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  • John Connor on Random Fictional Children Who Will Be The Most Messed Up Adults

    (#2) John Connor

    • Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Terminator Salvation, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, T2 3-D:Battle Across Time, Terminator 2: Judgment Day

    John Connor is a living paradox. His mother is a mental institution patient and his father is not born yet to travel into the past to impregnate his mother - good luck explaining that to a therapist. Also you've got the fact that his destiny to be the leader of the human resistance against robots has been erased. Good luck finding the same level of excitement and meaning when working in a cubical. Sarah Connor is his rock, but she’s also very unstable, even if she is justified in what she fears. She wouldn’t be able to shake all her mental strife off once the events of T2 ended, and she broke out of the mental institution. She’d always have to be on the run or if she got caught she’d be recommitted because there’s no way to prove their story of the robot apocalypse.

  • Kevin McCallister on Random Fictional Children Who Will Be The Most Messed Up Adults

    (#3) Kevin McCallister

    • Home Alone 4, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Home Alone

    Kevin McCallister has got to be rife with mental demons. He’s got to have some serious abandonment issues, and a great resentment for his family who would forget him and abandon him on Christmas... TWICE. Not to mention facing off against two career criminals in a home invasion has got to be traumatizing for anyone at any age.

  • Walter White Jr. on Random Fictional Children Who Will Be The Most Messed Up Adults

    (#4) Walter White Jr.

    • Breaking Bad, Pilot

    Walter Jr., AKA Flynn, is going to be a messed up adult because he never got a good sense of closure with his father. Their last face-to-face meeting was tense, to say the least. Also, Heisenberg is famous, so Walt Jr. will have trouble outrunning his legend.

  • Bart Simpson on Random Fictional Children Who Will Be The Most Messed Up Adults

    (#7) Bart Simpson

    • The Simpsons, The Tracey Ullman Show, Do the Bartman, The Simpsons Movie, Under the Boardwalk: The Monopoly Story, The Simpsons

    One underlining theme on The Simpsons is history repeating itself. Homer’s a bad father because his father Abe was a bad father, and unless something breaks the chain, the same fate will likely befalling Bart. He already has a trouble-maker streak to him and a great disrespect for authority. Bart’s plans for the future have included passing in a stupid motorcycle stunt at the again of fifteen, and being reincarnated as a butterfly (because no one suspects the butterfly) to burn down his school and framing Principal Skinner.

    Every now and then we get to see glimpses into Bart’s future which has flip-flop from working on a demolition crew to being a mooch playing in a Jimmy Buffet cover band with Ralph Wiggum. If Bart has any hope in this world it’s in love. He needs to find his Marge. If there was one constant in his life growing up, it was that his mother and father loved each other and they stayed together no matter how bad things got. That or maybe his version of “Cheeseburger In Paradise” will put him on the map.

  • Tim Murphy on Random Fictional Children Who Will Be The Most Messed Up Adults

    (#8) Tim Murphy

    • Jurassic Park, The Lost World: Jurassic Park

    Tim Murphy seems like the kid who has it all. His grandfather’s a rich scientist, he gets to meet his hero Dr. Alan Grant, and he gets to spend his summer vacation looking at dinosaurs. It's a dream come true - until the park breaks down, the dinosaurs get out, and all hell breaks loose. Tim is probably beyond traumatized. He's chased by velociraptors, terrorized by a T-Rex, sees people being eaten (right off of the toilet), and nearly meets his end thanks to an electric fence.

    Tim won’t be able to relate his problems to anyone.

  • Franklin Richards on Random Fictional Children Who Will Be The Most Messed Up Adults

    (#10) Franklin Richards

    • Marvel Universe

    The Fantastic Four have always been called Marvel’s First Family, and as such have always been treated as celebrities in the Marvel Universe. Well did you know that Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman went on to have a son and daughter?

    Valeria Richards’s powers include a genius high IQ and some telekinesis. Valeria has always been depicted as being highly mature and more like her father Reed. The real one to worry for is Franklin Richards. His super powers include: “reality warping and manipulation, molecular alteration, and Psionic powers.” With Franklin you get an impressionable youth with the famous father who takes everything seriously and a just as famous uncle Johnny Storm, who’s a reckless cad. Franklin looks up to Johnny and would rebel against his father by emulating his uncle. He would be out of the streets using his powers to bend reality itself for selfish reasons - not a power you’d want kid going through puberty to have.

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