Random Grossest Cover Stories of Young Female Stars (8 items)

• 

  (#7) Alicia Vikander

  • 30

  Rob Haskell loves describing women as "stricken" or "fragile," and Alicia Vikander is no exception. He profiles her in a 2015 Vogue article, in which he describes her as "childlike," "slight," and also "the most beautiful woman in the room whom you might not even notice at all."

  Haskell also seems bemused by her lack of physical size, despite the fact she's set to shoot a Bourne movie soon: "She is far from a bursting physical specimen; she flexes her bush-league biceps and laughs."
• 

  (#5) Dakota Johnson

  • 29

  Rob Haskell seems to have a rare knack for these types of cover stories. He interviewed Dakota Johnson for the January 2017 issue of Vogue, and his tendency to characterize female stars as sexual, yet childlike strikes again: "There is always, with Johnson, an air of naughtiness mingled with an air of surprised pleasure at her own naughtiness." He goes on to repeatedly mention her frequent nudity in the Fifty Shades of Grey movies, as well as how sexy she is in other films:

  "Very likely most people here have seen her naked. A lot."

  "The accrual and deployment of adolescent sexual power... have been Johnson’s on-screen dominion."

  "Fifty Shades Darker is a bit more of a thriller than its predecessor, and the sex, now that Ana has allowed Christian back into her life on her own terms, is more impassioned, less clinical."

  At least Johnson gets to frankly share her views on sexuality herself, and talk about her upcoming projects.
• 

  (#8) Jessica Simpson

  • 38

  In 2009, Rich Cohen profiled Jessica Simpson for Vanity Fair. He describes her figure in leering detail: "Jessica Simpson, who looks down from a marquee, slender and blonde and shaped like a barbell, booming on top and in the middle, skinny as a pencil between."

  He also refers to her "weight gain" as a "danger sign," and seems obsessed with it:

  "She didn’t want to talk about her weight, so, of course, that’s all I could think of - it gilded each question in my mind: What are you working on now [that you’re fat]? Do you see yourself as part of a class, with Christina and Britney [or are you too fat]? Do you feel that your relationship with Tony Romo has affected his performance as a quarterback [because you are fat]?"

  "I didn’t want to ask about her weight directly, so I hinted at it, asking instead about body image in general, physical changes, perception - from my questions, you might have thought I was interviewing the Wolf Man."

  Even unrelated objects are written about through the lens of her weight; he says she holds a microphone "like a turkey leg."
• 

  (#6) Angelina Jolie

  • 43

  Rich Cohen shared sometimes worshipful, sometimes insulting writing in a 2008 Vanity Fair profile of Angelina Jolie, and then again in a 2010 follow-up. Cohen seems awe-struck by Jolie's beauty at first, and almost repulsed by her later. He describes her as "a princess, an aristocrat" in the first piece; she's an "alien" with an alien head "too big for her body" and "alien in that big-headed Martian way" in the second. It's perplexing.

  To add to the ick factor, the first profile is entitled "A Woman in Full," and it repeatedly characterizes pregnant women as hungry, huge, and unrestrained (Jolie was pregnant at the time).
• 

  (#1) Selena Gomez

  • 26

  Selena Gomez was profiled in the March 2017 issue of Vogue, and the tone of the article raised plenty of readers' eyebrows. She was interviewed by Rob Haskell, who wastes no time in describing Gomez as if she's fragile doll and ready to shatter at a moment's notice:

  "As I slip an apron over her mane of chocolate-brown hair, for which Pantene has paid her millions, and tie it around her tiny waist, I wonder whether her legions have felt for years the same sharp pang of protectiveness that I’m feeling at present."

  Haskell characterizes Gomez as "doll-like and startled," and to top it all off he squeezes in a reference to Woody Allen and his relationship with the considerably younger Soon-Yi Previn.
• 

  (#4) Jennifer Lawrence

  • 28

  Not even Oscar-winning Jennifer Lawrence can escape the flowery language and persistent mentions of nudity that come with these celebrity profiles. In Jonathan Van Meter's 2015 profile of the star for Vogue, he immediately dives into questionable territory:

  "Here I stumble into a subject that I wouldn’t have dreamed of bringing up so soon: the nude-photo leak. It was exactly a year ago that hackers stole photos from Lawrence’s iCloud account and posted them on the Web."

  To his credit, Van Meter dedicates more words to describing her home's décor than Lawrence's looks. Still, if he was planning on asking about a violating experience, maybe he shouldn't have started the interview with it.

New Random Displays    Display All By Ranking