Random Police And Citizens Share Best Ways To Get Out Of Tickets (17 items)

• (#1) Dress For Success

  From/u/bradycarlson:

  I had a friend who wore a "Support Your Local Law Enforcement" t-shirt every time he drove on the highway to/from college. Got a zillion warnings, zero tickets.
• (#2) Cops Know Sh*t Happens

  From Redditor/u/Jesv:

  I'm not a cop but I was let off after going pretty fast down the highway. Since I had passed the last exit ramp my stomach was in knots. I had to go to the bathroom ASAP. A cop pulled me over and I was sweating; I told him that if I didn't make it to the restroom soon I was going to blow. I told him that he could follow me two miles to the rest area. He would wait outside the bathroom and then I would take any punishment he deemed necessary. He laughed, followed me to the exit with his lights and waited outside the family bathroom. I'm sure he heard the watery explosion, I came out and he said "I can see you weren't lying," as he did in fact hear me. Let me off with a warning and we went about our day.
• (#3) A Little Laughter Goes A Long Way

  From ImJustSo:

  I've been ticketed once I think and I've been let go about twenty times. I always think of the funniest sh*t I can at the time.

  Example: Got pulled over and it was raining, the officer asked if I knew why he pulled me over. I said with the biggest grin, "Because you like walks in the rain and conversations with strangers? :)" and he said, "Oh God. Get the f*ck outta here."
• (#4) Be Extra Cooperative

  From Redditor/u/ifeelyabrah:

  I didn't make up a story. I said something along the lines of "I know I went over the speed limit, It's my fault, I understand the risks of speeding, and I have no excuse. Just hand me my ticket, I'll pay whatever needs to be paid, and we can be on our way." He stopped writing, scratched his head, got back in his car, and just drove off. I like to think maybe he had a bad day dealing with other crazy drivers, and I happened to be the most cooperative one.
• (#5) It Helps To Have Fans

  From Redditor/u/bigfatartcat:

  We got let off once because our three boys who were sitting in the back seat went nuts when they saw the officer walk up to the window. Nuts, so excited to see a police officer in real life like he was a unicorn or celebrity.

  Boys: "Police opsifer! Police opficer!!! Look!! Pleeece maaaan! Hi! Hi! Hi! Pleessse opfizer! !!! Hiiiiii!!!"

  Officer: "License and registration."

  Boys: "It's a Pleeece main! A Pleeece opfizer! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

  Me: "Okay guys, shhh, that's enough." They completely ignore me keep on begging him to notice them.

  Guy looks behind us, kind of snickers for a second at our crazy brood, and I'm thinking how I wish they would stop. He leaves, comes back after about 30 seconds and tells us to slow down and watch out because the speed limit changed at the state boarder we just crossed. Then he turns and does this subtle kind of acknowledgment nod to our two-year-old, who is basically whisper-chanting "police man" under his breath this whole time, and they all explode in this cackling howl of appreciation.
• (#6) Show Those Hands

  From Redditor/u/SaucyFingers:

  My uncle was a cop with the NYPD in the '70s and '80s assigned to the 41st Precinct (South Bronx). He said his goal every day was to just make it home alive. His advice to me regarding traffic stops was to pull far enough off the road to allow the cop to walk up to your window without being in traffic and to keep my hands on the wheel the entire time. As long as he could see hands the entire time, he usually wouldn't bother writing a ticket. He didn't care if the driver mouthed off or argued as long as he could always see hands. I've since followed this advice and it does seem to put the officer at ease and has gotten me out of some tickets. Having a nice rack probably helps me too.
• (#7) Arachnophobia Comes In Handy

  From Redditor/u/jessosaur:

  I get pulled over after weaving dangerously over two lanes (luckily bare at that time of day, but still on the outskirts of the city). I pull over, the cop asks what's up, and I show him the humongous f*cking spider that I had just killed with a Wal-Mart receipt. It had been crawling on my windshield, about five inches from my face since I'm short.

  He laughs, I leave. No ticket.
• (#8) Animal Improvisation Can Save You A Pretty Penny

  From Redditor/u/jtm1994:

  I had my dog in the car. He was about 10 at the time and, being a black dog, he looked real old because of his gray-on-black coloring. Got pulled up for speeding and as the cop came to my window I frantically looked around the car for an excuse and decided on Ben.

