Random Red Flags To Watch Out For Hiring A Nanny Or Babysitter (12 items)

• (#1) They're Over-Eager To Start

  Everybody likes an enthusiastic caretaker, but this former Redditor found a prospective nanny who seemed to want the job a little too much. This, among other alarm bells, sent her to the Reddit hivemind in search of feedback. "She kind of sounded like she was pressuring us to let her start sooner ('oh you guys must be so tired, why don't you bring him over and catch up on sleep!')," she writes. "My husband thought she was just being super nice and generous but I found it odd."

  Redditor /u/Stephananny responds: "[I]f your gut is saying no then don't do it. There is nothing wrong with saying, 'we have decided to go in a different direction.' It sounds like this woman is really eager and probably has been turned down for a lot of jobs."
• (#2) They're Pushy About Boundaries

  The former Redditor was thrown when the same candidate said that she "couldn't wait to start buying more baby stuff!" This seemed to the new mother like crossing some kind of a line. "I don't feel comfortable knowing she's buying stuff for her house for my kid? Like once she does, am I obligated to her?"

  Redditor /u/statersgonnastate concurs, noting that "hear[ing] that she wanted to start early and buy baby things without any job offers from you makes me feel yucky. I would wonder what else she might be pushy or boundary stomping on."
• (#3) Their Requested Rate Is Abnormally Low

  Strike three? The same candidate "said her rates were $10-$12 per hour," according to the former Redditor.  "Nannies around here EASILY get $20 per hour. She said she knew that but thought it seemed like a lot. We actually told her that seemed low and offered $15, but why was she so willing to accept so much less?"
• (#4) They  Seem Confused About Children's Basic Needs

  From Redditor /u/gillandred:

  "Recently she started mixing up my bottles of breastmilk with bottles of formula. I have the bottles lined up by date and she put them in a different order and put bottles of formula right next to them. Her former clients were high-powered lawyers who did not breast-feed and I wonder if she feels uncomfortable giving the baby my milk?

  I let the nanny know that I like the baby to be taken outdoors at least once a day. I offered her the option of using the stroller to take a walk around the block or if she can sit on the gazebo in the backyard. I thought she would appreciate not feeling trapped in the house, but she seems very intimidated by the idea of taking the baby out in a stroller."

  In response, Redditor /u/kynanny says:

  "The not wanting to take baby out does seem odd, I love taking mine out and normally its the parents asking me to keep them in. When interviewing what did she say about activities? Does she expect to be on the couch all day? A 20min walk wont hurt anyone or a couple visits to the gazebo."

  But Redditor /u/dshort44 suggests:

  "Maybe the nanny is out of shape and doesn't like to walk, in that case you can't make her. Tell her to sit outside and if she doesn't want to tell her you will find someone who does."
• (#5) They're Cagey About Their Caretaking Methods

  Redditor /u/gillandred is also put off by the nanny's refusal to answer a direct question clearly, or to document her process: "At the end of the day when I ask the nanny how much formula she's given the baby she always appears very flustered - she starts babbling and incoherently rattling off numbers. I asked her to keep a written journal of how much she's fed the baby but she seems annoyed by this."

  Redditor /u/kynanny replies: "everyone needs to be on the same page about when and what baby is eating... especially if baby is having weight issues. I always keep logs for parents, diapers, naps, feeding, foods, and special activities. Its pretty standard."
• (#6) They Ask For An Advance, Only To Spend It On Your Child

  From Redditor /u/gillandred:

  "Recently she bought a present for my daughter -- I thought that was very odd considering she had told me the other day that she was a little short on gas money and had asked for an advance on her salary. Honestly it feels like any gift giving should be going in the opposite direction -- it seemed like a red flag to me that she'd want to spend her own money on my child."

  But Redditor /u/Korsola feels this is an overreaction:

  "I honestly wouldn't worry about the gift. Her finances are her business. I've bought my charges gifts before because I saw activities I thought they'd enjoy or a cute outfit I couldn't resist."
• (#7) They Insist On Taking Your Child To Unfamiliar Locations

  From Redditor /u/DontF*ckWithMyMoney:

  "[M]y kids told me they'd actually stopped at her friend's house first, where they stayed in the car while she ran in to pick up her baby who was being watched by her friend. She [the babysitter] never mentioned that first stop, and this being the very first day, it rubbed us the wrong way.

  Then on Wednesday, the night before Day 2, she sent my wife a text at 8:30 PM saying she'd had foot surgery earlier that day (???) and since it was going to be tough for her to move around, she was going to take the kids to her house (where we've never been) and her friend (whom we haven't met) was going to help her out.

  We balked immediately -- both because of the short notice and the fact that she was right off the bat bringing them somewhere we hadn't agreed to and enlisting help with people we didn't know."

