Random Stories And Insider Facts About BDSM Dungeons And Sex Parties (13 items)

(#13) People Trust Each Other

The bondage scene is basically one big trust fall. If you're going to your first event and it's in the middle of nowhere or a secluded office building that looks like a location from 28 Days Later, you have to trust that your dom isn't going to put you in a steamer trunk. Unless that's what you're into.

Looking for a dom in this world is kind of like dating: You have to find someone you're comfortable with, especially if they're going to be playing. And remember, it's okay to say no.
(#11) Professionals Handle Their Duties With Clinical Detachment

Beyond the fun-time world of super-hot singles wearing PVC, there's an entire world of bondage that focuses on interior body preferences. Is that the right way to put it? A lot of people get excited from the things happening inside their bodies.

According to a Redditor discussing the New York City dungeon scene:

Different people specialized in different things; my specialty was... psychological, and piercings/needle work. Some other [preferences] include cupping and [other forms of play]. Google at your own peril. A lot of the fantasies I acted out were very specific to the person.

Obviously, if you're working on people at that level, you've got to be clean, so if you're looking for a way to write off surgical gloves and antiseptic, you may have found your calling.
(#10) Learn The Rules Of The Scene (Because It's Not Just About Getting It On)

Different scenes have different rules. They're like restaurants in that way.

It's assumed that "no shoes, no shirts, no service" is a thing across the board, but depending on where you find yourself late on a Thursday night, you might want to ask if it's okay to get it on in a most rude manner. So says the rules of one particular club:

Play parties are not orgies: Sex isn't the main focus. But it does happen sometimes during scenes. This is either if the people playing are in a pre-established relationship that includes sex and decide to include it in a scene, or if they're playing casually, and doing a scene where some form of penetration has been pre-negotiated (usually pretty rare, but possible).
(#4) Anything Goes At Some Parties, Including Action By The Refreshments

If you're going to check out your local scene, realize you will encounter things outside the norm. If you're interested in traveling down this rabbit hole, you're going to see "animal players, age players, people in diapers, people doing various forms of intentionally goofy-looking humiliation play..."

If you're not into that stuff, fine. But you have to respect the rights of another player who is into it. Also be aware of the level of bondage you're getting into. Sure, there are vanilla clubs and parties, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. According to a write-up on more hard-line parties, you can find bowls of loose M&Ms in close proximity to where people are getting it on.
$Vanilla Fun: Light Latex And Leash Play For Beginners on Random Stories And Insider Facts About BDSM Dungeons And Sex Parties$

(#1) Vanilla Fun: Light Latex And Leash Play For Beginners

When writer Gareth May visited this very interesting club (as one does), he had a firsthand look at the apex of what some call vanilla play. There were people leading one another around on leashes, dancing, and wearing lots of latex.

While May didn't see any action in the open, that doesn't mean people weren't having a good time:

As you stood on the sidelines you could make out the little clusters of bodies in the corners, [pulling] at one another, reaching under latex skirts, kneading... shoulders, whispering their fantasies into the ears of their loved ones as others’ played out in front of their eyes.

When it was time to go home, revelers fell into more socially acceptable patterns, dissociating themselves from the event and lifestyle. As May described it:

By now it’s 4 am and the club is emptying. People are leaving the cloakroom, buttoned up in trench coats, their revealing costumes covered up like a superhero’s garb, a secret life hidden from reach.
(#7) You'll Get Kicked Out Real Quick If You Act Like a Creep

It's important for noobs to remember that all you have to do to get kicked out of your local scene is act like a creep.

As the folks at the Hidden Castle put it:

Event organizers are anxious to protect the reputation of their event. Behavior complaints happen easily and often. When they do happen there is no constitutional right to confront one's accuser. Most of the time the complainer's side of the story is the only one that is heard. Most of the time the person complained about will not become aware of the complaints at least until he or she finds him or herself no longer welcome.

So, just be cool. These clubs aren't free-for-alls; they're places where consenting adults get together for safe, intimate experimentation.