Random Absolute Worst Tinder Date Horror Stories (14 items)

• (#1) She Took His Car

  From pointyn*pples69:

  My buddy isn't the smartest man. He picked a chick up and drove to a motel. They were walking into the room and she says, "Oh sh*t, I forgot my purse in the car do you mind if I go grab it?" He says, "Yeah, that's fine," and tosses her the keys. 5 minutes later he walks outside wondering where she is and his car is gone.

  EDIT: For clarification, yes he got his car back. I think the police found it about a week later. I don't think she was ever caught, though. If you're in Baltimore swipin' don't let her near your keys.
• (#2) He Peed On His Date

  From Baconbaconbaconbits:

  [I was on a] Tinder date with a "famous" chef where I was taken to a dive bar, where he promptly starting talking about how famous he was. We drank and watched sports, he proceeded to tell me "You're cute" and this eventually went to "I am going to make you bleed." He then invited one of his friends to come along. I went outside and he came up to kiss me. I was drunk, so I kissed back. Eventually he proceeded to tell me how he was "being charged with battering his ex-girlfriend, but he totally didn't do it."

  Eventually when it came time to pay the bill, "he lost his wallet." Of course, I get stuck with it. "I'll pay you back." (Needless to say I never got a payment.)

  Then he leaned up against me. I thought he was trying to kiss me again, but I looked down, and he was peeing on me. In the street. Peeing. On. Me.

  I swiftly, being too inebriated to drive, went and got myself a hotel room and a hot shower.

  Never again.
• (#3) They Kept Running Into The Same Scary Dad

  From therealJayT:

  A little back story: A few years ago I was dating this girl and her father REALLY hated me. Which was a bit odd as most parents love me (or at least lie about it real well). He was just a huge prick and I always called him on his sh*t. Anyways, her parents got divorced, we broke up a few months later etc., etc.

  Fast forward to around a year later. Me and [a] girl from Tinder were dating for a few months and things were starting to get serious. We're at the point where she wants me to meet her family. Mother, step father, little sister. Why not? I have no problems meeting them, lets do it I said. She told me how excited her step dad was to meet me as it turns out we both happen to be Kansas City Chiefs fans.

  Well, f*ck me if it wasn't the same a**hole father of my ex girlfriend...
• (#4) He Knew A Little Too Much

  From yellski:

  Started speaking to this guy on Tinder a few months ago. He seemed alright, but not my normal type. Regardless, we started speaking for a couple of days. I didn't realize how stupid I was until now, but I mentioned where I worked.

  The night I mentioned my workplace, I saw a guy walk past that looked a lot like him. I hadn't met him in person so I wasn't 100%. I forgot about it and a couple of days later, it was quiet in work but my phone battery was low. I said I'd speak to him later before my phone [went]. Que him coming in 10 minutes later with a f*cking iPhone charger. Yes, this might have been a nice gesture if you know, I'd actually met him face to face before.

  This was really weird because he said he lived the other side of the city from where I work. I wanted to cut ties straight away, but I thought I'd return the charger after I finished work.

  He said he would be in a bar around the corner, so when I finished I met up with him, gave him his charger, and made some excuse to go home. To my horror, I saw on his Instagram that he'd taken a smiling selfie earlier in the day with the caption, "I'm now a taken man ;)." I'd seen him like not even twice.

  To make it even scarier, for a good few weeks, every time I'd finish work I would see him casually walking past on his own, exactly at the time I finished. Really creeped me out for a while.
• (#5) She Used Tinder To Fill Up Her Party

  From AJTTOTD:

  Buddy of mine hit it off with this girl and after a few days, she invited him over to a house party. "Sure," he says, what could go wrong? He shows up and is introduced to a few of her friends, all guys. As the night carries on, more and more guys show up and very few girls are actually at the party. After they start talking about how they all know this girl they find out that she invited them all from Tinder. Every guy was there not to hook up, but to populate this chick's birthday party.
• (#6) She Wanted A Baby Yesterday

  From Rearwindows:

  The only Tinder date I went on, the woman told me her goal was to get pregnant in the next few months. I noped right out of there.
• (#7) He Requested Some Six Packs

  From buttermuseum:

  Showed up to the restaurant, waited about 30 minutes. Ordered myself some food and was about to leave when he texted me: "There's a liquor store across the street from the restaurant, can you pick me up 2 six packs?"

  I told him I wouldn't. He says he's decided to play frisbee with his dog instead. Deleted app, went to liquor store, picked up wine and went home.

  He texted me for a month or so after to tell me he's just bought tickets to see me dance (I'm a retired ballerina, haven't been in anything for a few years). Then he texts me an hour after and tells me how great I was on stage. I never responded.

