Random Stories And Insider Facts About BDSM Dungeons And Sex Parties (13 items)

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  (#5) The Shower Is Probably For Extreme Play Only

  Whether it's your 100th time hanging out at a secret warehouse party or your first trip into the world of BDSM, there are a few constants. First, many people wear giant boots. That's just a thing you've got to get over. Also, the large showers with a single drain in the center aren't usually for getting clean, but extreme play. 

  So what is extreme play? One type involves a common red bodily fluid. According to Kinkly:

  Individuals who participate in blood play often find the sight, taste, texture, and smell of blood erotic and sensual. Some may also find the pain of extracting blood sexually stimulating.

  The website has many caveats about this form of play, however:

  [P]articipants should always remember that it can be very dangerous... A deep cut into a major blood vessel, for instance, can be very serious or even deadly. Less serious consequences include pain, infection and scarring.
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  (#7) You'll Get Kicked Out Real Quick If You Act Like a Creep

  It's important for noobs to remember that all you have to do to get kicked out of your local scene is act like a creep.

  As the folks at the Hidden Castle put it:

  Event organizers are anxious to protect the reputation of their event. Behavior complaints happen easily and often. When they do happen there is no constitutional right to confront one's accuser. Most of the time the complainer's side of the story is the only one that is heard. Most of the time the person complained about will not become aware of the complaints at least until he or she finds him or herself no longer welcome. 

  So, just be cool. These clubs aren't free-for-alls; they're places where consenting adults get together for safe, intimate experimentation. 
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  (#8) Some People Just Hang Out, And That's Totally Fine

  When most people imagine a public bondage club, they probably think of a mixture of the rave from The Matrix Reloaded and Caligula. While there may be some truth to that, there are also spots where people - especially first timers - just go to chill.

  Miss Maggie Mayhem says: 

  Remember that walking through the door is not an obligation to engage in any activity. It is not uncommon for first-timers to spend their first visit just watching and getting a feel for things. Remember: You don’t have to jump into the deep end feet first. You can always check things out one night and come back again at a later date.

  So, maybe you're not exactly adventurous in this department. That's fine. Just because you go to a bondage club with your significant other and are nervous throughout, doesn't mean there isn't something for you. The appeal of this scene for those who engage is the fact that there's usually someone in the crowd interested in some of the same things, so there is safety in even the smallest numbers.
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  (#1) Vanilla Fun: Light Latex And Leash Play For Beginners

  When writer Gareth May visited this very interesting club (as one does), he had a firsthand look at the apex of what some call vanilla play. There were people leading one another around on leashes, dancing, and wearing lots of latex. 

  While May didn't see any action in the open, that doesn't mean people weren't having a good time:

  As you stood on the sidelines you could make out the little clusters of bodies in the corners, [pulling] at one another, reaching under latex skirts, kneading... shoulders, whispering their fantasies into the ears of their loved ones as others’ played out in front of their eyes.

  When it was time to go home, revelers fell into more socially acceptable patterns, dissociating themselves from the event and lifestyle. As May described it:

  By now it’s 4 am and the club is emptying. People are leaving the cloakroom, buttoned up in trench coats, their revealing costumes covered up like a superhero’s garb, a secret life hidden from reach.
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  (#6) Working In One Of These Clubs Is Just Like Working Anywhere Else

  Except you get to physically engage your clients. 

  While visiting the Sanctuary in Los Angeles, a writer for LA Weekly noted: 

  Every few minutes, girls dressed in skimpy costumes click by on stripper heels. One carries a bag of McDonalds; another totes a laptop that she'll later use to check her Facebook page in between clients. So remember, when you do decide to check out your local [club], the folks working there are just trying to get through their shift. 
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  (#4) Anything Goes At Some Parties, Including Action By The Refreshments

  If you're going to check out your local scene, realize you will encounter things outside the norm. If you're interested in traveling down this rabbit hole, you're going to see "animal players, age players, people in diapers, people doing various forms of intentionally goofy-looking humiliation play..."

  If you're not into that stuff, fine. But you have to respect the rights of another player who is into it. Also be aware of the level of bondage you're getting into. Sure, there are vanilla clubs and parties, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. According to a write-up on more hard-line parties, you can find bowls of loose M&Ms in close proximity to where people are getting it on. 

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