Random Bartenders Describe Their Worst Custom (15 items)

• (#1) When You've Got To Go, You've Got To Go

  If you've ever been to Las Vegas then you know the type of gambler who hangs out at the video poker machines all day and plays until they're blackout drunk. When watching those players you might wonder where they go to the bathroom. Well, as the Redditor Canna_Banana points out, not where you want them to.

  "[A] guest came up to me to say that this guy just ripped his d**k out and pissed in a water bottle at the bar. Let me remind you the water bottles at my work are the little like 8 oz bottles. I look to see if this is true and what do I see sitting on the bar top?? A water bottle filled with piss color water. I'm like, "WTF this isn't real." The guy is still playing like nothing even happened with his piss bottle sitting in front of him. I called my manger over to do the cut off and when she went to talk to him we realized not only was he a nasty f**king drunk. He had sh*tty aim."

   
• (#2) Mullet Madness

  While bartending one day, Redditor comeautwin served a beer to a guy wearing a trucker hat with fluffy red mullet who passed out half way through his beer. After trying to wake him, the bartender called 911 and had the staff put the guy on his back, when that happened the cap and mullet fell off...revealing a second mullet. After calling 911 an ambulance and the cops arrived, who ended up arresting the guy for murdering his girlfriend. 
• (#3) She Must Have Had A Hot Boyfriend

  While Redditor djstephaniebell was working as a cocktail waitress back in the early 2000s, she says that her boyfriend used to hang out in the bar all night while he waited for her to get off work (is that a cool boyfriend move? Or the coolest boyfriend move?). One night there was a super drunk lady who wouldn't stop hitting on the boyfriend, and when she found out that he was dating the waitress the lady went ballistic.

  "She no sh*t broke her glass on the counter and tried to come at me. I picked up the first thing close by which was a cocktail tray and just slapped her in the face with it and she fell right over and we threw her out."
• (#4) That's Not The Bathroom

  If you've ever worked in a bar and restaurant, you know that the walk in freezer is your one safe space away from the drudgery of work. But one drunk guy can ruin everything by urinating all over your chicken wings. According to this bartending redditor, "Dude had to pay for like 5 boxes of wings and was banned."
• (#5) What's the Difference Between Michelob Light And Michelob Ultra?

  Redditor Steebs recounted an evening where a super drunk guy had too many Michelob Ultras at an Outback Steakhouse, and when he was rung up for Michelob Lights, he threw his mug at the bartender like a complete monster. To add it the insult, the guy had to be carried out by 5'4 barback who slammed his face into an emergency exit. 
• (#6) Black Belts Are Nothing but Trouble

  One night while bartending at a wedding, Redditor savemejebus0 had the unfortunate luck of running into a Steven Segal wannabe who threw around his karate acumen like so many old socks. After the bartender cut off the karate man, things got serious.

  "I told him I was going to call the cops if he threatened me one more time and then he told me to f*ck off again and went out the side door and fell down the stairs. I saw people help him up and he was bleeding from the head. They tried to get his keys from him but he over powered the men downstairs, got in his car, and drove off."
• (#7) Let's Get Ready To Rumble

  One Redditor served a guy 7(!) vodka cranberries, and two full steak dinners before getting into the shortest fist fight known man and only getting $70 of a $200+ bill. 
• (#8) Every Bar Needs An MMA Guy To Just Hang Out

  While working in what sounds like a truly abysmal pub, a Redditor had to deal with a client who didn't want to be served by a woman. He had a fit and then threw a drink on her, all before some random MMA guy showed up and out tough-guyed him.  
• (#9) Classic Midlife Crisis

   

  A Redditor had the good fortune of seeing one of the weirdest midlife crises to ever occur when a middle-aged woman showed up at her high end establishment, got wasted on a martini and some $350 champagne, and started screaming at her manager before being kicked out of the bar without her purse, money, or shoes.

  "Fast forward another 30 minutes and we see this crazy broad walking in the middle of a VERY busy street stopping traffic. The kicker? She had brand new shoes on! We have no idea where she bought them because she left her purse with us. She gets across the busy street after holding up traffic for quite some time, finds a patch of grass in a strip mall, and just starts rolling in the grass like a child would."  

   
• (#10) Football Fans Love Breaking Hands

  We have true empathy for people that work at sports bars. First of all you have to talk sports all day, and then when things don't go well for your team your customers turn into goblins. The Redditor PulseAmplifiction had a run in with a 6', 250 pound customer who got real belligerent, real fast. When the bartender told him that he was 86'd the guy threatened to break the bartenders hands. Luckily, a mysterious Chuck Norris figure was in the bar killing time and knocked the guy out in one punch. 
• (#11) You Can't Pay Your Tab With A Hotel Key

  Try as we might, we still can't pay a hotel bar tab with a hotel key, but that didn't stop this winner from trying after running up a bar tab with an anonymous Redditor. The sneaky bar patron handed the bartender his hotel card key and tried to walk away. 

  "I stopped him and he proceeded to argue with me saying that he doesn't have a hotel key with him and he already paid. I tell him to open his wallet, which he does, and I pull the hotel key out. He then pays and doesn't tip, and walks away with middle fingers extended. I had him thrown out."
• (#12) There's Always One Guy With Crazy Eyes

  This is one of the few TL;DR stories worth reading on the Internet and it makes us never want to go to New York again. According to an anonymous Redditor, everything started when a "crazy-eyed local" was kicked out of a bar for throwing a glass at a bartender (natch). Things escalated from there when Crazy Eyes returned to the bar the next day with a knife and ended up being hauled in. There's also a subplot in this story about Crazy Eyes having someone working for him that offers people money to move out of state. It's a real deal nightmare story. 
• (#13) You Don't Tell Ric Flair No

  Sorry wrestle heads, but it turns out that Ric Flair is a total dick. Redditor Xanador44 attests to as much after serving him pizza and beer at an airport bar. According to the redditor, Flair was shocked that a pizza would take 20 minutes to make (honestly that does feel like 4 minutes longer than it should take to cook a sh*tty airport pizza) and started throwing around cash and trying to intimidate the bartender. Ric Flair never did get his pizza. 
• (#14) Drunk Guy With A Concussion

  While one Redditor was working at a bar with a slick concrete floor (is your crown already aching?), he witnessed one drunk guy slip and smash his head on the ground while his two buddies drank mojitos and tried to prank their server. Maybe there should be a mandatory drinking helmet handed out at every frat. Or carpeted bars?
• (#15) No Punks Allowed

  This delightful story comes all the way from merry ol' England. When an anonymous Redditor denied service to an old punk at a bar, the punk thought it was because he was a punk, then he thought it was because he was Irish and tried to pull the race card. The bartender had to break the situation down for him so it was clear as a mirror in the bathroom. The rest of the story allegedly went like this: 

  "Sir you have clearly had a few drinks already and it is against the law for me to serve a drunk person. He calmed down immediately and just said 'Sorry I didn't know that, goodnight.' and he stumbled out."

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