Random Secrets from Aboard A Cruise Ship (29 items)

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  (#1) All Ships Have Room To Store Three Corpses

   

  If someone passes while onboard, the corpse will be interred in the morgue. 

   
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  (#2) Go Exploring — They Don't Lock The Doors!

  Almost no doors on a cruise ship actually lock; they can't have locks in case of emergency. So if you're feeling curious one night, have a look around. You can explore most parts of the ship at night.
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  (#3) Most Cruise Ships Really Do Have A Brig

  If there's a hostile incident between guests or crew members, they try to diffuse it without physical intervention, but if that's not possible, most cruise ships have at least one cabin designated as the brig.
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  (#4) Beat Seasickness With Green Apples And Crackers

  Queasy? Try green apples and bland crackers — some crew members swear by this remedy. Or you can score seasickness meds from the purser's desk (the cruise ship version of a concierge) for free.
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  (#5) It Costs A Lot To Pass Through The Panama Canal

  Cruises are expensive, not only for guests, but for the cruise industry itself. To pass through the Panama Canal, ships pay per berth (or bed). For an average cruise ship, it costs approximately $300,000. 
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  (#6) Sail For Free By Offering Your Services As A Lecturer

  Many major cruise lines provide free passage to guests qualified to lecture on board. Call the line's entertainment office to see if you have the necessary skills.

   
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  (#7) Juice Up For The Journey To Save Some Cash

  You're almost always charged extra for soft drinks, beer, wine, and cocktails at meals, but stick to juice and you'll drink for free on most ships.

   
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  (#8) Gaze Wistfully At The Horizon If You're Struggling With Seasickness

  If you're sick to your stomach, stay midship and as close to the waterline as possible (that area doesn't rock as much as the front). Lie down where you can see the horizon (this places your head in a fixed position).
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  (#9) Skip The Spa Until You're In Port

  While out to sea, skip the spa and wait until you reach a port: Cruise lines often offer spa discounts when the ship is in port.

   
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  (#10) Skip Port Of Call And Enjoy The Empty Ship Instead

  Port calls can be hit or miss. Oftentimes, you barely get to see the place you’re visiting, and you’re paying a high price for the (lack of) privilege if you book an excursion. If you can bear missing out on six hours crammed on a tour bus, stay on board. Most facilities are still open, and you’ll have them all to yourself.
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  (#11) Try To Party With The Crew For Cheaper Drinks

  On sea days crew members are supposed to dress up, go out, mingle with travelers, and party without drinking too much. The crew also pays less for drinks, so why not make a friend?

   
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  (#12) Don't Get Fighting Mad

  If you misbehave, the Captain has the right to put you off the ship at the next port without a refund or way back home. So be sure to be on your best behavior.

   
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  (#13) Crew Members Call Passengers 'Cones'

  Why cones? Passengers genereally do not have their sea legs and are often slow and careful as they walk, so the crew is constantly walking around them to get around on the ship.

   
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  (#14) Spring for the Travel Insurance

  Travel insurance reimburses you. A trip to the ship doctor will cost you upfront, but you'll likely be reimbursed. Be sure to get receipts, the names of those providing assistance, and keep a log of your experience.
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  (#15) The Crew Has Its Own (Cheaper) Bar

  The crew has its own watering hole where they can drink cheap. Might they hook up? Sometimes, but most relationships don't last longer than the ship contract.

   
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  (#16) Bring the Emergen-C

  Disease spreads pretty fast on a cruise ship, therefore the crew does what it can to keep the ship (and themselves) clean and healthy. However, illness is sometimes unavoidable. When it does happen, the ailing crew member is usually isolated to his or her room to prevent the illness from spreading to passengers and other crew members.

   
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  (#17) Brown Nose the Captain

   

  The Captain is the top dog, so if you see them walking about the ship, make eye contact and if the opportunity presents itself, shake their hand and thank them for the marvelous ride they're giving you. It can't hurt to have the captain on your side if you have a problem while onboard.

   
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  (#18) BYOB (Or Whatever Else You're Drinking)

  Booze on cruise ships isn't cheap, so consider sneaking on your own libations if you can (putting booze in mouthwash bottles is a great trick). If you do buy it on the ship, try to buy packs of beer and full bottles of wine, not individual drinks, to get the most for your money.

   
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  (#19) The Early Bird Catches The Better Dining Experience

  Queue up early for specialty food spots like burrito bars and sushi. The lines for those can get long fast and you'll end up eating at the buffets to avoid them.

   
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  (#20) Not All Cruises Are All-Inclusive

  Cruises are not necessarily all-inclusive. Shore excursions, spa treatments, and plenty of other things cost extra dough, so watch the fine print.
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  (#21) Head To Adults-Only Areas If You Can't Get A Poolside Spot

  At full capacity a ship can have a few thousand passengers and nowhere near the amount of deck chairs needed to accommodate them all poolside. The result? A mass of people sun-burning in tandem on chairs they claimed early and refuse to give up.

  Instead, duck the hubbub. Most new vessels have adults-only areas, some with pools, and these are almost always less crowded. Also be sure to scope out the ship deck plans for a place to call your own.
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  (#22) Gratuities? The Cruise Lines Will Take Care of Them for You

  Gratuities are conveniently charged to your account everyday, so you don't really have to think about it. You can even pre-pay this amount before boarding.
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  (#23) Need to Cancel? Don't!

  It’s a shame to have to call off a vacation, but it happens. Unfortunately, if an unexpected event forces you to cancel your cruise, you can find yourself eating the entire cost, with no refunds. Many cruise lines have incredibly Draconian cancelation policies, requiring customers to cancel their reservations as long as 120 days before departure to get all their money back.
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  (#24) Travel in Packs and Save Big Bucks

  Nearly every cruise line will toss in one free cabin or other attractive discounts if you travel in a large group.
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  (#25) Avoid Any Dental Emergencies While At Sea

  Unless you are on a really long cruise, you may want to skip flossing for a few days. Either that or bring along some Superglue if you have anything other than original teeth in your mouth. Crowns, bridgework, and fillings all love to jump out of your mouth at sea, and there are little to no dental facilities on board most cruise ships.

   
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  (#26) The Ocean Is Your Toilet

  What happens to all of the toilet waste on a cruise ship? A cruise ship on a one-week voyage is estimated to generate 210,000 gallons of human waste. What happens to all that nastiness? It gets dumped into the ocean.

  Known as “blackwater” in the industry, the fecal matter and urine generated onboard are treated to remove moisture and then simply dumped overboard.
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  (#27) Cruise Lines Skimp on Toilet Paper, So Bring Your Own

  Bring your own toilet paper. Why? While cruise lines make it their job to pamper you in every way, their toilet paper is generally more like sandpaper.

   
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  (#28) Don't Belly Up To The Bar

  Most cruise ships have stopped putting out snack foods (like pretzels at the bar, etc), but if they do have them out, be careful. You don't know where other hands have been, do you?
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  (#29) Crew Members Often Work Seven Days A Week

  Crew members generally work every day — sometimes a full day, other times just a couple hours, depending on the job at hand.

   

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