  I lowered my window and tried to put on my best panicky voice and started a rant about how I was taking Ben to the vet and it was an emergency situation because he was sick. As I was telling my lie, on cue, Ben actually began vomiting white stuff in the back of my car. The cop obviously thought I was telling the truth then, so they let me go and wished us luck. Really though, Ben being a Labrador, had eaten a whole bag of milk powder that morning and was fine afterward. He actually ate the vomit back up so it wasn't even hard to clean. I am forever indebted to that dog.
• (#9) Self-Serving Self-Deprecation

  From Redditor/u/whatistheuse:

  Only time I ever got a warning instead of a ticket, cop asked me if I had an emergency or any reason I was traveling 20 mph over the limit. I said, "No sir, I just had my head up my ass." Smile and a warning.
• (#10) People Trust Doctors

  From Redditor/u/Michael_APKPLZ:

  If you're in medicine or emergency services of any kind, you're less likely to get a ticket.

  This is because a lot of cops are superstitious. They're afraid (not without reason) that someday you might be driving their ambulance or sewing their lacerations. You don't have to be flat-out about it, but a t-shirt or a car sticker showing that you're a nurse/doctor/paramedic/EMT will definitely get you brownie points.

  Nurses get the most leeway. Nurses are the beat cops of the medical profession, and the police want to stay on their good side. (And yeah, being female and/or attractive helps.) Firefighters get the least amount of leeway... because there's a decent chance that at some point, a cop's girlfriend left him for a firefighter.

  I'm a very safe driver. The last time I got pulled over was three years ago, for turning into a corner gas station to skip the red light. I also happened to be late on my registration and inspection because money was tight that month. I was wearing my EMT training t-shirt. He asked about it - I was an EMT-B student at the time. Let me off with a warning on the traffic violation, the inspection, AND the registration.

  My mom was a nurse for 20 years and a serial speeder. If she was wearing her scrubs there was almost no chance she was getting a ticket.
• (#11) Get Familiar With The Drill

  From Redditor/u/itcouldalwaysbeworse:

  I always put both hands out the window while holding my keys. Not sure why and they always laugh but say thanks.

  Only time I've been let off was when I was in my uniform and the officer must have been prior service. He yelled at me like my old Drill Sergeants did. Then proceeded to tell me to get the f*ck out of his face and hold my self to higher standards and slow the f*ck down.
• (#12) A Stupid Way To Get Out Of A Ticket

  From Redditor/u/Kellerbier:

  In a similar vein, I ran a stop, a cop once pulled me over and I burst out with "I'm really f*cking stupid!" She laughed, said "well, you said it..." and let me off with a warning.
• (#13) Gotta Make The Crazy Train

  From ratinthecellar:

  I pulled a guy over once that said as soon as I walked up "I know I know I was going too fast, but 'Crazy Train' was on and it makes me!" I let him go with a warning.
• (#14) Grandma Always Comes Through

  From Redditor/u/Spudrockets:

  I was pulled over for having a broken tail-light. I had just gotten the car temporarily from my grandmother, who was getting a new one. When I explained that I had just started driving the car to the cop, that this was the first time I had ever actually turned the tail light on, I used the words "inherited from my Grandmother" which implied that she died (she didn't). The cop got just a bit softer, and I think that got me out of a ticket.
• (#15) Happy (Upcoming) Birthday!

  From Redditor/u/Whirlybear:

  I pretty much look for any excuse to not give someone a ticket.

  I didn't write someone a ticket a while back because their birthday was a few weeks away.
• (#16) Having A CDL Can Help

  From Redditor/u/eDgAR:

  When I was in high school, my dad was driving me home from a friend's house on a rainy night and we got pulled over. The cop asked why my dad had not made a stop at the stop sign and my dad explained that he didn't see it right away and didn't want to slam the brakes and hydroplane.

  The cop takes one look at my dad's license and says, "You have a CDL?" My dad says, "Yeah." The cops hands my dad back his information and says, "I'm letting off with a warning this time, but you should know better. Have a nice night."

  Apparently having a CDL license was enough to get him out of a ticket.
• (#17) Razzle Dazzle Them With Magic

  From Redditor/u/HangEmHigh89:

  I always keep a deck of cards in my car. Do a magic trick or ask him/her to pick a card and you will guess what it is. If they are willing to go along with the trick, then you will most likely get out with warning, assuming you didn't just run someone over.

New Random Displays    Display All By Ranking