Random Crazy Good Fan Theories About South Park (15 items)

(#7) Kenny's Family Is so Poor Because of All His Funerals
For Kenny's family, it's tough to say which is harder, to have a son that routinely dies or to have to pay those funeral expenses time and time again. According to this theory, that's why Kenny's family is so poor. They've had to pay for dozens of funerals for their son, only to have him come back to life and die again each time.
(#6) Kenny Is the Reason No One Ages in South Park
Basically, the idea behind this theory is that Kenny isn't immortal, but he does have a unique ability to regenerate. It states that time then warps around him in a supernatural way and the whole town of South Park has somehow gotten wrapped up in his regenerative time warping phenomenon. Of course, the boys did once age up to fourth grade, but they've been stuck there ever since.
(#3) Kenny, Stan, and Kyle Are Still Friends with Cartman Because He's Right So Often
One of the greatest mysteries of South Park is why anyone is still friends with Cartman. He's proven time and time again that he's calculating, bigoted, and downright vindictive, especially when it comes to Kyle. This theory explains that while he is all of those things, he's so often correct that he's worth keeping around. He may just destroy a life or two, but he's been known to be right about a great deal of major things that no one else believed, until he proved them wrong of course.
(#9) Kenny, Cartman, Kyle, And Stan Represent The Four Horsemen
In this theory, Cartman represents Conquest and Kenny represents Death, they're the two obvious ones. Then Kyle is War being he is so often the one fighting with Cartman and the world at large. Stan is Famine because without him, the rest of the group would be starved. This one is a bit more of a stretch but Stan is often the leader, protagonist, and voice of reason, so it kind of works.
(#2) Cartman Is Deeply Self-Loathing
For this theory to be true, Cartman has to be far more intelligent and self-aware than he gets credit for. It says that the reason for his outlandish behavior, especially towards Jews and Kyle, is that he's lashing out against the one person who constantly reminds him of who really is: an insecure kid who is uncomfortable with himself. Kyle is relentlessly and brutally truthful with Cartman, but rather become a better person, Cartman externalizes his self-loathing, resulting in hate for anyone different from himself, whether they're Jewish people or gingers.
(#5) South Park Is Just the World the Kids See
For most kids, the world is a strange and mysterious place. Add in a few highly active imaginations and it's possible that all of what happens in the town South Park is real, except it's being told from the kids' exaggerated point of view. Kenny dying, for instance, might just be their overreactions to him being clumsy and getting hurt frequently.