Random Dumbest Technology In Science Fiction (14 items)

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  (#7) Pacific Rim

  • Film

  Intended Use: Designed to fight the Kaiju that emerge from another dimension, Jaegers require two co-pilots to connect their neural pathways. Together, the pilots must work together to coordinate the movements of these massive machines. 

  Actual Use: Three-legged races are annoying for a reason: moving perfectly in sync with someone is a challenge. Now imagine the stakes are not just losing to your co-workers, but letting a giant sea monster destroy an entire city. Even the most well-trained and calm co-pilots might have a split instance where they think differently, which would leave the Jaeger vulnerable to a mighty blow from a Kaiju. 

  Better Technology: According to Robin Murphy, a professor of computer science and engineering at Texas A&M University, humans have been making robots more advanced than Jaegers for quite some time. Most are smaller (think Tony Stark's Iron Man suit) and designed to help instead of be used in conflict. For example, Japan is using nurse robots to care for its aging population, and the Massachusetts police department is already making use of a four-legged robot named Spot. 
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  (#5) Quantum Leap

  • TV Program

  Intended Use: The Handlink allows the user to open and close the Imaging Chamber. Here, the Observer can watch the Leaper and their surroundings - and vice versa. 

  Actual Use: The remote, which inexplicably looks like it's made of Legos, always needs a good thwack before it works. Shouldn't such sophisticated technology be more reliable than a Nintendo cartridge? 

  Better Technology: We might not be able to see other people's surroundings at different points in time like in Quantum Leap, but we do have discreet camera and tracking systems. Any operative trying to tape undetected can even buy spy-grade camera equipment off Amazon.
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  (#12) Predator

  • Film

  Intended Use: The Self-Destruct Device is nestled in the Wrist Gauntlet worn by the Yautja, AKA the Predators, and used as a last resort. Instead of facing defeat, the Yautja can use this to eradicate the evidence of their presence and end their life with honor.

  Actual Use: The destruction created by the Wrist Gauntlet does not seem to follow any laws of physics. How can a nuclear explosion stay so contained? The gauntlet has a slew of gadgets and add-ons, like blades, which all require different button combinations. What happens if the wrong one is pressed and the self-destruct option is selected? 

  Better Technology: While we don't have nuclear wristwatches, there are blades designed just like that of the Predators. 
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  (#6) Johnny Mnemonic

  • Film

  Intended Use: It's the year 2021, and Johnny Mnemonic (Keanu Reeves) is a freelance data courier who holds sensitive information in his brain's cyberkinetic implant. 

  Actual Use: In order to store data in his brain, Johnny has to dump all his childhood memories to clear out enough space. So how much data can he store? A whopping 80 gigabytes, or about as much memory as a modern-day smartphone. Now Johnny does end up pushing that to 320 GB - which is about as much RAM as can be found in an upgraded Playstation 3. However, the movie claims this much data can destroy a courier's mind.

  Better Technology: Elon Musk has been developing his Neuralink for quite some time now. Initial plans are to have paralyzed people use the Neuralink to control computers and tablets. And if we discover a way to hack our brains, we may have the capacity to store roughly a petabyte of data. That would be enough data to store the internet in its entirety.
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  (#10) Avatar

  • Film

  Intended Use: These clear computer displays are used by the military as they attempt to mine the valuable unobtanium from the alien planet Pandora. The idea is that you can see vast amounts of data from different angles.

  Actual Use: Even though Avatar art director Neil Huxley said he gained inspiration from real military interfaces, he wasn't basing it off any actual 3D system already in existence. If this were to go to market, folks would have a fit when they wouldn't be able to make out anything on the screen - which would be often. 

  Better Technology: Projected interface is speculated to make a big impact in our kitchens. Brands like Ikea and Whirlpool have created mockups of interactive cooktops and kitchens that project instructions and placement for you. Also, we already have efficient touchscreens that we can see perfectly well backlit - no need to go clear.
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  (#14) The Holodeck From 'Star Trek'

  Intended Use: The Holodeck's first appearance in the Star Trek franchise occurs in the 1974 episode of the animated series, "The Practical Joker." This is a virtual reality device that lets the crew relax in an artificial environment, exercise, or just test out certain scenarios. All Captain Kirk and co. have to do is input a few parameters and voila! You can interact in what feels like a physically real reality. 

  Actual Use: The Holodeck - when it's not breaking down in comical or lethal fashion - seems to have a design feature that allows it to become completely sentient (see: Professor Moriarty in "Elementary, Dear Data" and "Ship in a Bottle"). It also allows users with the correct code to simply "turn off" the safety protocols that keep users protected from potentially life-ending situations inside the simulator (see: Star Trek: First Contact). 

  Better Technology: Nowadays we have virtual reality (VR) everything, from VR horror video games to psychological tools to combat PTSD with exposure therapy. Fortunately, no one is in constant danger of getting killed by the holograms or getting stuck in these simulated realities, as is frequently the case with the Holodeck.

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