Random Funniest And Corniest Dad Jokes (33 items)

• (#1) Man, when you have a bladder infection. . .

  Urine trouble.
• (#2) How do you organize a space party?

  You planet! 
• (#3) What did the buffalo say when his son left?

  Bison!
• (#4) Today, a girl said she recognized me from Vegetarian Club. . .

  But I never met herbivore. 
• (#5) Velcro?

  What a rip-off!
• (#6) Why did the scarecrow win an award?

  Because he was outstanding in his field!
• (#7) This documentary about beavers. . .

  . . . is the best dam thing I've ever watched!
• (#8) Our wedding was so beautiful. . .

  Even the cake was in tiers. 
• (#9) I'm afraid for the calendar. . .

  Its days are numbered.
• (#10) You hear about the new broom?

  It's sweeping the nation!
• (#11) I gave all my dead batteries away. . .

  They were free of charge!
• (#12) Why do you smear peanut butter on the road?

  To go with the traffic jam!
• (#13) I was thinking about moving to Moscow...

  But there's no point in Russian into things. 
• (#14) Why did the octopus beat a shark in a fight?

  Well, he was well armed!
• (#15) Why move to Switzerland?

  Well, the flag is a big plus!
• (#16) What do you call a cow with no legs?

  . . . Ground beef.
• (#17) A sandwich walks into a bar. . .

  Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve food here." 
• (#18) Hear about the new restaurant on the Moon?

  The food was great, but there was just no atmosphere. 
• (#19) The Energizer Bunny just got arrested. . .

  . . . They charged him with battery.
• (#20) Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

  It didn't have any guts!
• (#21) I am terrified of elevators!

  I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them!
• (#22) My doctor said I had type A blood. . .

  But it was a type O.
• (#23) What cheese can never be yours?

  . . . Nacho cheese!

   

   
• (#24) Why did the pony need a glass of water?

  . . . He was a little horse!

   
• (#25) Why does the chicken coop have only two doors?

  Because if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan!
• (#26) "Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?"

  "No, I got them all cut." 
• (#27) Two guys walk into a bar. . .

  The third guy ducks. 
• (#28) What did the 0 say to the 8?

  Nice belt!
• (#29) People are making too many apocalypse jokes!

  It's like they think there's no tomorrow!
• (#30) It looks like my cat's sick.

  . . . He doesn't seem to be feline well.
• (#31) What do you call a fly without wings?

  A walk!
• (#32) What did the mountain climber name his son?

  Cliff!
• (#33) "Dad, I'm hungry!"

  "Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad!"

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