leave, There Were Sometimes Reasons'

  Commenting on the church's practice of "purging" male members to ensure there were many women for each man, Redditor /u/used2bflds recalls:

  I made the decision to leave the church myself. When men were asked to leave, there were sometimes reasons. One particular case, though, was when the church leaders told a man I respect and admire he needed to "repent from afar" for doubting the leaders, but after he had left, they told his family he had [acted inappropriately with] children.
• (#6) 'They Lose The Respect Of Hundreds Of Family Members'

  A former Redditor talks in depth about life in the church in the early 2000s:

  The town is in a frenzy of attempted obedience... Men are kicked out, some men losing eight wives and over 50 children. Some men actually [suffered] heart attacks... Plus they lose the respect of hundreds of family members because "God inspired the Prophet." The men also believe they have been measured before God and have been "found wanting." So they literally [perish] believing they have failed God.
• (#7) 'Warren Is Completely Delusional'

  A former Redditor offered an inside look at Warren's belief in the coming end times:

  Yes, they definitely believe in end times. I know Warren is completely delusional, but there's a little truth behind their beliefs that the system is on the edge of collapse. Warren just built on this, and now the people literally believe it's the end of the world.
• (#8) 'I Was Pinned Against The Wall As A Small Child By A Particularly Jealous Mother'

  Many affirm that having multiple wives and multiple children led to complicated relationships. Redditor /u/used2bflds remembers the conflicts between the different wives:

  I've seen the fights. Yelling matches in front of the kids, wives ganging up on other wives, wives chasing each other around with sticks...

  But that didn't compare to when they would turn on each other's kids and use them as punishment for the other. There were times I was pinned against the wall as a small child by a particularly jealous mother for minor infractions (saying "shut up" to one of her kids was one I remember) for 30 minutes or more.
• (#9) 'The Underage Marriages Were Only For Upper-Class Religious People Who Could Keep It A Secret'

  The general public closely associates the FLDS with alleged underage marriages, particularly those of their prophet, Warren Jeffs. But, according to a former Redditor:

  Most women were married at 18 to 24. The underage marriages were only for upper-class religious people who could keep it a secret, and the fathers of those [young] girls were required to hand them over. And forbidden to speak of it.

  When another user calls the people who handed over their children monsters, the Redditor writes, "You underestimate the power of dogma."
• (#10) 'Repression Is The Least Of Their Problems'

  The question of plural marriage continues to plague the Mormon Church even though they officially ended the practice long ago. The FLDS, however, continues the practice... According to Redditor /u/Anonymous_Ex_Polyg:

  I will never give [people who harm children] an easy out. The only way [plural marriage] might contribute is that it places value judgments on humanity. Men are more valuable than women and adults are more valuable than children. Believing something has less value may make it easier to justify in your own mind hurting them... Repression is the least of their problems.
• (#11) 'He Squeezed My Shoulder Before Going To Bed With His Wife, And That Was My Wedding Night'

  One writer recalls the experience of marrying into a plural marriage and her unusual wedding night:

  Our wedding ceremony took place in Bill's cousin's family room. My father officiated, and the first wife had to give her blessing. When it was done, he kissed me on the cheek and we were married. There was a wedding party after - I was excited. I really wanted to sit next to my husband. But his wife was on one side, his daughter on the other, and they didn't make any room for me. They also made it clear I wouldn't be allowed to take pictures alone with him, only with the family. That night I slept on the living room floor. He squeezed my shoulder before going to bed with his wife, and that was my wedding night.
• (#12) 'Most Of The Law Enforcement Are Members Of The Church'

  When asked what could be done to help the people adversely affected by the FLDS, Redditor /u/Anonymous_Ex_Polyg said:

  They need to stop allowing these churches to exist outside the law. In Colorado City, most of the law enforcement are members of the church. That needs to end. They need to get police officers who are unbiased for or against the FLDS.
• (#13) 'We Would Anoint The Center Of The Hood Of The Car With Oil'

  Although "blessing" or "dedicating" houses is common among the Mormons, only the FLDS take the extra step of sanctifying their cars, according to Redditor /u/used2bflds:

  We would anoint the center of the hood of the car with oil (extra virgin olive oil as per FLDS custom of all Priesthood blessings), then have two elders sit in the driver and passenger seat, putting the right and left hand on the knee of either, and dedicate the vehicle for safe passage from one destination to the other.

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