Random Dumbest Technology In Science Fiction (14 items)

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  (#1) Men in Black

  • Film

  Intended Use: "This is a fascinating little gadget," Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) tells newly minted Agent J (Will Smith) during a tour of the Men in Black facilities. "These are going to replace CDs soon. I guess I'll have to buy the White Album again."

  Actual Use: Yes, MiniDiscs were a thing in real life, but they went out of vogue as quickly as they came. If tiny discs had been the true successor to CDs, they would be even more fragile than their larger counterparts, and not to mention easy to lose.

  Better Technology: We can stream music nearly anywhere and everywhere. Even when not connected, some devices, like the 128 GB iPhone, can hold roughly 32,000 songs. 
• 

  (#12) Predator

  • Film

  Intended Use: The Self-Destruct Device is nestled in the Wrist Gauntlet worn by the Yautja, AKA the Predators, and used as a last resort. Instead of facing defeat, the Yautja can use this to eradicate the evidence of their presence and end their life with honor.

  Actual Use: The destruction created by the Wrist Gauntlet does not seem to follow any laws of physics. How can a nuclear explosion stay so contained? The gauntlet has a slew of gadgets and add-ons, like blades, which all require different button combinations. What happens if the wrong one is pressed and the self-destruct option is selected? 

  Better Technology: While we don't have nuclear wristwatches, there are blades designed just like that of the Predators. 
• 

  (#7) Pacific Rim

  • Film

  Intended Use: Designed to fight the Kaiju that emerge from another dimension, Jaegers require two co-pilots to connect their neural pathways. Together, the pilots must work together to coordinate the movements of these massive machines. 

  Actual Use: Three-legged races are annoying for a reason: moving perfectly in sync with someone is a challenge. Now imagine the stakes are not just losing to your co-workers, but letting a giant sea monster destroy an entire city. Even the most well-trained and calm co-pilots might have a split instance where they think differently, which would leave the Jaeger vulnerable to a mighty blow from a Kaiju. 

  Better Technology: According to Robin Murphy, a professor of computer science and engineering at Texas A&M University, humans have been making robots more advanced than Jaegers for quite some time. Most are smaller (think Tony Stark's Iron Man suit) and designed to help instead of be used in conflict. For example, Japan is using nurse robots to care for its aging population, and the Massachusetts police department is already making use of a four-legged robot named Spot. 
• 

  (#5) Quantum Leap

  • TV Program

  Intended Use: The Handlink allows the user to open and close the Imaging Chamber. Here, the Observer can watch the Leaper and their surroundings - and vice versa. 

  Actual Use: The remote, which inexplicably looks like it's made of Legos, always needs a good thwack before it works. Shouldn't such sophisticated technology be more reliable than a Nintendo cartridge? 

  Better Technology: We might not be able to see other people's surroundings at different points in time like in Quantum Leap, but we do have discreet camera and tracking systems. Any operative trying to tape undetected can even buy spy-grade camera equipment off Amazon.
• 

  (#13) I, Robot

  • Film

  Intended Use: After prominent robotics scientist Dr. Alfred Lanning mysteriously falls out of his window and perishes, Del Spooner (Will Smith), a Chicago police detective, investigates. He runs into a hologram of Lanning, who is unable to provide him with any information unless he "asks the right question."

  Actual Use: This piece of technology is already infuriating in its film use. Instead of simply telling Spooner what to do or where to go, the hologram makes him continuously guess what the heck is going on. 

  Better Technology: The hologram industry is taking off, and anyone can now see the likes of Buddy Holly or Tupac live and in the holo-flesh. And these holograms don't present infuriating riddles like Dr. Lanning - just ethical ones.
• 

  (#6) Johnny Mnemonic

  • Film

  Intended Use: It's the year 2021, and Johnny Mnemonic (Keanu Reeves) is a freelance data courier who holds sensitive information in his brain's cyberkinetic implant. 

  Actual Use: In order to store data in his brain, Johnny has to dump all his childhood memories to clear out enough space. So how much data can he store? A whopping 80 gigabytes, or about as much memory as a modern-day smartphone. Now Johnny does end up pushing that to 320 GB - which is about as much RAM as can be found in an upgraded Playstation 3. However, the movie claims this much data can destroy a courier's mind.

  Better Technology: Elon Musk has been developing his Neuralink for quite some time now. Initial plans are to have paralyzed people use the Neuralink to control computers and tablets. And if we discover a way to hack our brains, we may have the capacity to store roughly a petabyte of data. That would be enough data to store the internet in its entirety.

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