Random Realtors Describe Their Strangest Experiences While Showing Houses (15 items)

• (#1) He Found A Hand In The Toilet

  From Redditor /u/ArkadySvidrigailov:

  I'm a realtor in California. A home inspector told me a story about finding a human hand in a house. He started out his inspection in the kitchen and moved into the bathroom. He lifted up the lid on the toilet and immediately saw a hand floating in it. He called the cops and said I'm finished here not looking anywhere else. The cops came and found pieces of a dismembered body throughout the house.

  Apparently it was some kind of... cartel/drug related killing. Needless to say the buyer was none too happy and ended up canceling the purchase.
• (#2) Even Realtors Can Be Disgusting

  From Redditor /u/FerociousGiraffe:

  Not a realtor, but once I was having one show me apartments for college. The realtors are even able to show you apartments that are currently occupied, as it is understood by the tenant that the realtor can show during certain hours.

  We walked in to look at one that was occupied and we could hear the shower running, but he said we would look around anyway. There was a picture of the girl that was living there, and the realtor saw it, said, "She's hot," and made a creepy gesture like he was going to go get in the shower with her. She never knew that we were in her place.
• (#3) Must Have Been Some Party

  From a former Redditor:

  I scheduled an early appt one day in a very up scale, trendy area. I knocked on the door and the owner answered. I introduced myself and he had this dumbfounded look on his face like he forgot about our appointment. I told him I had some work to do on the outside of the house and to give me 10 minutes and we could do the walk through. All he said was, "Ughhh, okay." 

  So I finish outside and knock again. The guy let's me in. I'm immediately punched in the face with the stink of sex and at least 12 naked men and women asleep all nude in various stages of undress throughout the house. My face turned beet red and I told the owner I could could come back at a more convenient time. He assured me that it was okay and it was very important that the appraisal be completed today and to proceed.

  I go through the house and do my thing, including taking photos! Although I did shoot around the sex toys and nude extremities. It was the most awkward situation of life. Why didn't he just reschedule!?
• (#4) Barb Has The Worst Luck

  From Redditor /u/MadPoetModGod:

  Not a realtor but my mother used to be one. She had a friend, Barb... Barb had the worst, most bizarre luck with clients. These are two I remember hearing.

  She was showing a very old (1930s?) fixer-upper. Water started leaking onto her and her client's head. Upon investigation it wasn't water. Rather, it was a stray dog peeing upstairs. That's right. All three of them had just been pissed on.

  She was showing a very nice home to a very young couple. In the foyer when a "New York sized rat" dragged its poisoned body by its front paws to the center of the room to hiss at them once, then promptly die.
• (#5) She Was Laying There In Her Skivvies

  From Redditor /u/PaperCutRugBurn:

  I scheduled a showing at a property occupied by renters. They were fully aware of the showing, I talked to the husband directly. Showed up with my client and his two year old; the whole family was there, husband and two kids nonchalantly watching TV in the living room. The wife however was laying on the bed in the master bedroom, door open, watching TV... In her lace bra and panties.

  As we walk by, she just looks over and goes, "Come on in and take a look around." We noped out of the house immediately. I later talked to the listing agent, we were not the first to lodge a complaint.
• (#6) He Was Just Chilling In The Basement

  From Redditor /u/Addictshow:

  Realtor for 14 years here. A few months ago I went into a house in a nice area, but there was obviously no maintenance done on the outside which was unusual for the area. We went in and there were piles of stuff everywhere. Stacks and stacks everywhere you look. The place was a mess.

  My clients were saying how much of a mess it was and that they can't believe someone was living here. We went downstairs and there was this 80 year old guy sitting in a corner on a desktop computer. I don't even know if he knew we were there. It was weird because whenever I enter a house, I always ring the bell and yell hello when I enter a home.

