Random Bizarre, Hilarious Explanations Flat-Earthers Subscribe To (12 items)

(#11) Satellites Don't Exist

Photoshop strikes again! Sorry, globe-heads, there's no such thing as satellites, apparently, despite the fact there are actually about 3,600 out there. Instead, all images of satellites - even ones taken in space - are actually CGI composites.
As for explaining radio, TV, and GPS signals, there is (unsurprisingly) no concrete answer from the flat-Earth club.
(#7) The Earth Is a Plane, Not a Planet

Not only are the Sun and Moon incredibly small according to flat-Earthers, with each being about 32 miles around, but they're actually only about 3,000 miles above us, too. And the stars? They're not too far out, either, clocking in at around 3,100 miles up.
So how does this all add up? Simple: the Earth is the center of the entire universe, and everything is moving around us. Just ask noted flat-Earth expert Eric Dubay, author of The Flat Earth Conspiracy, who claims that time-lapse photography proves it all:

“Star trail time-lapse photography is absolute proof that Earth is the stationary center of the universe around which everything in the sky revolves. If the Earth’s supposed motion was what caused the star trail effect, Earth would have to be performing daily 360 loop-de-loops, inverting upside down, coming back around, and NOT rotating on an axis, otherwise the same stars would not remain visible in the sky for well over 12 hours (as they do), and would all move across the sky horizontally! The fact that we can see the same stars all night long revolving perfect circles around Polaris proves it is the stars moving relative to a fixed [Earth].”
(#9) If the Earth Were Round, Airplanes Would Fly Into Space

Flat-Earthers believe that, if the Earth were round, pilots would have to continually nose their airplanes down, or else they would fly straight into outer space, rather than around the curve of the Earth.

The fact that airplanes do not have to continually move downwards, they argue, shows that the Earth is flat.
(#6) There Is a 150-Foot Wall of Ice at the 'Edge'

By now you may be wondering exactly what the structure of the Earth looks like, aside from simply being a flat disc, hurtling through space like a cosmic frisbee. Luckily, flat-Earth folks have the answers: the Earth is actually contained within Antarctica, and Antarctica itself is an entire wall of ice at the very edge of the world.
Sound confusing? Well, that's not the end of it. In fact, to prevent anyone from climbing over the "edge" of the Earth, NASA employs guards at the wall to maintain the conspiracy.
Sort of like the Night's Watch if Jon Snow was completely delusional.
(#12) The Zetetic Method - Anything Is Possible if You Just Believe

So how anyone could believe the Earth is flat? As Samuel Birley Rowbotham explains in Zetetic Astronomy: Earth Not a Globe, the answer is actually pretty simple: to flat-Earthers, our planet looks and feels flat. The teachings of the Zetetic Method are remarkably easy: trust your instincts.

If one can't see the curve of the Earth, then there is no curve. And if one can feel themselves walking in a straight line, then the Earth must be flat. No scientific investigation needed.
(#2) The Earth Is a Disc

So, let's get the obvious out of the way: Flat-Earthers simply do not believe the Earth is a spherical object. Their explanation? Instead of a "globe," the Earth is a flat, disc-like shape.
This archaic belief harkens back thousands of years to an era before scientific advancements made it possible to prove the Earth was actually a spherical object.