Random Divorce Lawyers And Legal Industry Employees Describe Nastiest Cases (19 items)

• (#1) He Named His Dog After His Ex-Wife

  From a former Redditor:

  My uncle represented this guy getting a divorce from his wife of 15 years. Super toxic breakup and they split everything 50/50, even the land that the house they lived in sat upon. Well she decides to build a house right behind the other house, mind you this was a lot of land probably 200 yards separating both home sites, so that the back of the houses faced each other. The house gets built and my uncle gets a call from his client asking about the legality of a situation he had gotten himself into.

  Apparently his ex wife would spend a lot of time in her backyard, so he saw her all the time. What he did was buy a female dog and name it the same name as his ex-wife. Anytime he would let his dog back in from letting her out he would yell "Susan you b*tch! Get in here!" He would also yell if she was peeing on the flowers, "Susan you b*tch! Quit p*ssing on the flowers!" or "Susan you b*tch! Quit digging in the dirt!"

  The ex-wife called the cops on him a couple of times, but there was nothing they could do because the dog was registered under the name of Susan.
• (#2) He Burned His Own House Down

  From a former Redditor:

  The couple separated 10 years ago but didn't officially divorce until a couple years ago. She was going to get his house so he burned it down then faxed her the transfer of ownership forms. He might be going to jail for arson though.
• (#3) A Conspiracy Theory Cost Her Over A Million Dollars

  From Redditor /u/Tchaikovsky08:

  Worked at a law firm that was subpoenaed as part of a divorce between a partner at the firm and a partner at another major law firm.

  The woman issued more than 70 subpoenas to banks, firms, investment companies - you name it - because she was convinced he had squirreled away $20+ million overseas behind her back. It got so bad that she dug up receipts from 25 years ago to try to put together this grand conspiracy puzzle.

  In the end, after she racked up $1.5 million in legal fees and 7 different lawyers, the judge said this sh*t is ridiculous --= there was no conspiracy, and you are not entitled to a portion of this phantom $20 million.

  Mind you: this was a major law firm partner who was acting this way. She made millions per year in her career. But she apparently lost her mind.
• (#4) They Itemized All The Food In The Cabinets

  From Redditor /u/JournalofFailure:

  I'm a family lawyer. Years ago I had a case where the other party did a statement of property which itemized all the food in the cupboards at the time of separation.
• (#5) He Only Wanted To Feed His Children

  From Redditor /u/PM_ME_TINY_DINOSAURS:

  My dad's a lawyer and during one case the husband tried to argue that he was due compensation for the food that was in the pantry because he could not be guaranteed that his ex-wife would use it "purely to feed his children and not his ex-wife's son from her first marriage."

  The judge just stared down at him for a good four minutes and didn't say anything. The husband eventually backed down.
• (#6) They Prioritized Their Divorce Over Their Child's Education

  From Redditor /u/BCECVE:

  A couple fought over an education check for their child. Neither would sign off first for fear the other would cash it and have fun, instead of help the child with her education. The check sat on my desk for two months while lawyers duked it out. The check was for $5,000. I felt so sorry for their child.
• (#7) Who Gets The Frozen Embryos?

  From a former Redditor:

  Not yet a lawyer (law student), but frozen embryos. Both treasured them at one point as the future children they have the potential to be, already have a child from IVF, but now one wants custody and the other wants them destroyed.
• (#8) He Used Her Pension To Buy Alcohol

  From Redditor /u/LaulauJ2017:

  Used to be a secretary for a family law solicitor.

  Had this one divorce case where the wife was a teacher of 30+ years and had a very nice pension. In the divorce settlement it was decided somehow that the pension would be considered as a marital asset and the husband was entitled to 40%. He wanted the money right away and so she had to cash in her pension so to speak and had to have a reduced amount. The husband ended up getting around £20,000.00 (approximately $25,000).

  He was an alcoholic, wasted the money and drank himself to death within two years of receiving the money.
• (#9) He Didn't Want To Give Her $3,000 - And Ended Up Paying $60,000

  From Redditor /u/toml3030:

  I'm not a lawyer, but I have worked for a lawyer who worked divorces. This was his favorite case.

  Guy was making $150K a year, [marries a Thai woman], has three kids. Dude has an affair... and initiates a divorce. The woman's only priority is to have custody of the kids, so against her attorney's advice, she's willing to take a deal where she takes a car and gets $1200 in child support, no spousal support, and $3,000 lump sum from their joint account so she can rent an apartment (there's ZERO chance that he actually wants custody of the children because he's already shacked up with the girl he's having an affair with).

  She wanted full custody so bad that she was willing to live with three kids in a modest [two bedroom] apartment and pull the kids out of expensive extra curricular activities they were doing to economize, as well as getting a crappy survival type of job after being nothing but a housewife since coming to US. One of the kids has some talent in an Olympics event, to the level where she was getting professional coaching lessons.

