Random Old Jokes That Are Actually Still Funny (18 items)

(#1) What Hangs At A Man's Thigh And Wants To Poke The Hole It's Often Poked Before?

A key.
- From the 10th century
(#2) What Is The Difference Between Stabbing A Man And Killing A Hog?

One is assaulting with intent to kill; the other is killing with intent to salt.
- A Victorian-era chuckler
(#3) What Do You Call The Largest Mammal On Earth That Lives In A Palace?

The Prince of Wales, of course!
- From the 18th century
(#4) A Man Goes To The Barber And The Barber Asks, 'How Would You Like Your Hair Cut?'

The man says, "In silence."
- From the 19th century
(#5) Who Is The Greatest Chicken-Killer In Shakespeare?

Macbeth, because he did murder most fowl.

- From the Victorian era
(#6) When Is A Door Not A Door?

When it is a jar.
- A possible origin-less joke from a time when there was nothing but doors
(#7) What Are The Three Parts Of A Wood-Burning Stove?

Lifter, legs, and poker.
- From the 19th century
(#8) What's The Similarity Between A Balloon Floating In Midair And A Vagrant?

They both have no visible means of support.
- From the Victorian era
(#9) Why Are Young Ladies Like Arrows?

Because they are all aquiver in the presence of a beau.
- From Prairie Farmer, volume 58, 1886
(#10) What Is The Difference Between A Tube And A Foolish Dutchman?

One is a hollow cylinder, and the other a silly Hollander.

- People really hated the Dutch in the 19th century
(#11) A Man Said To A Preacher, 'That Was An Excellent Sermon, But It Was Not Original'

The preacher was taken aback. The man said he had a book at home containing every word the preacher used. The next day, the man brought the preacher a dictionary.

- A joke that appeared in an 1872 issue of the Daily Phoenix
(#12) While Passing A House On The Road, Two Salesmen Spotted A 'Very Peculiar Chimney'

They asked a flaxen-haired urchin standing near the house if it "drawed well," whereupon the aforementioned urchin gave them the stinging retort: "Yes, it draws all the attention of all the damned fools that pass this road."

- A joke from 1870, when people were interested in chimneys
(#13) Lil Audrey Was Sitting On The Porch With Her Brother...

She said, "Look, there's a quarter in the street!"
Her brother jumped up and ran into the street to get the money and was promptly squashed by a truck. And Lil Audrey just laughed and laughed, because she knew it was only a nickel.
- From Dust Bowl-era America
(#14) Why Is A Dog Like A Tree?

Because they both lose their bark once they're dead.
- A super depressing Victorian-era joke
(#15) She Was Only A Stableman's Daughter...

...but all the horse manure.

- From the late 19th century
(#16) 'I Like To Go Camping'

Said Tom, intently.
- From the early 20th century
(#17) A Fellow Tells His Ma That There Are Two Holes In His Trousers

And then tells her that's where he puts his feet through.
- From the Cincinnati Enquirer, Nov. 1, 1896
(#18) What's The Difference Between Photography And The Whooping Cough?

One makes fac-similes; the other makes sick families.
- From a Liverpool, UK, newspaper from 1875