Random Best Jobs For Hipsters (19 items)

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  (#1) Barista

  • Profession

  Hipsters can't exist without coffee and ironic beer, so it seems only natural that they would choose a job where they handle the caffeinated beverage of choice of so many hipster brethren.
• 

  (#2) Artist

  If you're going to sit around and leech off of your parents or your trust fund, you have to do something that could potentially count as a job (or at least a money-making avenue) and there are SO many things that can be called "art", you're bound to come up with something passable.
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  (#3) Writer

  It can be done at home away from people or in a coffee shop in full view of people you want to make sure know you're making your living as a writer. As a bonus, many writers are horrendous alcoholics, so hipsters can work their drinking habits into their professional life. 
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  (#4) Thrift Store Clerk

  First access to bags of second-hand clothing as far as the eye can see?? How do ALL hipsters not already have this job?
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  (#5) Blogger

  Hipsters detest contact with other people and love talking about themselves, so this job- which can be completed at home or on the sidewalk in front of some coffee shop so that people know they're blogging- is a perfect fit.
• 

  (#6) Professional Student

  If you never graduate (or graduate enough times), you never have to get a job and become beholden to "the man" and his corporate agenda.
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  (#7) Music Critic

  Hipsters love to talk about music you haven't heard of, so this is a tough one for hipsters to commit to. On the one hand, you get to give your opinion- good or bad- on a band you've discovered (before anyone else) to anyone who will listen.

  On the other, once you've told people about this band, you obviously can't be into them anymore because hipsters only like things other people don't know about or don't like.
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  (#8) Craft Beer Brewer

  What better way to drink a beer before anyone else has than to brew it yourself? 
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  (#9) Website Designer

  Some hipsters have mad computer skills, and this job (which has tremendous work-from-home potential) allows them to do something creative and geeky at the same time.
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  (#10) Food Critic

  It's just another opportunity to talk about things that other people should hate (or, on that rare occasion, love) just as much as the person writing about it does.
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  (#11) Movie Critic

  This is the perfect opportunity for hipsters to tell people they understand a movie you didn't, or hated something you love, or just devote a whole column to saying things loosely related to the movie that don't actually give a critique of the film. 
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  (#12) Clothing Designer

  Not all hipsters have the patience to dig through the Goodwill bins (or deal with the people that shop there based on need rather than fashion), so there has to be someone to design the barely there, chevron-festooned garb that will eventually hang on the sale rack at Urban Outfitters.
• 

  (#13) Mixologist

  Listen, hipsters are not simply bartenders, they are craftsmen of drinks. Any schlub can throw cucumber in a drink and call it a cocktail, but "mixologists" add things like lavender and aperol (no idea what that is) to their creations with reckless abandon or concern about taste.
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  (#14) Filmmaker

  • Short Film
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  (#15) Graphic Designer

  • Profession
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  (#16) Professional Dog Walker

  
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  (#17) Hair Stylist

  • Job
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  (#18) Waiter

  Synonymous with "Aspiring ___", the waiter does have to interact with people, but generally with snark and disdain.
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  (#19) Janitor

  Given the wardrobe, this is an easy sell. Option A: you're wearing a sweet workshirt with a name badge. Option B: you get to wear whatever you want (because you're cleaning up piss), especially that ironic trucker hat.

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