  The husband takes it to the front of the judge against the advice of his own attorney, who tells him that he's nuts to turn this down, because he doesn't want to give her $3K, and he figures the judge will decide between what she wants and what he wants, not realizing that there's a formula based on income judges use to determine child support payments.

  At the court, the judge awards the wife the $3K lump sum and $1700 child support... FOR EACH KID. So because he didn't want to give his ex wife $3K so his kids could have a place to live, about 50% of his take home pay is going to his ex for the next 10+ years.

  The attorney I worked with was a hardass about money and never did anything for free, but this was the one case where he represented the woman for just a nominal fee.
• (#10) She Ruined Her Relationship With Her Daughter Forever

  From Redditor /u/CptRobBob:

  Not a divorce attorney but I clerked for a judge that handled divorce cases. We had a couple that were both lieutenant colonels in the Air Force. They had one daughter that was about 11 or 12. Both had graduate degrees and were generally intelligent people.

  Well the husband had an affair and things went sour with the relationship. The daughter was at that age when her relationship with the mother was starting to get a little strained and she mentioned how she wanted to stick with her dad because he was about to be stationed elsewhere and the parents would be going their separate ways.

  The mother absolutely freaked. The first thing she did was go to the local police department and claim the father had been sexually assaulting the daughter. They investigated and couldn't find any evidence so they dropped the case. The mother, still furious, then goes to the Air Force Office of Special Investigations and reports the same thing. The Air Force then suspends the husband from duty and conducts their own investigation.

  They reach the same conclusion that there was no evidence of wrongdoing, and they dropped the case. The mother then goes to the next state over where the husband is about to be transferred and contacts the local police there with the same story about [...] assault. They of course do their own investigation but same result, case is dropped

  Of course this whole time the daughter has been interviewed a dozen times by psychologists, various therapists, the police, the Air Force, and who knows else. The daughter is straight up traumatized by this. People constantly asking her if her dad had been [hurting] her. Not to mention the harm it did to her father's career. He was basically screwed from any possible promotion just because of the allegations. As well as the fact that infidelity in the military is a big no no. But that was his own doing.

  Well once word of all this gets back to the judge he is furious. He's a former Air Force Jag and still has contacts in the ranks. Well anyway the couple comes in front of him one day for a hearing and he outright tells her she better stop this behavior or he's going to hold her in contempt of court for the maximum amount of time he can lawfully hold her in a cell, contact the DA and recommend the filing of charges, contact her Air Force superiors and recommend reprimand to the fullest extent possible, and basically anything and everything he can do within his power.

  It was one of the most messed up things I've seen during my relatively short experience in the legal world.

  Edit: For those of you freaking out because she received no consequences: She lost any hope for a relationship with her daughter, possibly for the rest of her life. Her Air Force career was over. And last I heard the DA's office was looking into possible charges. I don't know what happened with that because I left soon after all of this happened. The judge in this situation didn't have much authority outside the divorce itself. He can make recommendations and suggestions to the DA and Air Force, but has no power to bring charges. The most he can do is put her in contempt of court.
• (#11) People Use Their Children To Get What They Want

  From Redditor /u/mbs05:

  Don't do this kind of work anymore, but honestly? Using the kids as weapons during the case. The kids are the only ones who have absolutely no responsibility for the situation. Both adults, to some degree and at some time, made the decisions that brought them to where they are.

  Also see plenty of incompetence on property settlements... Ask questions and demand inventories, people of Reddit. Might justifiably end up with a lot of money for your simple efforts on that front.
• (#12) A Private Detective Uncovered An Illicit Affair

  From Redditor /u/lightknight7777:

  A girl and her mother hired a PI who obtained pictures of her husband and his boss cheating on their spouses in the home of a government official who had been accepting their bids for contract work with the state for years. The photographs also showed them drinking and driving in the company vehicles.

  By agreeing not to receive alimony, she was able to raid the hell out of savings, retirement, and got debt paid off as well as a general lump sum of cash up front. But then, after the settlement the pictures of their highly illegal activities were sent to the company owners who promptly fired his manager for wild impropriety and drinking on the job and had the ex-husband submit his resignation for the same thing. The government official also lost her job, which meant her employee who the husband was sleeping with also lost a job.

  So the dude got ruined and she made bank. She also got out of a very unhappy marriage, guilt-free whereas beforehand she felt obligated to remain in a very abusive relationship due to religious hangups. The thing is, she has to be one of the sweetest girls I know. But man, does she know how to revenge.

