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(#1) Asking To Bill Another Table
From Redditor /u/thedailydaren:
"You can give that table the bill, ha ha ha ha."
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(#2) The 'Anything Else' Requests
From Redditor /u/Bizarro_orraziB:
"Can I get you anything else?"
"How about the winning lotto numbers!"
Or when they take the check and say, "So how much do ya owe me?"
Ouch. My sides. Please. Stop.
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(#3) The 'I Can Be Sarah'
From Redditor /u/wellhere-iam:
"Sarah party of two?"
"I can be Sarah."
Get out.
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(#4) The 'It Was Terrible'
From Redditor /u/hanzahbonanza:
When you clear the empty plates and ask how their meal was and they say, “Oh it was just terrible!” as a joke, because ya know the food was good and they ate everything.
It’d be funnier if I didn’t hear it at least five times a shift.
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(#5) The 'Duck' Yell
From Redditor /u/Sarajte:
People yelling duck in a restaurant. The next one who does should get covered in tar and duck feathers.
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(#6) Asking To Sit Outside When It's Freezing
From Redditor /u/AcerbicFlower:
People think it's funny to request patio seating when it's below freezing. Good one!
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(#7) The 'We Didn't Order That' When The Check Comes
From Redditor /u/mandolin2712:
When you bring the check and they say, "We didn't order that."
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(#8) 'There's Nowhere To Sit' When The Restaurant Is Empty
From Redditor /u/mandolin2712:
When it's a slow night and they come in and look around and say, "Well, I don't know where we're gonna find room to sit!"
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(#9) When They Fake Criticize The Food
From Redditor /u/rx79g:
Q: How was your food today? A: Awful...
Every time someone does this with a straight face while they're paying, I have to ask if they'd like to speak to the manager. One time I laughed in response when they were totally serious and had had pretty poor service and were genuinely upset. If you're going to do this, at least make it very obvious you're joking.
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(#10) The 'Give My Kid The Check' From Parents
From Redditor /u/TakeOffYourMask:
When I was a waiter, every parent thought it was funny to point to their kid and say, "Give him (or her) the check!"
Every parent.
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(#11) When They Say 'No' To Showing ID
From Redditor /u/WeaselBit:
"Can I see your ID?"
"No." Pauses, laughs, and proceeds to pull it out to show me.
"Awesome, thanks." Unamused.
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(#12) The Offer To Take Someone Else's Food
From Redditor u\Who_what_whyy:
When a waiter brings out food in a bar/pub and says to a table, "Did you order the burgers?"
And they respond, "No, but I'll take them!"
How waiters must hate those people.
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(#13) The 'My Child Is A Half' From Parents
From Redditor /u/redsbymarbolo:
When people refer to their children as “halves.” The rest of their party just goes ballistic. Funniest sh*t ever. Especially the twentieth time around.
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(#14) The 'Keep The Change' Quip From The Drunk Guy Who Underpays
From Redditor /u/Oliveribus:
I'm a waiter in a local cocktail bar and the funniest joke of drunk guys is the "I give you not enough money and tell you to keep the change."
Haha, never heard that before...
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(#15) When They Joke About Not Having Enough Money
From Redditor /u/seekertrudy:
"Looks like my son will have to do the dishes..."
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(#16) The 'Send It Back' Response After Eating Everything
From Redditor u\volcan1:
"I'd like to send it back." When they've eaten everything.
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(#17) The Response About Shrinking Portions
From Redditor /u/fuzzy510:
I work in a steakhouse with rather large portions. I'm pretty much guaranteed every night to get some joke about, "What, did you all shrink the portions?" when they get their 28 oz. ribeye or gigantic side of broccoli.
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(#18) The 'No More' Response To A Refill
From a former Redditor:
When I ask if they'd like more iced tea and they respond, "Oh, no. Anymore and I'll float away!" I still don't get what that even means.
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(#19) The 'No Tip' Joke
From Redditor /u/erokk88:
"We are so excited to be here because of the special we read about online!"
Waiter: "What's that?"
"On the website it said it's national no-tip day! We were so excited when we saw that that we all had to come out."
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(#20) The 'Well Done' Comment That's Not About Steak
From a former Redditor:
"How would you like your steak?"
"Well done."
"Thank you, sir."
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(#21) The Meat Question At A Vegetarian Restaurant
From Redditor /u/tlztlz:
In my favorite vegetarian restaurant: "You really don't serve meat?"
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(#22) The Question About Food Stamps
From this Redditor:
Waiter brings the check. Dad says, "Do you take food stamps?"
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About This Tool
Although the experience of each restaurant server is different, they all have a common feature, that is, being annoyed by some bad behavior or words of customers. But sometimes, the behaviors or words that customers think are kind or funny will also bore the restaurant servers. For example, a joke may not sound funny at all, or even very embarrassing.
Sometimes this may be the customer's sense of humor. However, for a busy waiter, these jokes will be very speechless or even annoying. You could check the collection of random 22 jokes that restaurant servers do not want to hear.
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