Random Funniest Jokes With Long Set Ups That Are Totally Worth the Wait (19 items)

• (#14) A ship wrecks onto a deserted island.

  Two guys and a girl survive. Since they don't have anything to do all day besides eating and sleeping, they just have sex. Eventually the girl gets sick and dies. The two men don't know what to do with themselves anymore, so they keep having sex.

  After a few days of sex, they feel guilty about what they've been doing... so they bury her.
• (#1) So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

  He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
   

  Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.
   

  Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.
   

  "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.

  
  The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
• (#18) In the great desert lived a bunch of nomads.

  Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank, due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.

  After leading the band for many years, Benny began to feel uncomfortable wearing the beards, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.

  When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said, "Do you now remember the ancient legend, dire? The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware."

  Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale.

  Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up. It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader.

  The council then knew the legend must be true. Their conclusion? "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."
  
• (#15) A guy goes to a psychiatrist.

  "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

  The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
  
• (#17) There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy.

  Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.

  Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.

  After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem.

  Soon, the king's tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king.

  Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use, the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him.

  The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: "People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones."
  
• (#16) A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings.

  The physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives. The engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.

  The mathematician runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares, "There IS a solution!", and then burns to death.

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