Random People Who Were Raised In The Jehovah's Witnesses Community Share Stories About Their Lives (14 items)

• (#1) Leaving The Religion Can Be Isolating

  From Redditor /u/poshjosh1999:

  The very few friends I did have my age have mostly left me because I left the JWs. I don't have any friends outside of the religion; I do, however, have much older friends. I was lucky that my parents allowed me to have a good hobby, which most JW parents won't allow at all because of "bad association."

  I don't have any friends my own age apart from one, who I hardly ever see. I know I'm lonely, but I'm in a very difficult situation since I've left the religion.
• (#2) There's Pressure To Shun Family Members Who Aren't Jehovah's Witnesses

  From Redditor /u/starry_knights:

  When I was a kid my mom pressured me to shun my... sisters when I talked about missing them in my life. There's a huge age gap between me and my siblings, so I was 4 when everybody else had moved out of our parents' home.

  She held up my cousins as an example, like, "Why can't you be more like cousin Mary? She's not speaking to Karen, because Karen doesn't love Jehovah anymore..."
• (#3) You Have To Go To Multiple Meetings Per Week

  From a former Redditor:

  You're kept pretty busy. Church meetings often have question-and-answer sections where they cover some piece of Watchtower literature, so JWs generally devote a few hours a week to studying for the meetings.

  Up until a few years ago there were three meetings a week but now it's just two; however, you are expected to have a family study night to make up for the third one. This all came about after I left so I can't speak as to whether or not it's strictly enforced.

  There's also a weekly Bible reading where you're supposed to read the assigned portion of the Bible for that week, which is then discussed at one of the weekly meetings.

  Three times a year there are larger gatherings. Congregations are organized into "Circuits," and Circuits are organized into larger "Districts." There are two large Circuit meetings (called "Assemblies") and one even larger meeting for the District (called the "District Convention") each year. When I was going, Assemblies had about 1,000 people and conventions had 35,000 to 40,000. The size of the convention depends on what venues are available, so sometimes you'll see a huge 40,000-person convention cover the whole district at once and sometimes you'll see a series of 5,000-person conventions cover the district in phases.

  Additionally, you're expected to go out knocking on doors (field service) at least nine to 10 hours a month here in the US. It's not a hard-and-fast rule but that's the national average, and in a lot of cases you won't be considered a member in good standing unless you do at least that.
• (#4) Dating After You Leave The Church Can Prove Difficult

  From Redditor /u/eyeAmWaves:

  I've found that I carry around a lot more baggage than I thought I would when I left.

  I found it hard to jump into the dating scene in my early 20s when I felt like I lacked the proper socialization with members of the opposite sex during my formative years, which has led me to have a complicated relationship with my own sexuality.
• (#5) Getting A College Degree Is Frowned Upon

  From Redditor /u/poshjosh1999:

  You're told not to have a career. Become a window cleaner or, in America, a janitor.

  According to the Governing Body, university is dangerous, so any real career isn't an option for most JWs.
• (#6) Not Celebrating Birthdays Has Social Ramifications

  From Redditor /u/JWAlumni:

  I felt like an outcast at school. I was lucky to have classmates that didn't bully me at school for being a JW, so there was mainly pity. But of course you felt stupid when you were the only one not congratulating someone on their birthday. You stood with the rest of the class silent while they sang the song. And when I had birthdays I politely thanked them for their well-wishing, but I wasn't really allowed to accept it. It also meant that I was neither allowed to attend a birthday party nor host one myself.

  Especially Christmas was tough because I knew I would be returning to school and everybody would be talking about the presents they got. Although I had loving parents I always felt like a d*ck on Christmas Eve knowing what was going on in other families. I loved Christmas as a kid because of all the lights and the glitter and stuff. Now, I love celebrating Christmas with my girlfriend. We always get a tree and make a big deal of Christmas.
• (#7) The Church Makes Big Promises

  From a former Redditor:

  I think a lot has to do with the hope for something better and frustration with your lot in life, [and it's] less to do with superiority.

