Random Reasons Why People Stayed In A Loveless Relationship (16 items)

• (#1) Love Is A Practice

  From Redditor /u/grindermonk

  Being “in love” seems like a state over which you have no control. I long ago made the decision just to love the woman who became my wife. Fortunately she made the same decision about me. Romantic infatuation has faded, but our love for each other endures. It takes work to maintain, to avoid taking each other for granted, Love is not an emotion, it is a practice.
• (#2) Love Is Amorphous

  From Redditor /u/Fortunefavourthebold

  I'm in a relationship for the last 14 years and what I have to say is, Love is amorphous, it changes what it is and is hard to pinpoint sometimes. Sometimes you will be mad at each other, sometimes you will share laughter and smiles and hugs and kisses, sometimes you will be underwhelmed, sometimes you will be bored... sometimes you will be full of pride and appreciation, other times you will take them for granted. sometimes the sex will be great, other times samey. But life goes on... can anyone truly say they are in love constantly and without interruption always, or is it something that ebbs and flows. I think the latter. But I am always loyal and feel allegiance to my partner and family, I always have the attitude that I am committed and we are on this journey together, and I certainly don't want to be with anyone else! So that's my 2 cents right now
• (#3) It's Real Life

  From Redditor /u/dirtyflower

  I literally just got married to my husband two weeks ago. I am not "in love" with him. I respect him as a strong, good, honest, hard-working, intelligent...yadda yadda amazing man. I find him attractive most of the time haha I love him very much but I'm not "in love" with him and haven't been for a very long time. We've been together for almost 7 years, living together for 6. I know him inside and out and I'll never leave him or betray him and I trust him not to either. We argue plenty, disagree often, have sex on occasion but always find a way back to kindness and know when to turn it on for the other person. We also both are openly aware of each others struggles whether at work, mental health, family, financial or whatever else comes up. I am still with him because I know we are compatible even if we have many differences and I believe in sharing a committed life together working through the downs to find the joy in the ups because that history with someone is worth more than the fairy tale, sappy, "in love" glowing warmth. It's real life.
• (#4) We Weren't Even Friends

  From Redditor /u/skibumatbu

  We have 3 kids. We made a great team. She went with one kid one place and I took the others somewhere else. Whether it was afterschool activities, playdates, or shopping on the weekend, our ability to divide and conquor was amazing. However, we never went on a date. We never watched TV together and just barely slept in the same bed. We did seperate things in our private time. We were never intimate. We weren't even friends. Just two people in the same house sharing responsibilities.

  For 5 years I sacrificed my relationship because it made my life easier. It was miserable yet comfortable. I love my kids and that made me happy to see them happy. It made me happy that we were able to afford some luxuries for the kids that I can't on my own. I was scared to end the relationship. I was afraid to live alone and afraid that I would never find someone else.

  My wife moved out last week. I now have to face those fears. I can be a single dad half the time. I'm still scared. But, I'm optimistic that my kids and I will pull through....
• (#5) Get To The Happy Spot

  From Redditor /u/Gwendywook

  I realized recently that every relationship I've been in, until the current one, had absolutely no love in it. I told myself I loved them, but I was really with every one of them for convenience or because they asked me out and I was scared to say no. The last two ended so horribly, I was scared to leave the house for a long time, and routinely asked guys at my job to walk me to my car because I heard one of them was looking for me. Met my current SO online, moved 800 miles away to be with him, it'll be two years in January and we just had a baby girl together. It just took a literal f*** ton of pain to get to the happy spot.
• (#6) Young, Jacked, And Smart

  From Redditor /u/eilletane

  In my first relationship I thought I had scored the jackpot. I was young and he was young and jacked and smart. He over glorified himself and I just couldn’t see that. I looked up to him as a god, mainly because he kept saying I was bad at my studies and cooking and basically everything that I love to do. I thought I would never get someone better so thus I stayed. I thought I loved him, I thought that was what love was, but I was just proud that I had gotten someone “so amazing.” I was stupid.
• (#7) The Most Relatable Reason

  From /u/AboutNinthAccount

  loved her dog
• (#8) He Wasn't In Love

  From Redditor /u/Soggy_Nothing

  I was the one super in love. I don't think he was. Once every 4 or 5 months, we'd have some sort of discussion. The last time, it was that he didn't know if what we had was love. I should have seen that as a warning. But I convinced him to stay with me after an hour discussion.

  I think he felt guilty. I stayed with him through suicide attempts, drug induced psychosis, and moved countries for him. I imagine he felt an incredible amount of guilt, and stayed with me because of that. I think he cared for my well being maybe. But he wasn't in love. And it's painfully obvious now that I'm out of the relationship.
• (#9) He Doesn't Like Me And I Don't Like Him

  From Redditor /u/poopieschmaps

  We have a special needs daughter, who doesn’t talk. Until she’s able to tell me that something happened and she can understand more complex ideas and situations, there’s no way I’m putting her in someone else’s hands.