  My clients were so embarrassed they left without seeing the basement. The house is still unsold. I don't know if that guy is still in the basement.
• (#7) They Liked Their Toys Toasty

  From Redditor /u/priceguncowboy:

  Going through a recently vacated unit assessing damages and making a punch list for the turnover crew to get the unit ready for the next tenants. We open the warming drawer of the oven and find a dildo. This isn't your ordinary dildo, this thing is about the size of my calf. 
• (#8) They Found The Bathroom Of The Boom Boom Mansion

  From Redditor /u/Gusso1027:

  When I first started I showed a house in West Baltimore that had the weirdest bathroom. The listing on the internet only had one picture, so my client was curious because it looked good online. We came to the showing, got inside the house and the smell was nauseating,

  We kept checking out the place until we found the master bathroom. This bathroom was THE BATHROOM of the Boom Boom Mansion. Zebra Print Walls, Zebra print Floors , Large hot tub in the middle, four stripper poles in the corner of each room, but no toilets. Later I found out that it was a house used as a swingers club in Baltimore.

  Needles to say my client and his wife did not put an offer.
• (#9) He Pulled The Old 'Stall A Foreclosure With Your Genitals' Trick

  From Redditor /u/thegauntlet:

  [There] was a dude in his boxers. He knew we were coming, greets us at the door in boxers with the fly open. I swear he was positioning himself so we could see his junk every time we exited a room. We asked for another showing and came back a week later and bought the house. It was a foreclosure and he kept sh*t going by scaring away the potential buyers, kept living there for free.
• (#10) The Interior Was Interestingly Themed

  From Redditor /u/Jedibob7:

  Eagles. The man had bald eagle paraphernalia in every corner of the condo. There were entire shelving units packed to the brim with eagle statutes and every bit of drapery, blanket, and rug were eagle themed. Not a single American flag to be seen anywhere either.
• (#11) Some Interesting Equipment Was On Display

  From Redditor /u/mybrainisawesome:

  Sex swing prominently displayed in the master bed.
• (#12) The Realtor Had A Lead Foot

  From Redditor /u/galextresia:

  Not a realtor, but my mom is and we were selling our house. We were in the process of an open house when all of the sudden there was a large crashing sound. Apparently another real estate agent pulled into our driveway to look at the house from the outside and instead of backing out, accelerated through the garage door. She denied accelerating into the garage door and claimed that while trying to back up, the slope on our driveway was steep enough that it somehow sent her through.
• (#13) They Walked In On A Dog Funeral

  From Redditor /u/imalittlesleastak:

  We were doing the pre-purchase inspection. Noticed a kid in the backyard near some woods kneeling and digging with a shovel. We walked over to say hi and see what was up. He turns and says, "Get the f*ck out of my face." We decide its best to leave him be.

  Turns out the home sale was due to divorce, he was the son of the sellers and had just come to get the last of his things out of the garage, somehow had run over his dog with his Jeep and decided to bury the dead dog in the back yard of the house we were buying. Felt bad for the kid.
• (#14) They Found Some DIY Electrical Work

  From Redditor /u/BallisticBurrito:

  Went looking at a house with my realtor last year. I was going through the basement and noticed a very large orange extension cable bundled up in the rafters and going up a hole we deduced was the upstairs bathroom. Went looking and found a power strip zip tied to the side of the sink right next to the toilet.
• (#15) They Found A Cop On The Bed

  From Redditor /u/xwwarriorx:

  Ok, not me but a good friend of mine was showing a house.

  No big deal, he's the listing agent so he has keys and is under contract to show the house. He tries to call the owners, no answer. Tries both cell numbers on the way over, still no answer. He shows up at the house just as the couple is pulling up. House looks empty, they go in knocking, announcing (literally yelling) that they were coming in.

  They tour the whole downstairs, move to the upstairs and are looking though bedrooms. Talking, laughing, commenting about the house and such. They get to the end of the hall, open the double doors to the bedroom, and there's the owner.

  The owner is a police officer. In full uniform. Laid out on top of the bed in the master bedroom. He's asleep with one of those masks covering his eyes. The broker and the couple see him about the same time and they all freeze, standing there for a few very long awkward seconds of total stunned silence. Needless to say they all turned around and left very quietly.

  And no, they didn't buy the house.

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