  Everyone I knew just wanted a life without expensive rent, medical bills, sh*tty bosses, crooked politicians, etc., and the Org offers that. When someone tells you that literally everything awful in the world can get better, you listen.

  Can't blame people for really wanting it to be true, especially when you can't imagine any solution other than total apocalypse.
• (#8) Dating People Outside The Church Is Strongly Discouraged

  From Redditor /u/JWAlumni:

  I had a "worldly girlfriend" in secret. We dated for about a year. My mother, who is quite fanatic, found out, but chose not to say anything. She asked me whether we slept together, which I truthfully could deny, but she didn't say more, I guess out of fear of alienating me and losing me altogether. She probably hoped it would phase out, and phase out it did when my girlfriend thought [it] would be nice if we could [get intimate], and I agreed, but didn't have enough courage to do so.

  We talked about marrying, but she said she would never become a Witness, and I knew it wouldn't work then (funny in retrospect because two years later I was out anyway).
• (#9) One Small Misstep Can Ruin A Follower's Reputation

  From Redditor /u/ tjreid1987:

  I was kicked out of "Bethel" (their name for the HQ, translating to House of God). I had grown up my whole life as a Witness, following every rule, advancing quickly up the ranks. I was caught watching [adult videos] as a young 20-something-year-old, kicked out, stripped of all responsibilities and assignments, and lost all desire to continue.

  Shortly afterward, I stopped going to meetings and finally [started] examining my beliefs for myself instead of doing what was always expected.
• (#10) Leaving The Church May Cause Guilt

  From Redditor /u/nillumcaasi:

  I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness... Very sheltered life, and I wasn’t able to do anything outside the religion.

  I recently tried leaving, but I still have lingering feelings of guilt going to the meetings and trying to find relationships outside of the congregation.
• (#11) Not Every Family Shuns Their Children

  From Redditor /u/Nathangonzalez11:

  I honestly am okay with my parents. They're sad I left, but we still talk like a family, and they still support me and love me. But what I feel was the most damaging was the social life of the religion. [I received] judgment when I went to college... [and] when I said I didn't want to be a pioneer for them. I had problems with their theology.

  I never went through things like [mistreatment as a child]. I do feel like I was tricked and brainwashed by reading only JW literature. I survived because honestly for most of my life I did believe in it. It was after I got baptized when I read that our Bible was inaccurate and that the church was involved in cover-ups. That was my main reason for leaving. But still glad I'm okay with my family.
• (#12) They Adjust Their Predictions When Things Don't Happen As Expected

  From Redditor /u/tjreid1987

  They recognize [their previous predictions that never happened]. They usually explain it with Proverbs 4:18 saying the "light gets brighter and brighter." They admit they are [fallible], and their understanding of the Scriptures isn't perfect. So when a prediction doesn't come true, they of course chalk it up to not fully understanding, and they readjust. They've avoided specific dates since 1975 - it's bad marketing.

  Now, they've stretched their interpretation to last a while longer until that one doesn't make sense anymore.
• (#13) Mistreatment Of Children Is Left 'In Jehovah's Hands'

  From Redditor /u/Jasperita10:

  If a child is mistreated by another member of the congregation, typical procedure is to leave it in Jehovah's hands and not to contact the authorities. This happened to me, too.

  And when I left my family and moved out, I should have but did not contact people that could help me with my [mistreatment], because [I was] told to leave it in Jehovah's hands [and] scared of the consequences of ever bringing anything to trial or to authorities.
• (#14) Discouraging Higher Education Sometimes Traps Members In Poverty

  From Redditor /u/HazyOutline:

  Many who have followed directives against education and spending one's life centered on [Jehovah's Witness] organizational activities later have found themselves in dire circumstances when they got older. They were sold on the idea they would never grow old, that Paradise would be here by then. Some spent decades at Bethel with a vow of poverty, only to be laid off.

  Some spent years as missionaries or special pioneers with a small stipend, only for the same thing to happen. It was the ultimate dead end.

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