  My husband and I just don’t mesh, he doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. For the most part we can get along and even have fun doing things together with our daughter. But we haven’t been intimate in years. We’re both in our late 30’s. And we reasonably don’t have family to help.

  Although once she starts going to school full time, I believe I will have more options to do something financially productive with my time.
• (#10) More Of A Roller-Coaster

  From Redditor /u/Cuddle_Cloud

  I waited 5 months before breaking up because so many things came up. I didn't want him to think I was obsessed with the number 3 so I couldn't break up after 3 months. Then it was summer break so I couldn't see him and i wanted to do it in person. Then his birthday. Then Christmas! I finally broke up in Jan..... And then get back in April because I genuinely fell for him again. We lasted 3 years before I realised I was the only one putting any effort into staying in the relationship and finally broke it off for good.
• (#11) Hopeless At 32

  From Redditor /u/ overlord2767

  My brother can’t stand his wife, hasn’t really been in love with her since about a year before their wedding. He talks about divorce to me when we’re alone but he’ll never do it. He thinks he’ll never meet anyone else being 32 with no social life. Plus there’s a strong possibility she might k*ll herself if they broke up, or at least attempt it. So together they’ll stay. I just hope they don’t bring kids in to it.
• (#12) He Chewed With His Mouth Open

  From Redditor /u/stale_donut

  I moved to a new country by myself to start studying. Shortly after I moved I downloaded a darting app and starting dating this guy, in the beginning it was great, we got along well, but there were a few things that really annoyed me.

  He’d invite me over but wouldn’t clean his room, so it’d be really dirty and uncomfortable. He’d chew with his mouth open even though I always asked him to stop and I was the one that always had to travel 1.5h to see him. I never loved him, I’m not even sure if I was even attracted to him. But I was scared of being alone, especially in the new country where I knew no one.

  He also told me that he’s very depressed and I was scared of breaking up with him because of some of the things he said. He knew I had an ex who committed suicide, as well as a friend of mine who attempted suicide.

  I feel like he made up his “depression” because it’s keep me with him. Men’s mental health has always been super important to me and he just used that to his advantage.
• (#13) Literal Drama

  From Redditor /u/lil1470

  Wasn’t a good time to break up. The same time I was dating this girl, we were both rehearsing for a drama production that would be performed for the summer, and she was also in a different production that would perform a week or so later. I didn’t want to break up with her then have to be around her for rehearsals, also didn’t want to mess up her performance. On top of that, we were both going to prom together and that was still a few months away. Just hard to find the right time. This was a few years ago now, not with them anymore.
• (#14) Her Texts Don't Bring A Smile To My Face

  From Redditor /u/Mary-Wann-A

  Because as much as it sucks to say, relationships are not just built based on feelings. Most of the time it’s about how the both of you fit practically. My last ex was the one that I was head over heels in love with and I’d do anything for her, even sacrificing doing other things that I like along the way. But it just couldn’t work because we have different values and things we want in life for example - I wanted kids and she didn’t want, and I want to be married to her, but she’s okay with the idea of not getting married.

  The girl that I’m dating now wants all the things that I want in life and we have the same views on what our future would be like. When we argue, we know how to resolve it pretty quickly by giving each other space and not continue arguing and shouting at each other (which what my ex and I did). The only thing that is “lacking” is that I’m not madly in love with her. Her text messages don’t bring a smile to my face as many times as my ex’s did, her calls don’t always brighten my day. But somehow, everything else just works.
• (#15) 2 Dogs, 2 Rabbits, 1 Foot Fetish

  From Redditor /u/cimion2

  We have 2 dogs together, 2 rabbits, and fish. Been together for 2 years and I honestly loved him so much up until I found the texts to other women asking for pictures of their feet. I dont even care about the feet fetish, it's just that he asks other girls. I confronted him, thought we would move past it and stayed with him. Needless to stay hes still texting other women, always turning his phone away from me. I want to leave, I can't afford it. I cant live with any of my family, fathers side disowned me, mothers side is all abusive, cant afford to live on my own. Have a crush on a guy at work that honestly treats me better then anyone has ever treated me my entire life. But I've settled for just living with my cheating boyfriend in exchange for kissing him every once in awhile since he hasnt had sex with me still.
• (#16) The Dog Changed Nothing

  From Redditor /u/nnaralia

  Our dog.

  My (now) ex was getting lower and lower in life because he was lazy to do anything. I don't even know why I started dating him. A year later we adopted a dog and she just made everything worse. I love her, but that doesn't change the fact how terrible our relationship became after that. She was the only reason I didn't want to break up with my (now ex) boyfriend. We had the talk and tried to fix things, but he put zero effort into it. I ended up breaking up with him because I realized no one else's happiness should come before mine. I knew he wouldn't leave our dog, but I also knew she will be in good hands with him. I can't believe I put up with all that shit for 3 years...

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