  EDIT: Let me clarify, she did not use the pictures to obtain any more money than normal. She did not take the cash as any kind of payoff to be quiet about it afterwards. He just decided to pay her more money up front rather than having the loose end of alimony last years after the fact and potentially being a lot more money in the end. He just didn't know that his illegal activities would also cost him the job that would have reduced the alimony payments to significantly less. Either way, she didn't commit any crime, rather she uncovered one and rightfully reported it.
• (#13) They Spent Thousands Of Dollars In Legal Fees - Over A Picture

  From Redditor /u/Stebes30:

  I'm not a lawyer but a law student. Worked for a firm over the summer and one of the lawyers worked a divorce case that he knows as the "Praying hands" case.

  Divorce is all but finalized, but by the hand of God, there a couple more issues to deal with. One of them was a picture of praying hands with a rosary around it. Apparently the divorce was pretty messy and it all just culminated over this picture. Each client paid their lawyer hourly (hundreds of dollars) rates to try to figure out who got this one, essentially worthless picture. Like you could get this thing at any Christian bookstore or whatever.

  But this apparently went on for over a day. Just two lawyers arguing and negotiating over a worthless picture where they both know it is purely out of spite and a waste of their time. I guess you don't bite the hand that feeds though...
• (#14) Affairs, Abuse, And Attempted Murder

  From Redditor /u/MrPokinatcha:

  I've got a few. My single mom is a (now retired) divorce lawyer, so these terrible stories brought food to my table my whole life.

  One guy comes, needed a lawyer to divorce his wife who he loved deeply. Apparently in seven years of marriage they have never had sex because every time they tried her vagina just clamped up and it was physically impossible. She said it was a psychological issue, and he was always understanding and supportive. That is, until he found a hard drive with videos of her having affairs every other week, the earliest dated from more or less around when they got married. One video was even labeled as happening in a city and date where he took her on vacation.

  Another woman that was super alcoholic and mentally abusive to her children. The day the kids were in court to tell the judge who they would prefer to stay with, the six-year-old said: "I'm gonna say mommy because if I don't I'm getting the belt tonight." Child services were instantly called, Papa got custody.

  But the worst was this crazy dangerous guy, that was gonna get half of his wife's assets. So knowing that his (still mother-in-law) was loaded, he basically tried to [end her life] so his wife got the inheritance and he would get half of that. Obviously his plan didn't work AT ALL. Now he's in jail for attempted murder and sent the poor old lady to the hospital for weeks.
• (#15) A Spouse Had To Drive Over A Hundred Miles Away To See A Lawyer

  From Redditor /u/moondogrm:

  The most vicious yet strategic thing I've seen is going for a consultation at every lawyer within a hundred kilometer radius, which forced the spouse to go to the nearest major city to get an attorney. All the other attorneys would have a conflict of interest because of the previous consultation. The spouse ended up paying out the [butt] for representation and had to drive over an hour for any meetings, which means they had to take days off every time they had a meeting
• (#16) They Both Preferred The Cat Over The Kids

  From Redditor /u/biepboep:

  They had two little kids and a cat, and neither of them wanted custody of the kids, but both wanted to keep the cat.
• (#17) NASCAR Bans, Shooting Trophies, And Custody Reversals

  From Redditor /u/jennifer1911:

  I had a few.

  One guy had his wife served with the divorce papers while she was in the hospital undergoing cancer treatment. She had no idea he wanted a divorce.

  One guy wanted a provision in his divorce that said his sons couldn't watch NASCAR because the wife's new boyfriend was into NASCAR.

  In the same case, the property division was so contentious that the judge had the parties list every piece of furniture in the house and try to work through who would get what. The guy made sure that he wanted everything she did, down to things like lace doilies her grandma made and some trophy she won in a women's shooting competition ("I bought her the gun so its pretty much my trophy").

  Another guy wanted no custody and no visitation with his four sons until he learned how much child support would be. Then he wanted full custody with no visitation for the wife in the hope that she'd have to pay him child support.

  I only did divorces for about a year before I moved on to mortgage foreclosures. Those are far less depressing.
• (#18) The Husband Who Put An Ad In The Paper

  From redditor /u/Eensquatch:

  I was a secretary for an attorney.

  I think the most entertaining one was when a guy had to divorce his wife via newspaper because she wouldn't leave the house or answer the door for the process server.
• (#19) Taking Her Dog Wasn't Enough For Him

  From Redditor /u/akasakasan:

  A man came into the family law firm my friend was working in and says his wife was cheating on him. He's extremely rich and wants to get divorced. The lawyer proceeds to ask him about his assets and what he wants to keep. He says that she can have the house, the car, the boat the kids etc. The lawyer asks him what he wants to keep then, given that he doesn't seem to want anything.

  The man angrily responds- "That b**ch only loves her dog. I want her to suffer so I want the court to order that the dog be taken away from her and cremated. She can have 50% of the ashes and I'll have the other 50%."

  Somehow this prince among men is getting divorced.

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