  Redditor /u/whatisthisadulting responds:

  "Full time nanny here. Way too many red flags. One of which is telling you what her plan is with out asking? On day two? To a place and with someone you've never authorized? I would NEVER imagine doing that." 
• (#8) They're Flaky

  Redditor /u/Thr33wolfmoon offers the following crie de coeur: 

  "This is the second babysitter I’ve had that has canceled on me in under a month. I work a very flexible job with travel, and can schedule my travel to coincide with babysitters’ schedules.

  A few weeks ago, I booked travel. Night before, one babysitter canceled so I was scrambling to cancel all the travel plans and move appointments. Then, I don’t hear back from her. So I got a new babysitter, someone that I know through another person and thought was reliable. Booked travel for today.

  She cancels at 2:30am. For today. So I’m scrambling, now I’ve got an additional four hours of driving on top of 6 hours of customer visits and now childcare and another 5 hours of follow up work, hopefully I can get a quick nap tonight before doing it all tomorrow again.

  Dude. I can’t. This is ridiculous. I pay $15 an hour as a rate, round up for hours, and usually throw in a bonus as a thank-you. $40 cash for 1.5 hours today, my kids are only awake for 1/2 hour to an hour of that.

  I spent HOURS yesterday typing up instructions, labeling lunches and clothes, cleaning the house because I’m working 80+ hours a week and don’t get a chance to clean unless I choose to do that vs sleep. I’m p*ssed. I spent so much time trying to make things as easy as possible for the babysitter to get the kids off to school."

  Redditor /u/AphroditeHarbinger responds with the following advice:

  "Choose older nannies. The younger ones tend to be flaky. I say this as a nanny of 15yrs. Also. Find someone on a site like Sittercity. Vet them thoroughly and make sure you don't hire anyone that doesn't have both a resume AND a contract ready to be signed. That's one way to know for certain that they take their work seriously."
• (#9) They Don't Take Allergies Seriously

  From Redditor /u/thesassyllamas:

  "I had just begun looking for a part time sitter for my 3 year old, who has a dozen food allergies. One woman came highly recommended, and after meeting with her multiple times and having my son interact with her, we decided to hire her. She swore up and down she could handle all his food allergies, and I provided ALL of his food, requesting that the few hours she has him, to not cook or eat his 3 anaphylactic allergies. WELL. I got a call at work from her one day saying my son Neville had hives everywhere, so I went to pick him up. His dad and I got there and the babysitter was LAUGHING saying, 'I was cooking eggs this morning and some spilled on the floor. Neville tried to pick them up and almost ate them!' He is DEATHLY allergic to eggs, and this woman was laughing about him almost eating his own death sentence. From the secondary reaction alone, he had facial swelling and hives. Needless to say, we never contacted her again."
• (#10) They Try To Combine Babysitting And Hanging Out With Friends

  Redditor 'u/typing_away recounts:

  "I am the kid in this story. I had a babysitter, let's call her Angel.

  Angel was trustworthy. Eventually she decided she could babysit me and see her friend at the same time. So I was a 5-year-old going out with a bunch of teens. At first it was okay. We went to the movies, to the beach, etc.

  After a couple of times I began to see Angel was ignoring me. I was bored, wanted to go home. We were at the beach. That day I cried. I was sad.

  Angel told me to stop crying. I clearly remember her leaving me alone and telling her friends she was done. There was one guy in the group who was totally opposed [to] the idea of leaving me alone. So all her friends leave with Angel. Leaving me behind with this guy. We spent the rest of the day trying to go home.

  Imagine, a 5-year-old left behind at the beach. If that guy [hadn't] stayed I would have been lost forever. I didn't speak English and he knew only the basics.

  Eventually we arrived late in the evening. Mom was only beginning to be worried. Angel didn't [tell] anybody she left me behind!!!

  Finally, Mom was so mad. It was glorious to see her fire Angel."
• (#11) Stuff Mysteriously Starts To Go Missing

  From Redditor /u/RoxxyB:

  "I hired a young woman to watch my infant son. Slowly I started to wonder if things were missing. Maybe a pair of my jeans? Maybe not. Some spare change and loose bills maybe? I wasn't 100% sure. Then a few days after my son's christening, I noticed that all of the cash in the gift envelopes was missing, along with all of the bills and quarters from my older daughter's piggy bank. I was so disgusted that she would do this. We fired her. We weren't sure how much she took, but we estimated about $500 and she ended up paying it back, right after she was fired."
• (#12) They're More Trouble Than The Kids They're Supposed To Watch

  A former Redditor reports:

  "Another girl's mom had her text me for.every.little.thing. I couldn't even enjoy the time away because I was too busy being mom to now 2 kids! And her mom texted me too. Asking me when I was coming back and if I was coming back early because she was waiting outside. I felt like I was just waiting for the time to be up to get them away."

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