  Dating is too confusing. I'm all done.
• (#8) He Showed Off Hundreds Of Pictures Of His Son

  From Savannahusername:

  There was this guy, he was a solid 10 in his pictures. He messages me, asks me if I want to meet up for coffee, so I say yes. He messages me and tells me that I have to pick him up... Okay whatever, I'll do it. I pick him up, and we decided to go eat instead, he's super funny and cute so we hangout some more after dinner. Then he pulls out his phone and proceeds to tell me that he has a son and his baby momma took off to Washington (but [he] has no idea what part or anything) with him and he hasn't seen him in months. So he then takes out his phone and tells me to go through a folder on his phone of pictures of his son. Like 300 of them. He sat there and made me look through every single one, and he would tell me the back story to basically every single video and photo in that folder. I felt so bad, but man I was happy when he left. That whole date just got so weird after that, he did some more stuff but those are good stories for another time lol.
• (#9) He Had Multiple Red Flags

  From Saramanders:

  I needed a date to Passover dinner with my friends. He wore a vest and a news-boy hat, then introduced himself with a bow and a hat flourish. The night only got worse from there. He refused to eat any of the food because "things on the plate were touching" (It was f*cking soup) and wouldn't shut his mouth during the 12 minutes of Seder. When it came time for his train home he purposely missed it so he could stay the night. HAHA, NOPE. After a movie... I convinced my friend to come with me to drive him to the nearest train station. During the ride he thought was the best time to tell me he was schizophrenic, but didn't take medicine because "it was the devil"...

  The night ended with him telling me he was going to sh*t on the subway and write my name in it.

  There was no second date.
• (#10) She Moved Really Fast

  From grimeylimey:

  Met girl, she was quite vocal about "no hookups." We went out, got drunk, she [invited me back to her place]... Just as we started [to hook up] she said "oh I love you, I love you, do you love me too?" I didn't reply...

  It was a good night, but then she got really demanding and argumentative. It takes me a while to get used to starting to see someone, I like to get to know them a bit. She was talking about kids within a day of meeting me and I wasn't quite ready for that conversation... Then she got really sh*tty that I wasn't as committed as her, called me all sorts of names and said that I shouldn't be on Tinder if I wasn't going to take our relationship seriously.

  It was a whirlwind... It felt like a year's worth of emotion bundled into about 3 days.
• (#11) She Started Squatting

  From georgeuh:

  Not mine, but my brothers. He lives at home with my mother still.

  So my brother met a chick on tinder. Took her on a date, ended up bringing her home for [the] night and then that was that. A few weeks later my mother went to the backyard and noticed the door to her camper was open. There was a bunch of clothes and a pair of faux Ugg boots that belonged to this chick. Turns out she had been sneaking into the camper at night and sleeping there and [using]. My brother had no idea of this, and my mom called the cops immediately and it turns out the chick had a warrant out... She's still in jail.
• (#12) He Had Very Specific Interests

  From SoggyTartz:

  I met a guy on Tinder...seemed nice, fairly attractive... Seemed a little "vanilla" actually... He didn't drink or smoke, wanted to be a meteorologist, was super close with his grandfather, gentlemanly and family-oriented.

  Went to Starbucks and talked for a couple hours, it was nice. So, I set up another date... We went for ice cream and again talked for a while. We were sitting outside and I mentioned something about how guys have obvious body parts to be attracted to on women while girls pick out odd things like calves and such...

  He gets real weird and says "I don't know if I should tell you this," so of course I prod him until he tells me... So, first he says he's got a foot fetish. That's not super strange and I'm mostly curious so I ask him tons of questions about it... He'd never been in a serious relationship so I ask him if he could handle being with a girl who wasn't into it, at least long enough to feel love towards him and he said no "I've called a girl from back pages a couple times cause I couldn't take it anymore."

  Still not that weird...

  Then he asks if I have ever heard of a "Crush Fetish." He tells me not to Google it because it'll freak me out. (still haven't, never will)...

  We had a conversation on the first date about how I had been getting a lot more bugs in my room that summer and so I'd been like squishin' bugs all f*ckin' day... And he said that "really got him going." I also realized he had asked me what kind of shoes I typically wear and I had just brushed it off and answered him. I was wearing moccasins and (being a pretty open person) told him how they make my feet smelly so I try to avoid them... he told me that "I got really turned on when you said that... I'd love to smell your shoes if you'd let me..." Among other very forward, very specific and unwelcome statements about what turned him on about me.
• (#13) He Thought Men Were Superior

  From ilovedawgs:

  I went on a date with a guy and the entire time he was talking about how men are superior and how there have been scientific studies to show that "women have an emotional reaction to the color red when they see it." I wonder why he was single.
• (#14) He Ordered His Date A Salad

  From HarveyGonzales:

  En route to the Worst Date Ever, this guy texted me from the burrito place we were meeting, to tell me he’d already ordered me the salad. I repeat: SALAD. At a burrito place. Also, was this the past? Was I now incapable of placing my own food order? Anyway… After arriving – with my salad ready, beside his plate of tacos, he spent the next half an hour telling me about his model ex-girlfriend and how passionate their "breakup [hookup]" had been…last weekend. The final straw was – even after telling him I wasn’t a big fan of smoking – he literally asked a stranger for cigarettes and then chain smoked them beside me.

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